If you do not consider yourself a Christian, please do not read any further. Thank you.
I know I said a while back that I wasn't going to talk about relationships anymore, but, in the past week or two, I had a major breakthrough on the topic. No, I don't have a significant other; it wasn't that kind of breakthrough. Instead, it was a realization that my many declarations in the recent past--both online and elsewhere--had actually been rather misguided. While I realize my reasoning for the beliefs I held, that doesn't mean that I currently agree with them. In fact, the reasons for my old beliefs on the topic actually made more sense when I thought about them. Before I begin, I'll warn you: This is going to be a long one, so, you'd better get comfortable.
What was my major breakthrough? Simply put: I need a relationship; not necessarily now, but, at some point in the future, unless I die young or Jesus literally does return soon, both of which could happen. Here's why I say that: In my experience, it seems that guys can't make it on their own; they need a woman--a mother, a wife/girlfriend, a female acquaintance, or even a daughter--to tell them what to do. Just today, there was an incident where an elderly lady asked for a strong guy to shovel her snow, and the only person to reply was a mother who volunteered her teenage son. I would say that it's just the feminist culture--more on that later--but, if you look at the Bible, you'll see that it's been the case for quite a while. When God made the first woman, He said he was making "a helper suitable for" the man; flip to the Gospel of John, and you'll see that even the Savior of the World needed a woman to tell Him what to do if you read the story of Jesus turning the water into wine. I once heard a Mother's Day sermon based on that latter Bible passage that was titled, "Even Jesus Needed a Mom". So, if the Messiah needed the guidance of a woman, I'd say there's not much hope for the rest of us guys. From a secular standpoint, you often see where mainstream celebrities--including many of the male gender--give a shout-out to their mothers, wives, and/or daughters, realizing they wouldn't be where they are today without them.
While most if not all guys need a female presence in their lives, I need one more than most. I've always had a penchant for wasting time; doing pointless tasks that I even regret later. Left to my own devices, I'd always be twiddling my thumbs; thanks to the guidance of others, especially my mother, I find out what I need to do and then do it. I'm thankful for my mom's help and that of other authority figures--teachers, supervisors, etc.--but, when it comes to my parents, I know they won't be around forever; they're not getting any younger, and, if someday I end up without them, I'll need someone to help me figure out what to do and how to do it. While some guys have been helpful, in most cases, it seems that the women in my life tended to understand me better, which is why I currently have mostly female friends. Most guys I've known have been confused, annoyed, or weirded out by my habits; then again, some women have been, too, especially one in particular.
So, then, why all this talk about avoiding a relationship? Simple: While getting married is kind of a necessity for my future survival, one of my biggest fears has always been saying, "I do," to the wrong person. You may think that's a product of my biological parents' divorce when I was very little, but it goes beyond that or even dissolution of marriages in general. When I was in school, I had many teachers, most for only a year or two, sometimes not even that long. I did have some instructors who took me under their wing and looked out for me, and I seriously respected them for it; however, others besmirched their profession, sometimes doing the unthinkable to me or my classmates, which caused their students to mock them behind their backs. You probably remember the story about how the lead special ed teacher at my high school lied to me about taking chemistry class over the summer; she told me it wasn't available and I had to take an Outdoor P.E. class instead, but, I saw a list of Chemistry students posted near a classroom door on my first day of summer school. When I told my family members about what she had done, they didn't believe me; my sister and brother-in-law believed she had to be mistaken, because they were 100% sure that a teacher would never lie to a student...but, I wasn't buying it. Maybe back when they were in school, teachers had that kind of decorum, but, in my experience, that was long gone. I had to deal with jerk teachers as early as kindergarten--no joke!--and my unfortunate experiences with them made me despise school in general almost as soon as I started. If you went to a public school when I did, even if it wasn't the same school, you probably have similar experiences.
Why bring that up? Easy: Like teachers, Christians are supposed to be called to a higher standard...but, instead, they often do exactly what the rest of the world does while still proclaiming Jesus. I've had to deal with enough jerks in my life; I really don't want to be married to one. Unfortunately, that may end up happening, and I may not find out that's the case until too late. I hate to compare people to pets, but, this is the best analogy I've got: You probably know the story of Sparky, the dog my family and I had from 2002 to 2006 whom I never did like. From the time we got him, I wanted my mom to give him away to someone who would appreciate him, because I sure wasn't going to. Eventually, when he started showing some problematic behaviors, my sister, who worked at a veterinary clinic back then, had talked about putting a classified ad somewhere in order to give him away...but, she couldn't think of anything positive to say about him other than that he was "cute". I was still talking about giving him away, but, my mom said, "We're stuck with him!"
Here's why I mention that: A person--regardless of gender--could claim to be a Christian but have no other redeeming qualities in any other area; if I were married to a woman like that, I'd go insane. I'm sure all of you reading this know Jesus' commandment about divorce: you can't do it except in cases of "marital unfaithfulness," which is another was of saying an extramarital affair. So, you can't rightfully divorce someone for being a jerk, unless he/she actually cheats on you. While part of me wants to say that my future wife could change her ways, another part of me knows that the "If you've got a problem with what I do, that's on you" mentality is far too prevalent, especially among those of my generation. Even if she doesn't start out being a jerk, circumstances could cause her to change for the worse; you all know the stories of my former friends who used to think the world of me, but now won't even give me the time of day, all because of my own actions. While a wife may not walk out on me because I make a major mess-up--though she might, even if she was a Christian--it could turn our marriage into something ugly, and, much like my ended friendships, it may never recover from that.
Honestly, I'm tired of women bashing guys just because they're guys. While I understand and agree with the basic tenet of feminism--women are people, too!--I hate the way it has turned into what I would call reverse sexism or female chauvinism. Seriously, looking down on everyone of a certain gender is no different than looking down on all Asians or anybody from Texas; it's nothing short of a prejudice. Unfortunately, the whole "women are superior" mentality has even found its way into the church, and not just in the context of marriage. Over a decade ago, an elder and longtime friend departed from the church I was attending at the time, and mentioned in an e-mail that one reason he left was people "not submitting to the eldership," and, while he didn't name names, he specifically mentioned "wives". So, the women of the church were not respecting the men who were supposed to be leading the church...which is just unacceptable. While I believe women are divinely created individuals, and shouldn't be maligned, disrespected, or objectified...the same is true of anyone! Much to my chagrin, many people, including Christians, disagree with that mentality because they've fallen prey to modern culture.
So, while getting married seems to be a necessity for the distant future--assuming me and this world make it to that point--the thought of it also scares me. It's sort of like a major surgery: You know you need it to survive, but, the thought of it isn't exactly pleasant. While being married to the right person would be great and wonderful, being married to the wrong person would be something I'd regret for the rest of my life. I'll just have to hope and pray that God leads me to the right woman; that's about all I can do at this point.
A postscript: Please do not send me any links to any Christian dating websites. For the moment, I feel that God wants me living with my parents because they need me. You have no idea how many times they run into tasks they can't do without my help, ranging from setting the DVR to printing images out on their Mac to reaching a high cabinet. I definitely don't want to force God's hand in this matter, nor do I want to abandon my parents when they truly do need me. I'll just trust that, when the time comes, I'll find the right girl...and maybe not online.
Monday, January 25, 2016
Sunday, January 10, 2016
The Tag of Happiness
Some Songs That Make You Happy
- "Stockholm Syndrome" by Muse (a recent favorite of mine)
- "Lay Down Your Weapons My Friend" by Kevin Max (a song I discovered by accident, but I love it!)
- "Escape Goat" by Siobhan Magnus (though all of her songs are great, that's probably my favorite)
- "No More" by dc Talk (I love its anthemic nature and bold stance against sin!)
- "Hurricane" by Bridgit Mendler (this song has racked up tons of plays!)
- "Get This Party Started" by TobyMac (a fun song to get you going!)
Some Books That Make You Happy
- The Bible (of course!)
- Any of the Garfield Fat Cat Three Packs, especially the early ones, by Jim Davis
- The Weddings by Bella trilogy by Janice Thompson
- The Sierra Jensen series by Robin Jones Gunn
- Pretty much any Star Wars Expanded Universe books
- The Circle Trilogy by Ted Dekker
Some Movies and TV Shows That Make You Happy
- Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars (my favorite movie of all-time!)
- Lizzie McGuire (a show that changed my life; seriously!)
- Star Wars (another franchise which changed my life!)
- Monsters, Inc. (very cute, and very funny!)
- Austin & Ally (a wonderful show featuring my favorite kid from Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?)
- Jeopardy! (the ultimate show for trivia buffs like me!)
- Mork & Mindy (a classic, and the show that put the late Robin Williams on the map!)
- I Love Lucy (another classic, and from the early days of television!)
- Good Witch (a true family drama; something we need more of these days!)
- Power Rangers (cheesy...but FUN!)
- Bill Nye the Science Guy (he is educational...and entertaining! What could be better than that?)
- That's So Raven (a longtime favorite)
Some Foods That Make You Happy
- Pizza (my favorite food!)
- Cereal (my breakfast of choice!)
- Cheeseburgers
- Chicken sandwiches
- Mashed potatoes
- M&Ms
- Cheez-Its
- Snickers
- Goldfish crackers
- Dr. Pepper
- French fries
- Doritos Locos Tacos (from Taco Bell!)
Some Words That Make You Happy
- Jesus
- library
- take-out
- pizza
- church
- friends
- Disney
- garage sale (okay, that's two words!)
- bargain
- free
- calendar
- superhero
Some Random Things That Make You Happy
- The salvation I have in Jesus Christ.
- The Disney Channel.
- Bargain hunting, including at garage sales, library sales, thrift stores, MovieStop, used bookstores...pretty much anywhere!
- Apple devices.
- Free stuff.
- My friends at church.
- Take the banner and put it in your post.
- List as many things as you want in each category.
- Come up with more categories if you wish.
- Tag as many people as you want.
Anyone who is reading this!
Monday, December 28, 2015
100 Facts About Me
100 Facts About Me!!
001. Real name:
Jerry
002. Nickname:
Jerr, Jerr-Bear
003. Favorite color:
Green, especially neon green
004. Male or Female:
Male
005. Elementary school:
Jenkins and McIntosh
006. Middle school:
Gildersleeve
007. High school:
Menchville
008. College:
ECPI
009. Hair color:
Blonde
010. Tall or Short:
Tall, as in over six feet.
011. Sweats or jeans:
Well, I usually wear jeans, so...
012. Phone or camera:
Definitely phone. I love talking to people, but I hate having my picture taken.
013. Health freak:
Never really have been one.
014. Orange or apple:
Definitely apple.
015. Do you have a crush on someone:
I think nobody would be surprised by this answer: Yes.
016. Guy friends or girl friends:
Female friends are awesome when it comes to giving advice and listening, but guys tend to know more about technology, superheroes, and other topics I'm interested in.
017. Piercings:
None, and there never will be any.
018. Pepsi or Coke:
I like pretty much all sodas.
019. Have you been in a airplane:
Never, but I've always wanted to try it, especially after having a computer game as a kid that let you take a virtual tour of an airport. Maybe someday...
020. Have you been in a relationship:
No, and, as you probably know, I probably never will.
021. Have you been in a car accident:
I was in one before I was born. I was also in another minor one, where nobody got hurt and the damage was minimal.
022. Have you been in a fist fight:
No way! I don't believe in violence!
023. First piercing:
See the answer to number seventeen above.
024. Best friend:
I currently don't have just one singular best friend, but, among my good friends are: Lorie, Laura and Krystal A., Tanya, Pat and Gary, and the Garcia and Johnson families.
025. First award:
Probably the one I got for speaking on the announcements in first or second grade.
026. First crush:
The Pink Power Ranger; yes, the very first one.
027. First word:
According to my mom, it was "cheese".
028. Any talent:
Writing, Mac OS X, putting things in alphabetical or numerical order, memorization, etc.
029. Last person you talked to:
My mom.
030. Last person you texted:
I haven't texted anyone in years.
031. Last person(s) you watched a movie with:
My parents.
032. Last thing you ate:
A Red Robin cheeseburger and fries.
033. Last movie/TV show you watched:
Austin & Ally.
034. Last song you listened to:
"You Drive, I'll Ride" by FFH.
035. Last thing you bought:
A CD/DVD drive for my Mac, and The Flash on DVD.
036. Last person you hugged:
My friend Tanya.
Favorite:
037. Food:
Pizza.
038. Drink:
Dr. Pepper.
039. Bottoms:
Jeans.
040. Flower:
Not really into flowers.
041. Animal(s):
Garfield, Scooby-Doo, and my cat Roberta.
042. Color:
See above.
043. Movie:
Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars.
044. Subject:
Math and science.
Have You Ever? (Put An X In The Brackets If YES.)
045. [X] Fallen in love with someone?
046. [X] Celebrated Halloween?
047. [X] Had your heart broken?
048. [] Went over the minutes/texts on your phone?
049. [] Had someone like you?
050. [X] Hated the way someone changed?
051. [] Broken a bone?
052. [X] Have/Had a phobia?
053. [X] Did something you regret?
054. [X] Broken a promise?
055. [X] Hide a secret?
056. [X] Pretend to be happy?
057. [X] Met someone who has changed your life?
058. [X]Pretended to be sick?
059. [] Left the country?
060. [X] Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it?
061. [X] Cried over the silliest thing?
062. [X] Ran a mile?
063. [] Gone to the beach with your best friend?
064. [X] Gotten into an argument with your friends?
065. [X] Disliked someone?
066. [X] Stayed single for two years since the first time you had a bf/gf or been single forever?
CURRENTLY.
067. Eating:
Nothing.
068. Drinking:
Nothing.
069. Listening to:
"I Won't Stay Long" by Sixpence None the Richer! (Wait, it just changed to "Why Did I Let You Go?" by V*Enna!)
070. Sitting or laying:
Sitting.
071. Plans for today:
Well, my plans for earlier today were to go to the bank, have lunch with a friend, buy my new disc drive, and make my lunch for work tomorrow. Now that those are done, all I need to do is finish my laundry, and then I can fulfill my reading and TV watching quotient for the day.
072. Waiting for:
2016! I'm curious to see what it brings.
073. Want kids:
No, and I never really have.
074. Want to get married:
It'd be nice, but, I don't see it happening.
075. Want to travel:
Yes, very much so.
WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A PARTNER?
076. Lips or eyes:
Both.
077. Shorter or taller:
Either.
078. Younger or older.
I've always liked older women, but, I could go for someone younger as well.
079. Romantic or spontaneous:
Depends on the person.
080. Trouble-maker or hesitant:
The last thing I need is to get involved with a troublemaker.
081. Hook up or relationship:
Definitely the latter.
082. Looks or personality:
Definitely the latter.
HAVE YOU EVER?
083. Lost glasses:
Yes, several times.
084. Snuck out of the house:
Once, when I was really little.
085. Held a gun/knife in self defense:
No; I don't believe in violence.
086. Killed somebody:
See the above answer.
087. Broke someone's heart:
I'm sure I have at some point.
088. Been in love:
Yes...but it wasn't reciprocated.
089. Cried when someone died:
Not in a long time; I grieve in other ways.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN?
090. Yourself:
I believe I exist, but I also believe in a higher power.
091. Miracles:
Yes; I believe God still performs miracles to this day.
092. Love at first sight:
I used to...but, not anymore.
093. Heaven:
Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!
094. Santa Claus:
No, but movies featuring him can be fun.
095. Aliens:
I believe there must be intelligent life somewhere in the universe...because there isn't too much on Earth.
096. Ghosts/Angels:
Ghosts, no; angels, yes.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
097. The one person you really want to be with right now:
No one, really.
098. Do you know who your real friends are:
Yes!
099. Do you believe in God:
Yes!
100. Music or art:
Music is art!
I will add a question, then you add one when you do it ((;
Added question by the previous poster:
101. What you do pray you can attain in this life?
To make this world a better place.
Added question by me:
102. What kind of device are you using to do this?
A flat-screen iMac.
I nominate anyone who reads this to do this challenge...and add a question of your own when you do! Thanks to Mary Kate for nominating me for this!
001. Real name:
Jerry
002. Nickname:
Jerr, Jerr-Bear
003. Favorite color:
Green, especially neon green
004. Male or Female:
Male
005. Elementary school:
Jenkins and McIntosh
006. Middle school:
Gildersleeve
007. High school:
Menchville
008. College:
ECPI
009. Hair color:
Blonde
010. Tall or Short:
Tall, as in over six feet.
011. Sweats or jeans:
Well, I usually wear jeans, so...
012. Phone or camera:
Definitely phone. I love talking to people, but I hate having my picture taken.
013. Health freak:
Never really have been one.
014. Orange or apple:
Definitely apple.
015. Do you have a crush on someone:
I think nobody would be surprised by this answer: Yes.
016. Guy friends or girl friends:
Female friends are awesome when it comes to giving advice and listening, but guys tend to know more about technology, superheroes, and other topics I'm interested in.
017. Piercings:
None, and there never will be any.
018. Pepsi or Coke:
I like pretty much all sodas.
019. Have you been in a airplane:
Never, but I've always wanted to try it, especially after having a computer game as a kid that let you take a virtual tour of an airport. Maybe someday...
020. Have you been in a relationship:
No, and, as you probably know, I probably never will.
021. Have you been in a car accident:
I was in one before I was born. I was also in another minor one, where nobody got hurt and the damage was minimal.
022. Have you been in a fist fight:
No way! I don't believe in violence!
023. First piercing:
See the answer to number seventeen above.
024. Best friend:
I currently don't have just one singular best friend, but, among my good friends are: Lorie, Laura and Krystal A., Tanya, Pat and Gary, and the Garcia and Johnson families.
025. First award:
Probably the one I got for speaking on the announcements in first or second grade.
026. First crush:
The Pink Power Ranger; yes, the very first one.
027. First word:
According to my mom, it was "cheese".
028. Any talent:
Writing, Mac OS X, putting things in alphabetical or numerical order, memorization, etc.
029. Last person you talked to:
My mom.
030. Last person you texted:
I haven't texted anyone in years.
031. Last person(s) you watched a movie with:
My parents.
032. Last thing you ate:
A Red Robin cheeseburger and fries.
033. Last movie/TV show you watched:
Austin & Ally.
034. Last song you listened to:
"You Drive, I'll Ride" by FFH.
035. Last thing you bought:
A CD/DVD drive for my Mac, and The Flash on DVD.
036. Last person you hugged:
My friend Tanya.
Favorite:
037. Food:
Pizza.
038. Drink:
Dr. Pepper.
039. Bottoms:
Jeans.
040. Flower:
Not really into flowers.
041. Animal(s):
Garfield, Scooby-Doo, and my cat Roberta.
042. Color:
See above.
043. Movie:
Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars.
044. Subject:
Math and science.
Have You Ever? (Put An X In The Brackets If YES.)
045. [X] Fallen in love with someone?
046. [X] Celebrated Halloween?
047. [X] Had your heart broken?
048. [] Went over the minutes/texts on your phone?
049. [] Had someone like you?
050. [X] Hated the way someone changed?
051. [] Broken a bone?
052. [X] Have/Had a phobia?
053. [X] Did something you regret?
054. [X] Broken a promise?
055. [X] Hide a secret?
056. [X] Pretend to be happy?
057. [X] Met someone who has changed your life?
058. [X]Pretended to be sick?
059. [] Left the country?
060. [X] Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it?
061. [X] Cried over the silliest thing?
062. [X] Ran a mile?
063. [] Gone to the beach with your best friend?
064. [X] Gotten into an argument with your friends?
065. [X] Disliked someone?
066. [X] Stayed single for two years since the first time you had a bf/gf or been single forever?
CURRENTLY.
067. Eating:
Nothing.
068. Drinking:
Nothing.
069. Listening to:
"I Won't Stay Long" by Sixpence None the Richer! (Wait, it just changed to "Why Did I Let You Go?" by V*Enna!)
070. Sitting or laying:
Sitting.
071. Plans for today:
Well, my plans for earlier today were to go to the bank, have lunch with a friend, buy my new disc drive, and make my lunch for work tomorrow. Now that those are done, all I need to do is finish my laundry, and then I can fulfill my reading and TV watching quotient for the day.
072. Waiting for:
2016! I'm curious to see what it brings.
073. Want kids:
No, and I never really have.
074. Want to get married:
It'd be nice, but, I don't see it happening.
075. Want to travel:
Yes, very much so.
WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A PARTNER?
076. Lips or eyes:
Both.
077. Shorter or taller:
Either.
078. Younger or older.
I've always liked older women, but, I could go for someone younger as well.
079. Romantic or spontaneous:
Depends on the person.
080. Trouble-maker or hesitant:
The last thing I need is to get involved with a troublemaker.
081. Hook up or relationship:
Definitely the latter.
082. Looks or personality:
Definitely the latter.
HAVE YOU EVER?
083. Lost glasses:
Yes, several times.
084. Snuck out of the house:
Once, when I was really little.
085. Held a gun/knife in self defense:
No; I don't believe in violence.
086. Killed somebody:
See the above answer.
087. Broke someone's heart:
I'm sure I have at some point.
088. Been in love:
Yes...but it wasn't reciprocated.
089. Cried when someone died:
Not in a long time; I grieve in other ways.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN?
090. Yourself:
I believe I exist, but I also believe in a higher power.
091. Miracles:
Yes; I believe God still performs miracles to this day.
092. Love at first sight:
I used to...but, not anymore.
093. Heaven:
Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!
094. Santa Claus:
No, but movies featuring him can be fun.
095. Aliens:
I believe there must be intelligent life somewhere in the universe...because there isn't too much on Earth.
096. Ghosts/Angels:
Ghosts, no; angels, yes.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
097. The one person you really want to be with right now:
No one, really.
098. Do you know who your real friends are:
Yes!
099. Do you believe in God:
Yes!
100. Music or art:
Music is art!
I will add a question, then you add one when you do it ((;
Added question by the previous poster:
101. What you do pray you can attain in this life?
To make this world a better place.
Added question by me:
102. What kind of device are you using to do this?
A flat-screen iMac.
I nominate anyone who reads this to do this challenge...and add a question of your own when you do! Thanks to Mary Kate for nominating me for this!
Saturday, December 26, 2015
All Of My Best Friends Are...Technological Devices?
It goes beyond just books, music, movies, and television, though. If you know me, you know that I don't do sports, theme parks, or anything involving large bodies of water, which has caused much criticism. While most of the people I know respect those preferences of mine, it means I can't usually do things with them, because what they like to do often involves one or more of those things...which everyone seems to like but me. I also can't seem to get very many of my friends interested in bargain hunting or the Disney Channel; whereas those are among my favorite activities, most people I know just couldn't care less. It's been years since I went to a garage sale with someone besides a family member. My lack of common ground with others, which has always been present, has prevented close friendships from happening...which is why my technological devices seem to be my sole companions.
There are other issues as well--such as my lack of transportation--but, I won't go into those in detail; you probably already know all about them, anyway. Instead, I'll say this: I'm generally a well-liked person. Most of the people at my church or whom I work with seem to have a positive opinion of me. Jesus even said, "Whoever is not against you is for you"...but, does everyone whose opinion of me is positive qualify as my friend? I may chit-chat with them, but, for someone to be more than just an acquaintance, there has to be a closeness there...and I just seem to lack that. Then again, maybe I'm wrong; I've never been the best judge of myself...so, what do you think?
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Why I Am Making a New Year's Resolution...And You Should, Too!
That was a long time ago, and I have done much thinking about my ways since then, which has caused me to realize how wrong I have been about nearly everything pretty much my entire life. While a lot of it may be due to my "condition," the sinful nature is something that is present in all of us. Unfortunately, though, it seems that many people have the same mentality I used to; when talking about New Year's resolutions with someone a couple of years ago, he told me that he didn't make any because, to quote him, "I don't want to make promises I know I'm not going to keep." To me, that just sounds like a bad attitude, and it reminds me of the infamous saying attributed to Henry Ford: "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." Still, it seems like nobody makes them anymore...which is just sad. Seriously, you can make a change for the better if you just put your mind to it; I'm living proof of that!
I said a week or two ago on Facebook that my resolution for 2016 was to do away with the excess in all areas: eating, consumption of entertainment, spending of money, library checkouts, etc. I actually came up with a set of rules, though I'm still working on them; they won't become official until 2016. After the New Year starts, I won't modify them unless absolutely necessary. I also won't be posting them on Facebook; so far, my mom is the only other one who has seen them, and she only saw an early draft, though I will show her the finished rules soon. While I don't know what your home life is like, I'm sure you probably have some changes you need to make in your lifestyle; you're human just like the rest of us. If you have trouble assessing your own ways, ask someone whom you live with, or see or talk to pretty much every day; they'll tell you what you should do.
Change is hard; it's true. People are creatures of habit, which makes it difficult for us to change our ways. Still, as Frederick Douglass once said, "If there is no struggle, there is no progress." I would suggest not biting off more than you can chew when making a resolution; the aforementioned Daily Press column described how the writer would go to the Noland Trail and watch as all those who vowed to run a mile or two every day would sweat it out on January 1st...only to come back a few months later and see that most of them had called it quits. Of course if you go from being a non-runner to trying a strenuous athletic feat every single day, it'll be too tough; I may not know much about physical health, but one thing I do know is that you have to work your way up to it. That's why I'm preparing for next year's resolution right now: I can see what works, what doesn't, and how it will affect me in the near future.
In conclusion, I will say this: While I want to be happy--and who doesn't?--one thing I don't want to be is complacent; I know that I'm not fine the way I am...because nobody is. Motivational speaker and author Andy Andrews once decried the common belief that good friends accept you just the way you are; in his live performance of The Seven Decisions, he said, "Good friends challenge you to be better." Far too many people are complacent, because the culture tells us: "It's okay; you're just fine the way you are, no matter what you do." That's not true, though; I actually detest that mentality. My hope is that my friends will challenge me to be better and do the right thing, always; isn't that what God would want all of us to do?
Any comments?
Friday, December 11, 2015
It's Time to Put a Rest to This...Once And For All
Ever since I started doing public online postings on places such as Facebook, Xanga, and, of course, here, relationships have often been the topic of discussion. I've talked about my attempts at finding a date that went wrong; I've discussed the kind of relationship I hoped to have one day; I've described the attributes of certain women that made them more attractive, whether they be older ones or Disney actresses; I've made more than one hypothesis as to why my relationship status just won't seem to change; I've used television characters such as Lizzie McGuire or Mindy McConnell (the latter half of Mork & Mindy, that is) as archetypes of the wife I would like to have; and, I've gone back and forth about whether a relationship is or isn't in my future. Well, after nearly a decade of this--seriously, I joined Facebook and got my first blog back in 2006!--I've simply had enough...and I think you have, too. If a relationship is in my future, great; I'll enjoy the benefits whenever it happens. If not, though, I can be perfectly happy without one; after all, if I've made it this far without a significant other...why do I need one now? She could end up holding me back or leading me astray, and I don't think any of us want that (unless you despise me, though I don't know why on earth you'd bother reading this if you did.)
There are some ideas I've had about relationships that I've shared with a couple of people, and I'd like to make them public...but, after this, that's it. I may still write on this blog, but, unless I find myself in a relationship--which the writing on the wall deems unlikely--I'm not going to make such a post like this again. If I'm going to make 2016 my best year yet--and I hope to--I don't need this baggage weighing me down.
So, what are my ideas? First off: Why would an outlier of my generation such as myself believe that someone of my generation could be my mate for life? Let's face it: Most people of my generation--including Christians--have fallen under the spell of modern culture. Instead of taking Peter's advice in Acts 2:40 ("Save yourselves from this corrupt generation") they embrace modern "values," many of which are staunchly against Biblical teachings. You may think that this is about entertainment, and, to a degree, it is; far too often, Christians meet together and watch movies/shows, listen to songs, or play games that would cause Jesus to overturn some tables...but, they don't find it inconsistent with their faith. Still, millenials in general--regardless of faith or lack thereof--often act in ways that even secular morality would deem wrong...but consider themselves innocent of any wrongdoing. When they're confronted with their sin, they're quick to quote the verse that says, "Do not judge," not realizing--or are they?--that they're taking Jesus' words out of context. It astounds me coeval Christians have taken such a lackadaisical attitude towards everything from immodest dress to extramarital affairs. Sure, I'm a sinner as well, and I've messed up this year alone in ways that would shock you...but, I am not proud of what I did; in fact, I'm rather ashamed. The more I think about my past mistakes, the lower and lower I feel. While I know that Jesus' blood washes away all sins, those memories still hurt because of the other people I sinned against, such as family members or once-good friends.
When I was in seventh grade, I was rather frustrated with my classmates' behavior; it went against my moral code. My mom told me that maybe I'd find someone who agreed with me...but, nobody did; even my Christian friends were find with such sinful acts. It's the same way now: I'm very unhappy with the way my generation is...but, nobody else seems to care. I'm reminded of an incident from several years ago: Long story short, a friend of my mom's said that her two-or-three-year-old son hit his older, disabled brother in the head with a chair, and ended up cracking his skull; the older brother was taken to the hospital as a result. My mom, who had much more parenting experience under her belt, told her friend, "When he does things like this and you think it's cute, you're just encouraging him to keep doing these things." I have no idea how that kid turned out, but, I do know that many people of my generation had authority figures--maybe parents, maybe not--who were just the same way; instead of taking action when the kids they were responsible for acted out, they brushed it off and acted like it was nothing at all. The high school youth group at my old church once did the unthinkable to me, and, when I complained to the youth leader/associate minister in an e-mail, all I got was defensiveness (such as calling the whole thing "good-natured fun," which is bullfunky if I've ever heard it) instead of forcing them to make it up to me or even apologizing on their behalf. Unfortunately, things like this are commonplace, which is why my generation is in the sad state that it's in; nobody was willing to take them to task for their inappropriate behavior.
Second off: When people interact with me, whether for good or for ill, they don't see somebody like me. Some years ago, I made a rather long post that described how, because of my interests, my female friends subconsciously see me as another girl instead of a guy. That's partially true, but, upon some thinking, I realize that my favorite things are all over the map when it comes to the usual interest demographic. Disney Channel shows and superhero cartoons appeal to younger kids; shopping aka "bargain hunting" appeals more to the fairer sex; garage sales appeal more to retired people and other older folks; most people think of an older woman when they think of a "librarian" (which, despite popular belief, is not simply someone who works at a library); the old-school shows are more popular with the people who grew up with them, which is usually older folks; many people of my generation read as little as possible; and, much of the music I listen to is largely "out of style" with pretty much everyone. So, I'm a weird hodgepodge of a "tween" and someone much older than myself, both of which would be unappealing to a potential significant other. (Seriously, what twenty-something girl would want to date a twelve-year-old or a guy old enough to be her father? It's creepy either way!) Still, my interests are what they are, and I'm not going to change them just to make someone else happy.
My last point before my conclusion: While I have my convictions, I can't let them ruin things for someone else...including a significant other. Let's say--and this is purely hypothetical--that your spouse or other significant other wants to see something on TV; he/she was talking about it a week in advance. So, you sit down together, turn on your television set and cable box or whatever...and your TV service is completely out, which means you can't watch it or record it. It ends up staying out for a while, so, you call your provider, and it turns out that the outage was caused by something you did; that is, you inadvertently caused your spouse/significant other to miss that big event he/she was really looking forward to watching. You'd probably feel terrible, right?
Well, that's how I would feel if I caused someone--anyone, really--to miss out on something like that they wanted to see because I wasn't comfortable with its content. While my spectrum of entertainment is rather broad, it still doesn't include what's popular with most people, especially those around my age. Still, for most folks, their favorite shows and movies are as important to them as the Disney Channel and superhero cartoons are to me; they just don't want to do without them. Some people have serious rules about what they will and won't watch; I remember an incident where a usually easy-going friend got rather upset when I mentioned Finding Nemo, which he refused to watch because of Ellen DeGeneres' voice role as Dory. Other people won't watch anything with Tom Cruise in it because of the whole "jumping the couch"/Katie Holmes thing. I really have no room to talk, because my rules are just as strict...but, nobody else has those rules. So, if my significant other wanted to watch something, and I wasn't comfortable with it...what would I do? Of course, one would hope she would respect my convictions...but, there's no guarantees there; with the whole "female superiority" thing going on right now, she'd probably tell me that I was going to watch it with her whether I liked it or not. I can't have that...which likely means no relationship for me.
Here's my conclusion: Ever since joining Facebook in 2006--and, to a degree, even before that--I've been bombarded with relationship news from my friends and even friends of friends: engagement announcements, wedding photos, mushy statuses, breakups, divorces, etc. Most of the posts fall into the category of the former three, especially back in the early days, when most of my friends were still in the dating or newlywed phase. I know their intent was for their friends to share in their happiness...but, those posts actually served as advertisements for a relationship, which made me all the more frustrated that I didn't have one. Recent developments, however, have shown that they're not all they're cracked up to be; right now, I have two different friends around my age who are in the midst of filing for divorce, which is just heartbreaking. Still, back in the day--that is, before all this relationship madness--I was perfectly happy being single; in fact, when I was much younger, I didn't even want to get married...and I still kind of don't. However, that would be easier to accept if people weren't constantly gushing about how great their significant others are; too much of that gives me a big jolt in the other direction...which is not what I need.
All right, that's it; no more on this topic. I will not be replying to any comments on this post; be warned.
There are some ideas I've had about relationships that I've shared with a couple of people, and I'd like to make them public...but, after this, that's it. I may still write on this blog, but, unless I find myself in a relationship--which the writing on the wall deems unlikely--I'm not going to make such a post like this again. If I'm going to make 2016 my best year yet--and I hope to--I don't need this baggage weighing me down.
So, what are my ideas? First off: Why would an outlier of my generation such as myself believe that someone of my generation could be my mate for life? Let's face it: Most people of my generation--including Christians--have fallen under the spell of modern culture. Instead of taking Peter's advice in Acts 2:40 ("Save yourselves from this corrupt generation") they embrace modern "values," many of which are staunchly against Biblical teachings. You may think that this is about entertainment, and, to a degree, it is; far too often, Christians meet together and watch movies/shows, listen to songs, or play games that would cause Jesus to overturn some tables...but, they don't find it inconsistent with their faith. Still, millenials in general--regardless of faith or lack thereof--often act in ways that even secular morality would deem wrong...but consider themselves innocent of any wrongdoing. When they're confronted with their sin, they're quick to quote the verse that says, "Do not judge," not realizing--or are they?--that they're taking Jesus' words out of context. It astounds me coeval Christians have taken such a lackadaisical attitude towards everything from immodest dress to extramarital affairs. Sure, I'm a sinner as well, and I've messed up this year alone in ways that would shock you...but, I am not proud of what I did; in fact, I'm rather ashamed. The more I think about my past mistakes, the lower and lower I feel. While I know that Jesus' blood washes away all sins, those memories still hurt because of the other people I sinned against, such as family members or once-good friends.
When I was in seventh grade, I was rather frustrated with my classmates' behavior; it went against my moral code. My mom told me that maybe I'd find someone who agreed with me...but, nobody did; even my Christian friends were find with such sinful acts. It's the same way now: I'm very unhappy with the way my generation is...but, nobody else seems to care. I'm reminded of an incident from several years ago: Long story short, a friend of my mom's said that her two-or-three-year-old son hit his older, disabled brother in the head with a chair, and ended up cracking his skull; the older brother was taken to the hospital as a result. My mom, who had much more parenting experience under her belt, told her friend, "When he does things like this and you think it's cute, you're just encouraging him to keep doing these things." I have no idea how that kid turned out, but, I do know that many people of my generation had authority figures--maybe parents, maybe not--who were just the same way; instead of taking action when the kids they were responsible for acted out, they brushed it off and acted like it was nothing at all. The high school youth group at my old church once did the unthinkable to me, and, when I complained to the youth leader/associate minister in an e-mail, all I got was defensiveness (such as calling the whole thing "good-natured fun," which is bullfunky if I've ever heard it) instead of forcing them to make it up to me or even apologizing on their behalf. Unfortunately, things like this are commonplace, which is why my generation is in the sad state that it's in; nobody was willing to take them to task for their inappropriate behavior.
Second off: When people interact with me, whether for good or for ill, they don't see somebody like me. Some years ago, I made a rather long post that described how, because of my interests, my female friends subconsciously see me as another girl instead of a guy. That's partially true, but, upon some thinking, I realize that my favorite things are all over the map when it comes to the usual interest demographic. Disney Channel shows and superhero cartoons appeal to younger kids; shopping aka "bargain hunting" appeals more to the fairer sex; garage sales appeal more to retired people and other older folks; most people think of an older woman when they think of a "librarian" (which, despite popular belief, is not simply someone who works at a library); the old-school shows are more popular with the people who grew up with them, which is usually older folks; many people of my generation read as little as possible; and, much of the music I listen to is largely "out of style" with pretty much everyone. So, I'm a weird hodgepodge of a "tween" and someone much older than myself, both of which would be unappealing to a potential significant other. (Seriously, what twenty-something girl would want to date a twelve-year-old or a guy old enough to be her father? It's creepy either way!) Still, my interests are what they are, and I'm not going to change them just to make someone else happy.
My last point before my conclusion: While I have my convictions, I can't let them ruin things for someone else...including a significant other. Let's say--and this is purely hypothetical--that your spouse or other significant other wants to see something on TV; he/she was talking about it a week in advance. So, you sit down together, turn on your television set and cable box or whatever...and your TV service is completely out, which means you can't watch it or record it. It ends up staying out for a while, so, you call your provider, and it turns out that the outage was caused by something you did; that is, you inadvertently caused your spouse/significant other to miss that big event he/she was really looking forward to watching. You'd probably feel terrible, right?
Well, that's how I would feel if I caused someone--anyone, really--to miss out on something like that they wanted to see because I wasn't comfortable with its content. While my spectrum of entertainment is rather broad, it still doesn't include what's popular with most people, especially those around my age. Still, for most folks, their favorite shows and movies are as important to them as the Disney Channel and superhero cartoons are to me; they just don't want to do without them. Some people have serious rules about what they will and won't watch; I remember an incident where a usually easy-going friend got rather upset when I mentioned Finding Nemo, which he refused to watch because of Ellen DeGeneres' voice role as Dory. Other people won't watch anything with Tom Cruise in it because of the whole "jumping the couch"/Katie Holmes thing. I really have no room to talk, because my rules are just as strict...but, nobody else has those rules. So, if my significant other wanted to watch something, and I wasn't comfortable with it...what would I do? Of course, one would hope she would respect my convictions...but, there's no guarantees there; with the whole "female superiority" thing going on right now, she'd probably tell me that I was going to watch it with her whether I liked it or not. I can't have that...which likely means no relationship for me.
Here's my conclusion: Ever since joining Facebook in 2006--and, to a degree, even before that--I've been bombarded with relationship news from my friends and even friends of friends: engagement announcements, wedding photos, mushy statuses, breakups, divorces, etc. Most of the posts fall into the category of the former three, especially back in the early days, when most of my friends were still in the dating or newlywed phase. I know their intent was for their friends to share in their happiness...but, those posts actually served as advertisements for a relationship, which made me all the more frustrated that I didn't have one. Recent developments, however, have shown that they're not all they're cracked up to be; right now, I have two different friends around my age who are in the midst of filing for divorce, which is just heartbreaking. Still, back in the day--that is, before all this relationship madness--I was perfectly happy being single; in fact, when I was much younger, I didn't even want to get married...and I still kind of don't. However, that would be easier to accept if people weren't constantly gushing about how great their significant others are; too much of that gives me a big jolt in the other direction...which is not what I need.
All right, that's it; no more on this topic. I will not be replying to any comments on this post; be warned.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
When Will This Cruel War Be Over?
Before I start: If you do not consider yourself a Christian, please do not read any further. Thank you.
Way back in early 2007, I heard a story about a then-friend, referred to in previous posts as "Rewind," that kind of shocked me...but not for the reasons you may think. While home from college, Rewind had a party at her house that was only for the girls--why, I'm not exactly sure--which meant her then-boyfriend wasn't invited. He did know about it, though, and proceeded to ruin it for everyone involved; he got together with two guys--one of whom was the one who told me this--and went to Rewind's neighborhood, parked at a neighbor's house, and proceeded to "knock on the door like madmen," according to the guy who told me of the incident. At first, the girls inside wondered if it was the guy who was telling me about this, but Rewind said he couldn't be, because he was in another city; however, said city wasn't that far away. They suggested it might be another guy, who was actually responsible...but Rewind denied it again. When they said that maybe it was her boyfriend, she said he "wouldn't do that," even though he was the mastermind behind the whole plan. Eventually, all the guests were so worried that they left, and I can't say I blame them.
Why did this story shock me? For a couple of reasons: One, if that's the way that guy was going to treat his girlfriend, I'd hate to see what he would do to his worst enemy. Even if he was upset because he couldn't spend time with her, that's no way to react; that was actually very immature, as I'm sure you'd agree. Two, that guy claimed to be a Christian, and so did Rewind...but, where is the love in that? If he was going to act that way, why did she even date him? Three, how could she believe that he wouldn't do something like that when he was the one doing it? Did he put up a facade when he was with her to make her think he was something he wasn't? Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?
By now, you're probably wondering what this has to do with any war...but it does, though not a war in the typical sense. Instead, what I'm talking about is a rather disturbing trend I've noticed: a civil war among Christians. When I was in high school and college, I was persecuted sometimes for my faith, but Jesus said that would happen (John 15:20). However, since then, even though everyone knows I'm a Christian, nobody has made fun of me for it, even after entering the workforce. While several of my co-workers admit they're not Christians, they've still shown respect for my beliefs. However, what's been going on for a long time--both back in high school and still in recent years--is persecution from other Christians. They call me out on my supposed "mistakes," say and do things just to "get my goat," badger me about doing things that I've told them repeatedly I'm simply not going to do...and that's not all of it!
It's sickening to me that I would be treated that way by my own kind. When I was a kid, I had a Spider-Man game for my original Nintendo, and my friends and I were playing the second level and were fighting what appeared to be spiders...but, my brother-in-law, who had also played the game, said, "They're rats; why would Spider-Man be fighting his own kind?" The same is true with people on the same side; when an Avenger or a Power Ranger starts attacking his/her fellow heroes, it's a sign something is wrong. Maybe an enemy shape-shifted into said hero, or maybe said hero has been put under a spell by one of the villains. However, when it comes to my fellow Christians, some of them think nothing of dissing me, and then try to excuse it; instead of giving me an apology when they know I'm upset, they justify themselves by making a lame excuse, usually that they were only joking. To me, that's no excuse at all; if I feel like I'm being persecuted, attacked, harassed, or whatever...then your "good intentions" don't matter worth a hill of beans! If someone burned your house down with good intentions, would you be happy about it? Of course not!
One longtime problem I've had with many Christians--especially ones around my age, though not all of them--is that they're too worldly. Back in 1995, dc Talk's hit album Jesus Freak came out, which revolutionized Christian music as we know it. One thing it did was turn the term "Jesus freak" from an insult to a compliment, partly because one definition of "freak" is "ardent enthusiast," and Christians should be ardently enthused about their Savior. However, it also has another meaning: "One that is markedly unusual or abnormal." Christians should be that, too; 1 Peter 2:9 (KJV) calls us "a peculiar people," and that's just what we are. We're not supposed to do the same things everybody else does; we're supposed to be different. Of course, that's always come easy to me, because I'd be different even if I weren't raised in a Christian home; still, Jesus calls us to a higher standard than that of the world. However, too many people who claim Jesus as their Savior will nonetheless do anything the rest of the world does without another thought, which is why the world considers them one of their own. Seriously, if the world doesn't think you're any different from them, you're not doing it right.
I think everyone reading this is familiar with commandments such as, "Love your neighbor as yourself," "Let all that you do be done in love," or, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Those are so simple to understand, kids in elementary school Bible classes learn them...but, too many people well beyond that age flagrantly violate them without another thought. They think that they have the right to do it, not realizing that they will have to account for everything they say or do on Judgment Day (Matthew 12:36). Even after they do and say such terrible things, they feel no remorse, failing to realize that an unrepentant heart will cause God's wrath (Romans 2:5).
Speaking of love: When I was a kid, I often heard it said in Bible classes, "You have to love everyone, but you don't have to like them." Of course, all of us have people who rub us the wrong way; maybe, for you, I am one of those people. However, we have to treat those we come into contact with with respect, even if we think they're "weird" or "annoying". Unfortunately, some people who consider themselves Christians flagrantly show they don't like me by the way they treat me, such as walking away from me when I'm talking to them...which is not what Jesus would do. Seriously, do people think that our Savior hung on a cross so we could be jerks to one another? That kind of behavior would make Jesus overturn some tables!
Longtime readers of my blog likely know the story of Sparky, the dog we got in 2002 that I despised from day one. I'll admit that I do regret that now, but, one thing that always sticks in my mind is what my mom and at least one other person used to tell me: "That dog never did anything to you!" It's true; he didn't...but, I loathed him anyway, and was ready to jump for joy when my mom had no choice but to take him back to the S.P.C.A., like I had said we needed to do from the beginning. It actually disturbs me greatly that I treated such an innocent animal in such a way...but, now I know how Sparky felt, because people do the same thing to me, even when I've meant them absolutely no harm. In my nine years on Facebook, I've been unfriended or had my friend requests staunchly denied countless times and for various reasons, many of them unknown to me; the problem was that many of the people responsible were Christians, some of whom I met behind the doors of my church! Mutual friends of those people and others have tried to excuse their actions, but, I counter with the words of Jesus in Luke 9:50: "Whoever is not against you is for you." So, if I mean fellow Christians absolutely no harm, which is always the case...why is it okay for them to condemn our friendship before it even starts? Isn't that a sign of a bad attitude? I say it is...but it still happens far too often.
A year or two ago, I was in a class on the Abrahamic faiths: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. The teacher--a younger guy, and very good with technology--supplemented his lessons with YouTube videos, which he showed via projector. He told us that while looking for material for the class, he did searches for "I am a Jew" and "I am a Muslim," and found all kinds of videos of people from said faiths explaining why they believe what they believe and such...but, when he typed in, "I am a Christian," he found one video after another with titles such as, "Why I Am No Longer a Christian," or, "Why I Am Ashamed to Be a Christian". For some people, hearing that may be rather alarming...but, honestly, I'm not surprised. When people who claim Jesus as their Savior bicker and fight and overall act like jerks, of course we're going to be criticized...because everybody knows that isn't what Christ would do. If people of the Way don't shape up soon, our faith could end up extinct.
Everybody has roles in life. I'm not talking about high school stereotypes, like the jocks, the cheerleaders, and the geeks; I'm talking about positions that one holds, such as a job--teacher, doctor, police officer, etc.--or even a familial or role: parent, grandparent, older sibling, best friend, and the like. When working with people in such positions, I expect them to act like they should in such a position...and it's very frustrating when they don't. My mom and I were rather aggravated with a psychiatrist I used to see because of his lack of compassion, even after hearing of my sister's death. Even when it comes to TV characters, I was never a big fan of Carey, the mom on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, because she didn't behave much like I would expect a mom on such a show to most of the time.
I mention that for one reason: When working with Christians, especially Christian adults, I expect them to behave according to their faith. Of course, Christian teenagers are still teenagers, which means they're very immature; still, most of the Christians I currently interact with are at least young adults, which means it's time to put such behaviors away for good. That doesn't always happen, though; if you went to my old church, you may have seen or heard about the incident where a young adult threw a milkshake at someone. In the years since, it's even been talked about on Facebook; when someone brought it up in a comment on a status from the wife of the guy responsible, she said, "He will never live that down!" While some people might laugh about it now, that doesn't change the fact that it was sin, and I can imagine God wasn't too happy with that guy when it happened. More to the point: I was raised in the church, so, I've spent my whole life hearing about Christian values: love, compassion, kindness, etc. The problem is: That's not what I'm seeing from other Christians; instead, I'm seeing far too much hatefulness and just flat-out being jerks. That's not what Jesus would want, but, nobody else seems to realize that.
I've used this story as an analogy before, but, now I'm using it for a different purpose: During summer of 2004, I was essentially forced to take an Outdoor P.E. class against my will. I had wanted to take Chemistry instead, but, the lead special education teacher lied to me and said that it wasn't available. While I was in the gym class, I was complaining about what we had to do, and the teacher was reprimanding me, saying, "You signed up for this class..." When I tried to tell her that I hadn't willingly agreed to take it, I don't think she believed me. The same thing happened when I was in Boy Scouting; after several months of suffering through that program, I eventually had enough and wanted to leave the troop for good...but, I was stopped by someone who said, "You said you were going to do it, so, you have to give the troop a year!" What he didn't seem to understand was: The only reason I said I was going to do it was because someone manipulated me into doing so, despite the fact that he/she actually had no right to. In both cases, it was wrong to say it was my choice...because, if I'd had my way, I wouldn't have been part of those programs.
Here's why I mention that: As Christians, we don't have that excuse. Regardless of how you believe one becomes a Christian, I think we can agree that it's a choice; you don't just wake up one morning and find a note on your bedside table saying, "Congratulations on becoming a Christian!" If you chose to become a Christian, then, you agreed to either live by the commandments found within the Bible or face the consequences. Of course, grace is part of this; nobody lives a sinless life, even after becoming a Christian...but, as I mentioned before, Romans 2:5 says that your heart must be repentant, or else you'll face God's wrath. Instead of getting apologies from the people responsible or their friends, though, almost all I've gotten is staunch defense and condoning of such behavior. I know that we Christians can do better than this...but, the question is, will we?
Now, for my conclusion: If I sent you a link to this, don't think that I'm pointing the finger at you, because you likely aren't guilty of what I'm talking about. Most of you reading this already know all of this, and feel the same way I do. That's great...but, the people who really need to read this are the ones who would rather sit through an episode of Barney and Friends than bother to listen to anything I have to say. It reminds me of a lyric from one of my favorite songs from when I was younger: "I'm singin' you little boys and girls spoofs; all you do is ignore me, though I have been sent here to inform you!" I could get up in front of my entire church and preach this same message, but, it probably wouldn't do any good; the guilty parties would tune me out, and probably wouldn't even show up on Sunday morning if they knew I was the one preaching the sermon. It's so frustrating to me that it makes me want to exclaim the Italian phrase, "E buona notte al secchio!" Literally translated, it means, "And good night to the pail!"; figuratively translated, it means, "That's that; there's nothing more I can do!" Most of my fellow Christians seem to have gone to sleep on this matter...which is exactly why I'm hot about it. If we want our faith to survive, we have to stop destroying ourselves from within.
Way back in early 2007, I heard a story about a then-friend, referred to in previous posts as "Rewind," that kind of shocked me...but not for the reasons you may think. While home from college, Rewind had a party at her house that was only for the girls--why, I'm not exactly sure--which meant her then-boyfriend wasn't invited. He did know about it, though, and proceeded to ruin it for everyone involved; he got together with two guys--one of whom was the one who told me this--and went to Rewind's neighborhood, parked at a neighbor's house, and proceeded to "knock on the door like madmen," according to the guy who told me of the incident. At first, the girls inside wondered if it was the guy who was telling me about this, but Rewind said he couldn't be, because he was in another city; however, said city wasn't that far away. They suggested it might be another guy, who was actually responsible...but Rewind denied it again. When they said that maybe it was her boyfriend, she said he "wouldn't do that," even though he was the mastermind behind the whole plan. Eventually, all the guests were so worried that they left, and I can't say I blame them.
Why did this story shock me? For a couple of reasons: One, if that's the way that guy was going to treat his girlfriend, I'd hate to see what he would do to his worst enemy. Even if he was upset because he couldn't spend time with her, that's no way to react; that was actually very immature, as I'm sure you'd agree. Two, that guy claimed to be a Christian, and so did Rewind...but, where is the love in that? If he was going to act that way, why did she even date him? Three, how could she believe that he wouldn't do something like that when he was the one doing it? Did he put up a facade when he was with her to make her think he was something he wasn't? Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?
By now, you're probably wondering what this has to do with any war...but it does, though not a war in the typical sense. Instead, what I'm talking about is a rather disturbing trend I've noticed: a civil war among Christians. When I was in high school and college, I was persecuted sometimes for my faith, but Jesus said that would happen (John 15:20). However, since then, even though everyone knows I'm a Christian, nobody has made fun of me for it, even after entering the workforce. While several of my co-workers admit they're not Christians, they've still shown respect for my beliefs. However, what's been going on for a long time--both back in high school and still in recent years--is persecution from other Christians. They call me out on my supposed "mistakes," say and do things just to "get my goat," badger me about doing things that I've told them repeatedly I'm simply not going to do...and that's not all of it!
It's sickening to me that I would be treated that way by my own kind. When I was a kid, I had a Spider-Man game for my original Nintendo, and my friends and I were playing the second level and were fighting what appeared to be spiders...but, my brother-in-law, who had also played the game, said, "They're rats; why would Spider-Man be fighting his own kind?" The same is true with people on the same side; when an Avenger or a Power Ranger starts attacking his/her fellow heroes, it's a sign something is wrong. Maybe an enemy shape-shifted into said hero, or maybe said hero has been put under a spell by one of the villains. However, when it comes to my fellow Christians, some of them think nothing of dissing me, and then try to excuse it; instead of giving me an apology when they know I'm upset, they justify themselves by making a lame excuse, usually that they were only joking. To me, that's no excuse at all; if I feel like I'm being persecuted, attacked, harassed, or whatever...then your "good intentions" don't matter worth a hill of beans! If someone burned your house down with good intentions, would you be happy about it? Of course not!
One longtime problem I've had with many Christians--especially ones around my age, though not all of them--is that they're too worldly. Back in 1995, dc Talk's hit album Jesus Freak came out, which revolutionized Christian music as we know it. One thing it did was turn the term "Jesus freak" from an insult to a compliment, partly because one definition of "freak" is "ardent enthusiast," and Christians should be ardently enthused about their Savior. However, it also has another meaning: "One that is markedly unusual or abnormal." Christians should be that, too; 1 Peter 2:9 (KJV) calls us "a peculiar people," and that's just what we are. We're not supposed to do the same things everybody else does; we're supposed to be different. Of course, that's always come easy to me, because I'd be different even if I weren't raised in a Christian home; still, Jesus calls us to a higher standard than that of the world. However, too many people who claim Jesus as their Savior will nonetheless do anything the rest of the world does without another thought, which is why the world considers them one of their own. Seriously, if the world doesn't think you're any different from them, you're not doing it right.
I think everyone reading this is familiar with commandments such as, "Love your neighbor as yourself," "Let all that you do be done in love," or, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Those are so simple to understand, kids in elementary school Bible classes learn them...but, too many people well beyond that age flagrantly violate them without another thought. They think that they have the right to do it, not realizing that they will have to account for everything they say or do on Judgment Day (Matthew 12:36). Even after they do and say such terrible things, they feel no remorse, failing to realize that an unrepentant heart will cause God's wrath (Romans 2:5).
Speaking of love: When I was a kid, I often heard it said in Bible classes, "You have to love everyone, but you don't have to like them." Of course, all of us have people who rub us the wrong way; maybe, for you, I am one of those people. However, we have to treat those we come into contact with with respect, even if we think they're "weird" or "annoying". Unfortunately, some people who consider themselves Christians flagrantly show they don't like me by the way they treat me, such as walking away from me when I'm talking to them...which is not what Jesus would do. Seriously, do people think that our Savior hung on a cross so we could be jerks to one another? That kind of behavior would make Jesus overturn some tables!
Longtime readers of my blog likely know the story of Sparky, the dog we got in 2002 that I despised from day one. I'll admit that I do regret that now, but, one thing that always sticks in my mind is what my mom and at least one other person used to tell me: "That dog never did anything to you!" It's true; he didn't...but, I loathed him anyway, and was ready to jump for joy when my mom had no choice but to take him back to the S.P.C.A., like I had said we needed to do from the beginning. It actually disturbs me greatly that I treated such an innocent animal in such a way...but, now I know how Sparky felt, because people do the same thing to me, even when I've meant them absolutely no harm. In my nine years on Facebook, I've been unfriended or had my friend requests staunchly denied countless times and for various reasons, many of them unknown to me; the problem was that many of the people responsible were Christians, some of whom I met behind the doors of my church! Mutual friends of those people and others have tried to excuse their actions, but, I counter with the words of Jesus in Luke 9:50: "Whoever is not against you is for you." So, if I mean fellow Christians absolutely no harm, which is always the case...why is it okay for them to condemn our friendship before it even starts? Isn't that a sign of a bad attitude? I say it is...but it still happens far too often.
A year or two ago, I was in a class on the Abrahamic faiths: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. The teacher--a younger guy, and very good with technology--supplemented his lessons with YouTube videos, which he showed via projector. He told us that while looking for material for the class, he did searches for "I am a Jew" and "I am a Muslim," and found all kinds of videos of people from said faiths explaining why they believe what they believe and such...but, when he typed in, "I am a Christian," he found one video after another with titles such as, "Why I Am No Longer a Christian," or, "Why I Am Ashamed to Be a Christian". For some people, hearing that may be rather alarming...but, honestly, I'm not surprised. When people who claim Jesus as their Savior bicker and fight and overall act like jerks, of course we're going to be criticized...because everybody knows that isn't what Christ would do. If people of the Way don't shape up soon, our faith could end up extinct.
Everybody has roles in life. I'm not talking about high school stereotypes, like the jocks, the cheerleaders, and the geeks; I'm talking about positions that one holds, such as a job--teacher, doctor, police officer, etc.--or even a familial or role: parent, grandparent, older sibling, best friend, and the like. When working with people in such positions, I expect them to act like they should in such a position...and it's very frustrating when they don't. My mom and I were rather aggravated with a psychiatrist I used to see because of his lack of compassion, even after hearing of my sister's death. Even when it comes to TV characters, I was never a big fan of Carey, the mom on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, because she didn't behave much like I would expect a mom on such a show to most of the time.
I mention that for one reason: When working with Christians, especially Christian adults, I expect them to behave according to their faith. Of course, Christian teenagers are still teenagers, which means they're very immature; still, most of the Christians I currently interact with are at least young adults, which means it's time to put such behaviors away for good. That doesn't always happen, though; if you went to my old church, you may have seen or heard about the incident where a young adult threw a milkshake at someone. In the years since, it's even been talked about on Facebook; when someone brought it up in a comment on a status from the wife of the guy responsible, she said, "He will never live that down!" While some people might laugh about it now, that doesn't change the fact that it was sin, and I can imagine God wasn't too happy with that guy when it happened. More to the point: I was raised in the church, so, I've spent my whole life hearing about Christian values: love, compassion, kindness, etc. The problem is: That's not what I'm seeing from other Christians; instead, I'm seeing far too much hatefulness and just flat-out being jerks. That's not what Jesus would want, but, nobody else seems to realize that.
I've used this story as an analogy before, but, now I'm using it for a different purpose: During summer of 2004, I was essentially forced to take an Outdoor P.E. class against my will. I had wanted to take Chemistry instead, but, the lead special education teacher lied to me and said that it wasn't available. While I was in the gym class, I was complaining about what we had to do, and the teacher was reprimanding me, saying, "You signed up for this class..." When I tried to tell her that I hadn't willingly agreed to take it, I don't think she believed me. The same thing happened when I was in Boy Scouting; after several months of suffering through that program, I eventually had enough and wanted to leave the troop for good...but, I was stopped by someone who said, "You said you were going to do it, so, you have to give the troop a year!" What he didn't seem to understand was: The only reason I said I was going to do it was because someone manipulated me into doing so, despite the fact that he/she actually had no right to. In both cases, it was wrong to say it was my choice...because, if I'd had my way, I wouldn't have been part of those programs.
Here's why I mention that: As Christians, we don't have that excuse. Regardless of how you believe one becomes a Christian, I think we can agree that it's a choice; you don't just wake up one morning and find a note on your bedside table saying, "Congratulations on becoming a Christian!" If you chose to become a Christian, then, you agreed to either live by the commandments found within the Bible or face the consequences. Of course, grace is part of this; nobody lives a sinless life, even after becoming a Christian...but, as I mentioned before, Romans 2:5 says that your heart must be repentant, or else you'll face God's wrath. Instead of getting apologies from the people responsible or their friends, though, almost all I've gotten is staunch defense and condoning of such behavior. I know that we Christians can do better than this...but, the question is, will we?
Now, for my conclusion: If I sent you a link to this, don't think that I'm pointing the finger at you, because you likely aren't guilty of what I'm talking about. Most of you reading this already know all of this, and feel the same way I do. That's great...but, the people who really need to read this are the ones who would rather sit through an episode of Barney and Friends than bother to listen to anything I have to say. It reminds me of a lyric from one of my favorite songs from when I was younger: "I'm singin' you little boys and girls spoofs; all you do is ignore me, though I have been sent here to inform you!" I could get up in front of my entire church and preach this same message, but, it probably wouldn't do any good; the guilty parties would tune me out, and probably wouldn't even show up on Sunday morning if they knew I was the one preaching the sermon. It's so frustrating to me that it makes me want to exclaim the Italian phrase, "E buona notte al secchio!" Literally translated, it means, "And good night to the pail!"; figuratively translated, it means, "That's that; there's nothing more I can do!" Most of my fellow Christians seem to have gone to sleep on this matter...which is exactly why I'm hot about it. If we want our faith to survive, we have to stop destroying ourselves from within.
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