Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Should They Stay Or Should They Go?

To the tune of "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?" by the Clash

People, you've got to let me know:
Should they stay or should they go?
Some say my crush on them is fine
Others say it's just a waste of time
So, you've got to let me know:
Should they stay or should they go?
Some peeps say, "Please, please, please!
Just shut up 'bout the celebrities!"
But others don't say anything like that
Instead, the pictures they attract
Well, come on, and let me know:
Should they stay or should they go?

Should they stay or should they go, now? (2x)
If they go, I'll be in trouble
But, if they don't, I'm seen as evil
So, come on and let me know!

Oh, man, this folder is elite
(Anne Hathaway and Ashley Tisdale)
These celeb pictures just can't be beat
(Roberts, Emma and Smithson, Carly)
So what if they've never met me?
(Siobhan Magnus and Kelly Clarkson)
I don't even expect them to ever date me!
(Amy Adams, Janell Wheeler)
Come on and let me know:
(Allison Scagliotti-Smith)
Should I keep them or let them go?
(Selena Gomez, Genevieve Gorder)

(Evan Rachel Wood, Danielle Panabaker)
That's what's up!
*bird sounds*

Should they stay or should they go, now?
(Scarlett Pomers, Demi Lovato)
Should they stay or should they go, now?
(Katie Stevens, Emily Osment)
If they go, I'll be in trouble
(Krystal Meyers, Annie van der Pol)
But, if they stay, I'm seen as evil
(Clemence Poesy and Emma Watson)
So, come on and let me know:
(Anna Paquin, Katija Pevec)
Should I keep them or let them go?
(Lonni Paul, Crystal Bowersox)

Should they stay or should they go, now?
(Amber Tamblyn, Zooey Deschanel)
Should they stay or should they go, now?
(Rebecca St. James, Aly Michalka)
If they go, I'll be in trouble
(Famke Janssen, Frances O'Connor)
But, if they stay, I'm seen as evil
(Victoria Justice and Lea Michele)
So, come on and let me know:
(Traylor Howard and Sabrina Soto)
Should they stay or should they go?

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Trivial vs. Serious/Friends and Unfriending

I know those are two completely separate topics, but they've both been on my mind quite a bit recently. Before I start, I'm going to warn you that, although I'm not going to name names, you might find yourself mentioned in this post, and you might not like what I have to say. I'm going to try to refrain from turning this into an angry tirade against anyone, friend or not, but parts of the issues I'm going to talk about are things I take very seriously, even though some people think I shouldn't. Still with me? Then, here we go.
First off, on the "Trivial vs. Serious" post. If you're my Facebook friend, then you can see on my profile the things I've posted lately. There's been everything from song lyrics to quotations from Madeleine L'Engle and J.R.R. Tolkien to reviews of books using LivingSocial to a joke status about killing Barney to a status of nothing but palindromes to four links to this site, two of which were to parodies. Now, I have gotten comments on some of those things. I understand not getting comments on my book reviews; some of my friends rarely if ever read, and most of those who do read even just some of the time aren't really into the whole sci-fi/fantasy/superhero genre, which is fine. However, there have been some posts--statuses and other things--that I thought were much more deserving of comments than the things that actually did. For example, look at this status message I posted not too long ago:

: I'm weird, I'm different, I'm strange, I'm unique, I'm a little crazy and I'm sensitive...and I'm PROUD OF IT!

That was posted for no other reason than an attempt to feel good about myself. After all, countless people, even before Facebook, were telling me things like, "Stop being so self-deprecating!," "Stop putting yourself down!," or "You should have more confidence!" I would guess that my posts about my low self-esteem were what caused some people to remove and/or block me on Facebook. Yet, despite all that, when I make a post that says I'm proud of my differences, it doesn't even get a single comment or even a "like."
Can't you understand how that makes me feel? Based on that, it seems like you all think I should continue to lament about how worthless I am, instead of trying to feel good about myself. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but, when a status message of palindromes gets ten comments, yet a declaration of confidence doesn't elicit a single response, it makes me feel horrible.
Now, I'm not saying that everyone on Facebook--me and all my friends included--should never post anything silly and/or trivial on their pages. Still, I don't want to be silly all the time. Seriously, do you want to have a Facebook friend like Larry the Cucumber? I don't mind making a joke from time to time, but, there are serious things that are, in my opinion, just as deserving of recognition, if not more so. If you're stymied as to what I'm talking about in a post, then, by all means, ask me about it; people have done that before, and I was more than happy to explain. I don't expect all my posts, serious or not, to get a boatload of comments, but, I do expect some recognition for something that people have been asking of me since before I'd even heard of Facebook.
Just so you will know: My dislike of a lack of comments on what I post isn't just because I want attention. It's because, any time I post something other than a review, and don't get a response of any kind, it makes me feel like I've done something wrong. That feeling is not unfounded; in fact, it has a story behind it: Back in early 2007, I posted a note on Facebook asking my friends, who were pretty much all college-age, if they wanted to do something during the summer. When it came to possible activities, I didn't say what we could do; I said all the things we couldn't do. I never got a reply, but, I just figured no one looked at it, which, although I didn't like that, I didn't sit there and lament over it. Then, the next year, I did the same exact thing, and at least two friends said they were offended. I was shocked! Why didn't anyone tell me that when I'd posted essentially the same thing a year before? Ever since then, when nobody comments on a status, blog post, or note, I feel like I've done something wrong. Maybe I shouldn't feel that way, but, I do, because that story is exactly what I think of when no one comments on my non-review posts.
On to the second topic: Friends and unfriending. I think most people on Facebook have been unfriended by someone. There are various reasons why: repeated invites to dumb apps, annoying/disturbing/etc. posts, or even someone you just haven't talked to in a while, among others. I can see why people do that, although, the reasons I named haven't been that big of a problem for me, especially the first one.
Now, let me say this as clearly as I can: I am not jealous of anyone's friend total. Frankly, whether you have five hundred or over 1,500 friends, it doesn't bother me. Why does unfriending bother me, then? Because of its implication that a friendship has ended.
You may think that this is something that Facebook started, but it isn't. Even if I'd never joined any sort of social networking site, there are still broken friendships that I'd lament about. I can still remember old childhood friends (Robert M., Ben C., Cody D., Korrey and Kevin D., etc.) that I have heard absolutely nothing from in years. For all I know, they might not even be living in the same hemisphere as me. I don't sit there and dwell on it, but, sometimes, I get reminded of them because of things that I see, hear, or read. All it takes is a brief mention of Jumpman, tether ball, hypnotism, PlayStation or other things relating to one or more of those friends, and it makes me start thinking, "I wonder what happened to him [or them]?"
Here's the thing: Even though losing contact over time with friends isn't fun, being unfriended on Facebook is, in my opinion, much worse. Why, you ask? Well, two people losing contact usually isn't a sign of any personal issues between the two; but, when someone unfriends someone else on Facebook, it often--though, as I realize, not always--means the person being unfriended has done something wrong in the other person's eyes. I've seen that very thing happen to me on Facebook more than once.
I know some of you have said that I shouldn't even care about the people that have unfriended me. However, the reason I care is simply this: What did I do wrong, and how can I keep from doing the same thing again so I won't lose any more friends? There are some types of posts that I don't do anymore, because I know that they offended people, whether they removed me or not. I don't like losing friends; I never have.
Any comments?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Favorite TV, Movie and Literary Moments

You all probably know that I love entertainment, especially TV, movies and books. So, now, I present some of my favorite snippets of dialogue and/or narration from things I've seen or read. Read these and see if you don't laugh.

Maxwell Smart: Chief, I have to say this whole thing really stems my plans. I can not get over the fact that 23 is a traitor.
Chief: Sand trap!
[they crash through a sand trap]
Maxwell Smart: Now I know how you must have felt when you thought I was a traitor, it is demoralizing!
Chief: Tractor!
[they crash over a tractor]
Maxwell Smart: Argh, I don't know how I missed it, I am usually very observant.
[they crash right into a swordfish]
Maxwell Smart: [car comes to a stop] Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking, "Holy cow, holy cow, a swordfish almost went through my head"? If so, then yes.
-- Get Smart (2008)

If something goes wrong with an e-mail you send, you'll get an e-mail from MAILER-DAEMON@aol.com (which sounds like a character from Tron Meets the Exorcist.)
-- An old America Online for Dummies book I used to have

Brad: I got detention.
Jill: How could you get detention?!
Brad: Everybody gets detention sometime!
Jill: It's the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! No one ever gets detention on the first day of school!
Tim: I wouldn't say, "No one," honey.
-- Home Improvement

Bill Gaither: How stupid can you get, Mark?
Mark Lowry: You ain't seen nothin' yet!
-- I Do Believe music video

[Celebrities are trying to imitate Colin Mochrie]
Kermit the Frog: No, no, no; this is Colin. [goes behind "square," then comes back up with his face flattened]
[audience laughs like crazy]
Tom Bergeron: He's the Jim Carrey of felt!

Jiminy Glick: [to Martin Mull] You know, I just loved you in Adam-12.
[awkward silence]
Tom Bergeron: Wasn't that Martin Milner?
Jiminy Glick: Oh, yeah. He was good.
-- Hollywood Squares (1998-2004)

[Chelsea and Eddie watch as some psychic friends Raven has made are moving objects with their minds]
Eddie: Whoa! Chelsea, did you see that?
Chelsea: Yeah, I know. Gosh, that was a lot of pepper.
Eddie: Chelsea, that thing floated!
Chelsea: Yeah, it's still way too much pepper.
-- That's So Raven

When Jacob heard that grain was available in Egypt, he said to his sons, “Why are you standing around looking at one another?"
-- Genesis 42:1 (NLT)

-- Garfield (obviously ;])

[Elisha, during a creation/evolution debate] turned in her desk and glared at him. "Those bones support the muscles that keep you from pooping in your pants, in case you didn't know! But if you think you don't need yours..." She groped in her handbag and pulled out her wallet. "I will gladly pay for you to have yours removed!"
-- Hangman's Curse by Frank Peretti

Mr. Lunt: [to Pa and Larry, while Junior is sitting nearby] You know, those lobsters there remind me of my Aunt Tanya. You'll never believe this, but my Aunt Tanya was a lobster!
Pa Grape: Yea, right.
Mr. Lunt: I'm serious! Whenever she fell asleep, we used to pull at her tendons and make her legs move.
Pa Grape: Surrre.
Mr. Lunt: No, really! We tried it at the church picnic once, and we actually got her walking across the table!
Junior: What?!!
Mr. Lunt: Hey! They told me to ad-lib! If there's no script, you take what you can get, my friend!
Pa Grape: True, but you gotta admit: that was odd.
-- Outtakes from Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie

"That camera makes me look fat! I'm not really that fat!"
-- A former local celebrity (who will remain nameless) in the middle of her weather forecast

Mrs. Bitterman: Since you're here, I'd like you to fix my desk.
Assistant: Fix your desk.
Mrs. Bitterman: And, while you're at it, you can oil my chair for me.
Assistant: Oil your chair.
Mrs. Bitterman: You know, not everything is an innuendo!
Assistant: Innuendo.
-- It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie

Cruella: Congratulations! You have just won gold, silver and bronze in the Moron Olympics!
Horace: Who won the gold?
Cruella: SHUT UP!
-- 101 Dalmatians (1996 live-action film)

Ayel: Your species is even weaker than I expected...
[chokes Kirk]
Ayel: You can't even speak!
[Kirk garbles]
Ayel: What?
James T. Kirk: I've got your gun!
[shoots Ayel]
-- Star Trek (2009)

Captain James T. Kirk: I can't believe I kissed you!
Martia: [transformed into Kirk] Must have been your lifelong ambition!
-- Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

"I be the Teletubby, wubby, wubby, stinkfish! Uh, that one white dude, uh...what was the question? Wuuuuuuuuuu-Taaaaaang!"
-- A fake quotation from rap star ODB in a joke article about a Game Informer staff member running for President

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Advertising and the General Public

It's been said often--at least, from what I've read--that the amount of advertising is on the increase. Not only do you see it during TV commercial breaks or on billboards, but you also see it on websites, at the movies, sometimes even in the form of "product placement" during the movie, and even in video games. It seems like you really can't go anywhere or do anything without seeing some sort of advertisement.
Now, here's the thing: I understand the purpose of advertising: to sell products. Advertising can be informative; sometimes, movie posters and trailers are the easiest way to find out a film's release date. Like a lot of things, advertising is good in moderation. However, in the past decade or so, it has just gone into overkill. Not only did the Spider-Man GameCube game (and, I'm guessing, the PS2 and X-Box versions of it, as well) have real-life company logos like MetLife featured in it, but, also, while I was at a library in my city today, I was looking at an issue of Teen Vogue--which is not a magazine I have ever read before, mind you, and the only reason I was looking at it was because it featured Victorious star Victoria Justice--and the first fifteen pages were nothing but advertising, and it continued after that! That is entirely too much!
Truth be told, the power of advertising is difficult to overcome. So many products advertise themselves like they're something they're not. For example, way back in 2002, I went to see the movie Snow Dogs. The previews showed the dogs talking, making the movie look like it was one of those talking animal flicks in the vein of Disney's original 101 Dalmatians, but live-action instead of a cartoon. However, the movie did not deliver that. Although the dogs did talk, the only scene that they did so in was a dream sequence that Cuba Gooding, Jr.'s character had. Outside of that, the dogs did nothing but bark like normal dogs. The movie was still cute and fun, but I've always wondered if some people, especially little kids and their parents, didn't feel cheated when they watched it. There have been other movies that I've only heard or read about--The Village and Land of the Lost currently come to mind--that also had quite misleading previews, according to my sources. Yet, because of what the previews promised, people still went to them in droves, and a good part of them ended up wishing they didn't.
I would hope that, sometime in the near future, advertising will tone down a bit. However, with ever-evolving technology, it probably won't. New technologies will just mean new ways for companies to push their products, and there isn't much that can stop them from doing it. Frankly, I've had about enough of excessive advertising. Has anyone else?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Get Off Facebook (A Message To Myself)

DISCLAIMER: I know right many people consider themselves Facebook addicts, but this is not directed at you, no matter who you are. There is only one person who this is directed at: ME. So, don't think I'm expecting you to go learn Klingon, because I'm not, though, if you want to, great! Still with me? Then, here we go.


To the tune of "The Look" by Roxette

Please, please, no more!

Got so many friends
Do you truly know 'em?
Pages for the fans,
They've really overdone it.
Wanna know my thoughts?
Get off Facebook.

The site's bringin' you down
But you're still spendin' hours
On it, despite your frown,
Your pouty little glower.
Again, here are my thoughts:
Get off Facebook.

Get off Facebook! (4x)
There are so many other things that you could do
Yet, staying on that social site is what you choose!
Like I said:
La la la la la
Get off Facebook!

Facebook is nice
When used in moderation.
But addiction's not right.
It just brings you down.
Go read a great novel.
Get off Facebook.

It's gotten out of hand.
Go jam to MC Hammer.
Watch some Nickelodeon.
Laugh at Carly and Sam.
See Tori Vega's new dance.
Get off Facebook.



Put in Spider-Man.
Or, maybe, the sequel.
Learn to ride the tram,
Or how to speak Klingon.
Your depression will stop
Without Facebook.

And you'll go:
Na na na...
Don't need Facebook!

Don't need Facebook! (4x)
I have found so many other things to do!
And being on there so much just made me blue!
And you'll go:
La la la la la
I'm off Facebook!

Chatting with friends is okay to do.
But you should not stick to it all day like glue.
So I say:
La la la la la

Na na na...
Get off Facebook!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Addendum to the Previous Post

Okay, first off: If you haven't read or don't remember the Facebook note I wrote entitled "On My Parodies," then please read it. You don't have to go on Facebook to find it; I re-posted it on here as the post before this one. Don't continue any further until you've read that post; I mean it.
So, now that you know some of my feelings about my parodies. However, I've had things I've been meaning to say for a while that I wished I put in that note. So, I decided to make an addendum. I had two points earlier today; one, I know exactly what it is, but I've forgotten the other one. It'll probably come to me in the middle of the night, long after I've shut this thing down.
So, my fourth point is: There are some parody ideas I've thought of that I'm never going to use. For quite a while, when I've heard songs randomly--on the radio, on TV, in movie soundtracks, etc.--I've thought about how I could rewrite them. I can still remember riding to a Cub Scout meeting in 2000 and hearing Smash Mouth's "Walkin' on the Sun," which I recently parodied as "You Are My Number One," an ode to the lovely and talented Anne Hathaway. Even though I wasn't much of a parody writer yet--the only written one I had to my name was one of dc Talk's "My Friend (So Long)"--all I could think of while hearing that Smash Mouth song was rewriting the lyrics to be about Mario Golf, which was my favorite Game Boy Color game at the time. The only line I remember coming up with was, "You might as well have got a hole in one," or something like that. I never did write any parodies about Mario Golf, which is a good thing, because, despite the fact that I loved it and the reviews were positive, I knew very few people who would even give it a shot, just because it was a golf game. Still, the idea was there.
Sometimes, there are ones that I think of and immediately decide not to write. There are multiple reasons why that can happen. One is because--and I'm confessing here--sometimes the idea I have is something that I shouldn't be writing in any form, whether it be parody, poem, essay, or anything else. I know I've said before that I'm not one for crude and/or suggestive humor, but, I guarantee you, if you didn't like that "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues" parody--which was deleted from this site because at least one person was offended--I've had some ideas that would send you into shock. I don't like to even think those things, but, those kinds of crude/obscene/etc. thoughts are still floating around in my mind, mainly because of the corrupt world we live in.
Another reason can be because the message I want to convey just doesn't fit the song. Could you imagine a song like "Got My Mind Set on You" (a new favorite of mine) being rewritten to talk about painful things, like failed relationships or friendships? What about an angst-y song like "Bring Me to Life" becoming an ode to a person I look up to, whether it be a teacher, a friend, or even a celebrity? Those themes don't fit the moods of the original songs, right? That train of thought has helped me understand what makes a good fit for a rewrite. One time, I remember thinking about taking Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs' "Little Red Riding Hood" and turning it into a song praising a friend of mine. I immediately realized that the mood of the original song was supposed to be creepy, and that my message wouldn't fit.
Yet another reason is that I don't want the parody to seem like a joke when it isn't. I realize that, when I gush about celebrities in parodies, there's little chance they're even going to read them. However, there are ideas I've had that I scrapped within seconds of thinking of them. For example--and you're going to laugh at this, which is exactly why I never went through with the idea--I once considered making "Bring Me to Life" into "Bring Me a Wife," which was going to be a prayer to God lamenting the fact that I've always been single, yet so many of my friends are engaged or married, and asking Him to send me a life mate now. You're probably laughing your head off at this point, and rightly so; that's why I never sat down and wrote it.
I'm about to veer a little off-topic here: I am not the only one who has had a bad idea about rewriting a song to make it your own. Some people argue that ApologetiX has had at least a few bad ideas, while others think that the whole idea of a Christian parody band is horrible. They have a right to their opinion, though I'm not sure I agree with either, despite not being a fan of the band anymore. This, though, isn't about them. If I remember right--this was a long time ago, as you'll see when I tell the story--the planners of the 2000 Democratic Party convention were planning on using the Lou Bega smash-hit "Mambo No. 5" as the theme song for the function, and were going to make it their own by substituting US states for the names of the girls, i.e., "A little bit of Montana in my life." However, they ended up not using it, because so many people, including even the commentators on TV, just thought it was going to be a big joke. Why did they think that? Simply because the original song had the lyric, "A little bit of Monica in my life," and that was only a year or two after the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal. So, don't think I'm the only one with bad musical ideas, because the planners of the 2000 Democratic Party apparently were, too.
Back on topic: One last reason--at least, it's the last one that comes to mind right now--is just because, even though the idea seems great, when I sit down to write it, I just can't make it work. Many months ago, I thought about turning "It's All About the Benjamins" into "It's All About the Facebook Friends," which would have been an ode to all the many people that make Facebook enjoyable. I sat down, began to write it, and just got so stuck that I closed the window without even saving what I'd written. A similar thing happened when I recently--that is, no more than a few weeks ago--attempted to turn the recent huge B.o.B./Hayley Williams hit "Airplanes" into a song about how I wished real life was like fiction. I had the perfect chorus: "Can we pretend that X-Wings are right outside blowing up Death Stars? I was like was like fiction now, fiction now, fiction now!" I'm sure all of you know that's a Star Wars allusion, but I also was planning on including the line, "That's why I'll never marry Maddie Fitzpatrick!" which is a reference to Ashley Tisdale's character in the Disney Channel sitcom The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Honestly, as good of ideas as those last two parodies I just mentioned sound, I really don't know if I want to try my hand at writing them again, because I'm afraid I'll just end up getting stuck after barely even starting, just like I did the first time in both cases.
Well, it is getting quite late, and I need to go to bed, so I'm going to end this. If the other idea I had comes to me, I'll write a second addendum as soon as I get time. Later!

On My Parodies (Facebook Repost)

NOTE: If you're my Facebook friend, you might have already seen this. This post is taken directly--yes, it's verbatim and unedited, except for the correction of one small punctuation mistake on my part--from a note I posted on Facebook in May. If, for whatever reason, you didn't see it or don't remember it, but you have read my parodies, then please read this, even if you are my Facebook friend. The next post will be an addendum of sorts, so look out for that. Enjoy!

I thought about making this a post on Blogspot, but I then realized that it's easier to tag people on a note. If I tagged you, don't worry; I'm not upset with you or anyone else. I just need to explain some things about my parodies.
First off: Despite them being called parodies, their intent is almost never to be funny. Some of you may already know this, but, for those who don't: I have been writing parodies since I was in middle school. My first ones were of songs by dc Talk--look them up if you don't know who they are--and were usually complaints about things in my life, or attacks on people I had problems with (not that I'm saying that was okay.) Although they may seem laughable now, especially considering that they were written by somebody who didn't even have a full understanding of what the original lyrics said, the intent was serious. I needed a way to vent about problems in my life, and that was one of the ways I did it. If you've read some of my more recent parodies, like "Love and Rejection," "Evil Things," or "You'll Never Know," you can see that I still do that from time to time. Even ones that may sound humorous, such as "You Are My Number One" or "The Siobhan Magnus Song", aren't intended to be. I've only written one parody that was supposed to be funny, and that's of a song probably few if any of you have heard.
Second off: I don't intentionally do songs that people (friends or otherwise) don't know. Most of the songs I've parodied recently have been songs that were also redone by ApologetiX, a parody band I used to adore. The band said that the songs they were parodying were popular at the time of each album's release, and that's probably true. However, they have been recording CDs since 1997, so some of the songs that were big hits then might be forgotten now. One such example is Bush's "Little Things", which I parodied not too long ago. ApologetiX redid that song on their 1997 album, which fully consisted of redone songs from that era, like "Loser," "Come out and Play," and, yes, "You Oughta Know". I've heard the original versions of those songs played on the radio in the past few years, and I've also seen people around my age refer to or recognize the songs, despite the fact that, at the time those tunes were popular, those people were probably too young to be into music. However, when I wrote my parody of "Little Things," no one I showed it to had heard the original, even people who had heard "You Oughta Know". I will admit that, when I started writing parodies in middle school, the songs I redid were usually little-known, especially to the people I went to school with. That was only because all I listened to at the time was Christian music, and I hadn't gotten into ApologetiX yet, so I didn't know any secular tunes well enough to write an entire parody of them while being at school and not having access to any music. That's been one of the things I've tried to combat in recent years. There are plenty of songs (Christian and secular) on my playlist that I could easily write new lyrics to, but I know that very few if any of my friends would even know the songs. Maybe some of you could come up with some suggestions of songs I could parody. It's up to you.
Lastly: Parodies are my version of writing music. You all probably know that I have little musical talent. I can't sing, I definitely can't dance, and I'm pretty sure that playing an instrument isn't in my future. Not only that, but the musical scale has always confused me, which is one of the reasons I didn't take band or orchestra in school. If I were to make up a tune, and write lyrics to it, chances are I'd forget how the tune went. So, instead of writing my own music, I take tunes that I hear various places and make them my own. I wouldn't mind having some of my parodies recorded, just so I could hear what they sound like, but I think that if that were to happen, it would have by now. Who knows? Maybe, one day, some people who have great musical talent will record "Love and Rejection," "The Siobhan Magnus Song," or "The Ultimate High-School Crush". Until then, though, I'll just continue writing them as a way to get my feelings out.
Any comments?

Monday, August 2, 2010

"Nobody wants to hear that!"

For those who don't know, my mom is a huge fan of Southern Gospel music, especially that of the Gaithers. She has a bunch of their albums--mostly on CD--and even a few of their videos and DVDs. I have to admit that I'm not really a fan of the music, but the comedy bits are hilarious. Although Mark Lowry may be the best known comedian from those albums/videos, there are others, like Taylor Mason. One scene from the Australian Homecoming DVD had the Gaither Vocal Band--minus Mark Lowry, who had left the GVB at that point, but has since returned--up there talking, and Bill Gaither mentions that then-fellow GVB members Guy Penrod and Russ Taff have six kids and five Grammys, respectively. David Phelps, another GVB member, starts mocking Bill--in a joking fashion, of course--saying, "Russ has got five Grammys. Guy's got six kids," two or three times, and then says, "Nobody wants to hear that!"
The comedy went on from there, but, that's not my point. Lately, I've been wondering about the things I say, whether it be in Facebook statuses or notes, on this blog, or even in person, and whether anyone wants to hear them. When thinking of things I've posted in the past, sometimes I hear David Phelps' voice in my head saying, "Nobody wants to hear that!" I have heard of at least one case where someone went on and on about essentially nothing. Some people in my old youth group mentioned a guy who was part of another youth group that went on a mission trip with them--I didn't get to go, but we don't need to get into why--who did just that. My fellow youth group members were quite bothered by him, as you'd expect.
Truth be told, whenever I write a note, blog post, or message, I have a topic in mind. Sometimes, though, after posting/sending it, I wonder whether or not anyone really cared, even if people commented. Seriously, who wants to read about my fascination with a name that some people can't even pronounce? Why would anyone care if Anne Hathaway thinks of herself as "not very pretty"? What's the point of writing a song (that is, a parody) about some failed friendship with a girl I barely knew but wanted to date anyway?
I may be wrong, but, if I were to guess, I would say the majority of my 360+ Facebook friends have hidden my feed. I can't say I blame them; I've hidden other people's feeds because of the things they talked about, sometimes for no other reason than that what they said just never interested me. Even some people who do comment on some things I post won't even read others. For example, one friend who comments quite regularly on my book reviews using the LivingSocial application on Facebook openly admits that she's never read my parodies. It's not anything against me; it may be that she might not even know the original songs, which probably doesn't make my parodies very fun to read. There are plenty of things on Facebook that I don't really pay attention to, either.
So, here's what I want to know: How can I make my writings--particularly my statuses, blog posts, and occasional notes--more interesting? I have the grammar, spelling and punctuation down pat, so all I need is something worthwhile to write about. Any suggestions?