Monday, December 12, 2011

A Truly Merry Christmas


Yesterday, I watched a movie on the Hallmark Channel called Annie Claus is Coming to Town.  It was, in many ways, a typical made-for-cable Christmas film: cute, sweet, and inoffensive.  The flick's plot: Santa Claus' daughter Annie (Maria Thayer) makes her first-ever trip outside the North Pole, and ends up in Los Angeles.  As you'd expect, she ends up making friends, finding love, and helping others.  One thing that Annie says in the movie is, "Miracles always happen at Christmas."  She says that to try to encourage the owner of a small toy shop who has been hard-up for money ever since a giant competing chain (a la Toys "R" Us) opened not too far from there. That optimistic statement proved to be correct, thanks to the work of her and her new-found friends.
Although that may just be a Hallmark Channel movie, I believe Annie's statement is true.  In fact, Christmas is all because of a miracle; the whole reason for the holiday is because of the Savior of the world coming to our lowly planet to live among us.  Even beyond that, good things can happen during the holiday season.  That's not to say everything that happens is wonderful; the "shoe bomber" incident, which happened on Christmas 2009, was quite shocking.  Still, the holidays are a very happy time, unlike any other part of the year.
Some of you long-time friends of mine may remember that, during previous Decembers, I've expressed feelings of despair, usually because of what I didn't have: a job, a relationship, a social life, friends to hang out with, etc.  That's actually nothing new; I can still remember feeling that way as far back as 1995, when I was only seven.  Still, the key difference is that I'm not feeling that this year, which, in my opinion, is a Christmas miracle.  It may be because 2011 has been a year of huge changes; between being hired by a library in October, deciding to look at others' relationships differently around the same time, and making Victoria Justice my top celebrity crush in January, things are entirely different now than they were at the end of 2010.  It actually makes me excited for 2012; who knows what great changes are waiting down the line?  I'm sure that, barring some sudden tragedy between now and then, I'm going to have a truly Merry Christmas this year, the likes of which I haven't seen in a very long time, if I ever have.  That's truly something to be thankful for, and I think that's the way the true reason for the season would want it.
Any comments?

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Christmas Fantasy: 2011 Edition

NOTE: If you haven't heard the original, check out this link. Enjoy!

CHRISTMAS FANTASY: 2011 EDITION
To the tune of "All I Want is Everything" by Victoria Justice

It's the Eve of Christmas, the big day's almost here
I made my folks a list of things I want this year
But what I'd truly like
Is something they can't get 'cause
All I want (3x)
Is you, Tori

Yeah, I've got books by the dozens!
DVDs? Plenty of 'em!
Got gadgets made by Steve Jobs, R.I.P.
But, there is still something I am lacking!
All I want is you, Tori,
Under my tree, and that will be enough!
The girls I know just do not match with me!
So, I know you're "the one"!
As long as you are mine,
Everything will end up all right!
All I want is you, Tori,
Under my tree, yeah!
Whoa!

My alarm's gone off!
Yes, Christmas Day has come!
Walk into the living room, when,
I get a big bear hug!
I don't believe my eyes!
Santa must have heard me, 'cause
There Vic is (3x)
Right next to me!

Said, "We can dance, if you wanna!
Or, we can watch Harry Potter!
Use your iPad by Steve Jobs, R.I.P.!
'Cause you can spend all day with me!"
Spendin' Christmas with Miss Tori!
Lots of laughing; it just is so much fun!
Never thought her I would meet,
But Santa dropped her under my tree!
Best gift I ever got!
Boy, will my sister be surprised
When she sees who I brought to dinner tonight!
Tori made my Christmas happy, 'cause she's so sweet, yeah!
Whoa, oh!

"Must leave," she's saying!
"There's filming I must do!
But, I've got something
In this small box for you!
I will call you!
Wait 'till then to open it up!"
Whoa, oh, oh...

Thought she'd never be mine,
'Till I opened it up, 'cause
In that box (3x)
Was a big ring!

She said, "Yes, I know it's not normal
For the girl to be proposing,
But I know tradition you like breaking!
So, sweetheart, will you marry me?"
So, now, I'm getting married; I'm so happy!
That one gift was enough!
I never thought meeting a celebrity
Would ever this way end up!
Yes, I made Tori mine!
My Facebook friends poured on the likes!
This year has come to a great ending!
Can't stop smiling!
Whoa, oh!



[For Victoria.  May you and I meet one day.]

Warm Googly Feeling

NOTE: If you haven't heard the original, check out this link. Enjoy!

WARM GOOGLY FEELING
To the tune of "Warm Fuzzy Feeling" by Fastball

I got a warm, googly feelin'
When I saw you on TV
It'd been forever since you I'd seen
Yeah, it broke my heart; you I talked about
And they were unimpressed
It seems to me the whole thing they don't get!
Turned on my TV
Wanted to see my girlfriend
After that music video
I knew that my heart you had stole
'Cause with you up there, your smiling face
Just tells me that I do not need a date
You wouldn't break my heart
But other women choose to just leave me out on a lark
A girlfriend isn't something found through retail!
Can't shop for one at Walgreens or K-Mart!
They know I'm your biggest fan,
So, I've claimed you as mine!
Dear Santa, I'd like
Tori under my tree; yes, that's right!
I know everyone sees your visage in countless places!
I am just one in a crowd!
You have fans in the millions now!
But, I do not care what anyone else says!
You're the one I want!
You replaced Anne as my number one,
And, it takes quite a lot to be my number one!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

It Loses Something in the Translation

Although I'm not much of a gamer anymore, I still occasionally flip through video game magazines such as Nintendo Power or Game Informer when I get the chance.  Since I used to be a big-time Nintendo fan, reading about the latest Mario or Zelda adventure, even if I have no intention of playing it, is very similar to an update from a friend I haven't heard from or seen in years.  Anyway, several months ago, one issue of Game Informer I got my hands on had a full-page ad for a Wii game based on the movie Beastly.  Those of you who have seen or heard about the aforementioned flick probably immediately realized that such a film wouldn't make for much of a video game, and I felt the same way when I saw it.  Still, my curiosity was piqued, so, just for giggles, I went online to do a little research on the game.  I was only able to find one review, which said pretty much what I expected it to say.  You can click the link if you want to read the whole thing, but the first paragraph sums it up pretty well:
Some properties don't translate very well into video games, no matter how enjoyable they are in the original format. The movie "Titanic," for example, may be considered a modern classic by some, but very few fans would even entertain the notion that the romantic tale of Jack and Rose could be good material for an interactive endeavor. People still want to try the seemingly impossible and make a video game out of any and every hot property on the market. Such is the case with Beastly, which is a modern retelling of the classic Beauty and the Beast story; it was critically acclaimed as a book and was just turned into a major motion picture. Storm City Games and Visual Impact decided to make a video game tie-in on the Nintendo Wii. Unfortunately, they proved that some things can't ever be translated into video game form.
There are countless other examples in the entertainment world.  I still remember watching a patriotic concert on one Memorial Day or Independence Day when I was a kid where this guy droned out a horrible rendition of "The Age of Aquarius" from the musical Hair.  Not only did it sound quite dull, but "Aquarius" is supposed to be a group number, not a solo.  That cover still haunts me to this day; rarely do I hear the original or any other version without thinking of it. Some movies, such as Super Mario Bros. or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, were largely hated because the original media they were based on (a Nintendo game and a British book, respectively) just didn't work in cinematic form.  The former movie was so terrible that Nintendo Power, on a timeline of the red-clad plumber's history, said this about it: "Yes, it happened. Let us speak no more of it."  The latter flick was a dud just because Douglas Adams' humorous narration, the main appeal of the novel, was largely impossible to put into a movie.
Why do I bring all that up? It's not just to discuss media going from one form to the other; instead, it's because I've noticed that much of what I say and do doesn't seem to translate very well to others.  People often wonder why I do...well, pretty much anything I do.  They don't seem to get why I'm not doing the "normal" thing that they think I should be doing.
I've used this analogy before, but it's worth repeating: Most of you who know me know that my oldest sister, who died in 2005, was severely disabled and unable to do much of anything.  Having an immediate family member like her put my mom, my other sister, and I into a strange situation that most people were at a loss to understand.  However, that didn't stop many folks from making suggestions that, although usually well-meaning, just wouldn't work.  One "friend" of my mom's saw fit to spend at least thirty minutes haranguing my poor mother just because she (that is, my mom) taught my other sister how to change my oldest sister's diaper, but wouldn't even begin to let me do it.  That "friend" even accused my mom of treating her kids unfairly and being sexist in the process.  It turned out that the half-hour lambasting session was nothing but a waste of breath; my mom never did let me change my oldest sister's diaper.  Frankly, I don't see what right that "friend" had to say anything about the matter; it wasn't even her decision to make, nor did it affect her one way or the other.
The same could be said of me and certain things I do, such as being an outspoken Victoria Justice fan, watching Disney Channel Original Movies, or reading romance novels: People, for whatever reason, see fit to tell me why I shouldn't be doing those things.  They tell me that it isn't masculine; they ask what my guy friends would think if they knew I was doing it; and they probably wonder why I can't be like the other guys they know: watching sports, working with tools, drooling over cars, etc.  There's one problem with their argument, though: It's not up to them.  Unless the one(s) who has/have problems with what I'm doing are my parent(s) and/or God--and that is almost never the case--then their opinions, frankly, don't matter.
I will end by saying this: I have my reasons for liking the things I do and do not.  One such reason I'm such a devotee to certain celebrities and/or TV shows is because they help keep me grounded.  Pretty much everyone reading this already knows about last year's Love and Other Drugs incident, but what you probably don't know was that I spent most of the first two or three months of my freshman year of high school in a snit, only because Growing Pains, which was pretty much my only favorite show at the time, had been removed from ABC Family's weekday line-up.  That may sound like "small potatoes," but, without a show to love, I was lost; that 80's sitcom helped keep me sane.  Without it, I was ready to throw my television set in the trash, and that unhappiness was shown in other aspects of my life as well.  Thankfully, someone I knew introduced me to Lizzie McGuire, and we all know what happened after that.  My point is simply this: No matter your opinion of Vic, Jen, and friends, I can almost guarantee you that I wouldn't have very many friends if it weren't for them.  You can sit there and decry the whole thing until you're blue in the face, but it won't make any difference; I know I'm right.  The bottom line is: If you're truly my friend, then you don't want me to totally give up on Tori, Jennifer, and crew.  If I did, the results could be disastrous, and that's not a joke nor an exaggeration.
Any comments?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

An Exercise in Moderation

As usual, I'll start off with a story: In the 2006 film The Devil Wears Prada, the protagonist, Andy Sachs--portrayed by my former top crush, Anne Hathaway--takes a job at a fashion magazine, because that's the best thing she could find relating to journalism, which she has a degree in. To quote her, "It was either this or Auto World." Andy's new-found occupation came with the boss from Danté's Inferno, Miranda Priestly (played by Meryl Streep.) At first, Andy and her employer share mutual enmity, but, as the film progresses, the journalism student becomes so wrapped up in the job that she ends up like Miranda; so much so, that Ms. Priestly tells her twenty-something employee, "I see a lot of myself in you." Even Andy's co-workers began to notice; Emily Blunt's character (yes, the British girl) told Andy something that is, in my opinion, the film's most classic line: "You sold your soul the day you put on those Jimmy Choos." At the flick's end--and this is a spoiler, so be warned--Andy realizes what she has become, and throws her cellular phone in a fountain in the middle of a conversation with Miranda, signifying that Andy had washed her hands of the whole thing.
Why do I bring that up? It's not just to reminisce about Victoria Justice's predecessor. Rather, the reason is this: I only saw The Devil Wears Prada once, but I've always thought it made a very good point about what happens when someone gets too involved in something. Andy got too immersed with her work, and it turned her against her friends, her co-workers, even her significant other. The same has been happening over the past few years with me, only it's not my occupation that's consuming me; it's Facebook.
Let me delve into my history a bit: I have always been the quintessential "mouse potato". We didn't get Internet at our house until I was eleven years old, but I still spent many hours prior to that in front of the computers we had. Although I did do some creative projects and school work on them, most of my time was spent playing games. In 1999, when we first hooked up our computer to the Internet, my mom gave both herself and me separate AOL screen names and passwords, but set mine up with a very severe web block. You may think that was being over-protective, but keep in mind that I have always been developmentally delayed, meaning that I've been behind in some ways for my whole life. Most teens and tweens aren't mature anyway, but I was even less mature than the rest of them. So, looking back, I think it was a smart move. Many parents in this day and age worry about their kids finding pornography online, and my mom was, too, but that wasn't all she was worried about. She also didn't want me to spend hours on end talking to my friends, even people I did know. I lacked the self-discipline to keep online interaction from becoming an addiction, and she knew that. In fact, even though she made the decision about 5.5 years ago to get high-speed Internet without any blocks, social networking (as they call it these days) has become an obsession for me.
There's a number of reasons why that's the case, but I've got one that easily takes the cake: Most of you know that I love entertainment; books, movies, music, and TV are very big interests of mine. It should come as no surprise that I borrow or buy DVDs, CDs, and literature from the library, yard sales, used bookstores, etc., regularly. However, my shelves have become so full, even with using under-the-bed storage, I barely have room for all my books and movies. Several items I've borrowed from my local libraries recently have sat on my desk until they were due; I didn't even open the books, pop in the albums, or begin to watch the movies. Instead, I spend most of my spare time on Zuckerberg's website. Do I want to? No; I'd rather be enjoying a great book or a good movie than sitting around checking my notifications for the thousandth time. As the Apostle Paul said in Romans 7:15, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (NIV)
However, I'm at a loss for what to do. I've deactivated my account twice since joining Facebook in the autumn of 2006, and found myself back on there within just a matter of weeks both times. I also don't want to leave it completely alone for a prolonged amount of time; I had a friend who abandoned his Facebook page for about eighteen months, and found out when he got back on there that he'd missed a lot. One of his friends had even invited him to his (that is, my friend's friend's) wedding, and he knew nothing about it until well after the fact. Besides which, I don't consider Facebook a bad thing; I just consider having an addiction to it a bad thing.
You may wonder: Why is "social networking" so addicting for me? Well, I've thought about it, and I came to this conclusion: It lets my voice be heard. When I was younger, my thoughts on things tended to get squelched, because I was too long-winded in expressing them, my peers were being jerks and wouldn't let me talk, I was talking about something no one else cared about, or any number of other reasons. Most people, it seems, are better at expressing themselves through the spoken word than in writing, but I'm exactly the opposite. So, Facebook, as well as this blog, allow me to express my feelings on whatever topic, whether it be Victoria Justice, sports, broken friendships, current events, the last book I've read, or anything else.
One more thought, and then I'll end this: Most of you reading this probably know that I've reacted rather negatively to romance-related posts on Facebook in the past. Some of you may also know that I've had three good friends, including two I practically grew up with, get married in the past few weeks. You may think that the above thoughts about Facebook addiction are because of that, but I can tell you right now that that's not the case. Seriously, I'm past getting upset because of others' relationships. If you want to know why, check my post titled "Do I REALLY Need a Significant Other?" or the two-parter "The REAL Truth About Me and My Celebrity Crushes" (which may have a third installment soon, if I get around to writing it.) Seriously, the problem isn't any of you, no matter what your relationship status is; it's me. You know how honest I am, so I know you believe me...right?

Thursday, November 10, 2011

For all my fellow Mac nerds...

I saw this joke randomly online, and couldn't help but re-post it. Enjoy!

Picard: Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?
Geordi: Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late twentieth-century computing technology.
(Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.)
Riker [puzzled]: What the heck is Microsoft?
Data [turns to explain]: Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called Windows, through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate.
Picard: But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?
Data: Yes, Captain. But when Windows detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an upgrade. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions.
Picard: Excellent work. This is even better than that unsolvable geometric shape idea.
(15 Minutes Later)
Data: Captain, we have successfully installed the Windows in the Borg's command unit. As expected, it immediately consumed 85% of all available resources. However, we have not received any confirmation of the expected upgrade.
Geordi: Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity, but we still have no indication of an upgrade to compensate for their increase.
Picard: Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is something we have missed.
Data: Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the upgrade. Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards.
Riker: Captain, we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F!
Geordi: [excited] Wait, Captain! Their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to zero percent!
Picard: Data, what do your scanners show?
Data: [studying displays] Apparently the Borg have found the internal Windows module named Solitaire, and it has used up all available CPU capacity.
Picard: Let's wait and see how long this Solitaire can reduce their functionality.
(Two Hours Pass)
Riker: Geordi, what is the status of the Borg?
Geordi: As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more Windows modules from something called the Microsoft Fun-Pack.
Picard: How much time will that buy us?
Data: Current Borg solution rates allow me to predict an interest time span of six more hours.
Geordi: Captain, another vessel has entered our sector.
Picard: Identify.
Data: It appears to have markings very similar to the Microsoft logo...
Voice over Speakers: This is admiral Bill Gates of the Microsoft flagship MONOPOLY. We have positive confirmation of unregistered software in this sector. Surrender all assets and we can avoid any trouble. You have 10 seconds to comply.
Data: The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid-shaped objects.
Picard: Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!
Riker: Goodness gracious, captain! Those are human beings floating straight toward the Borg ship - with no life support suits! How can they survive the tortures of deep space?!
Data: I don't believe that those are humans, sir. If you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doeskin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits.
Riker and Picard, together [horrified]: Lawyers!
Geordi: It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening.
Data: True, but appearently some must have survived.
Riker: They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers.
Data: I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as red tape. It often proves fatal.
Riker: They're tearing the Borg to pieces!
Picard: Turn the monitors off, Data, I cant bear to watch. Even the Borg doesn't deserve such a gruesome death!

Monday, October 10, 2011

The Search That (May) Never End

By now, I think pretty much everyone reading this knows how passionate I am about yard sales, library sales, thrift stores, and used book, movie, and/or music stores. Places such as those are where I have obtained most of the media I've bought for myself, as well as many gifts for others, over the past few years. Some people don't care for buying used goods, but, coming from a family that hasn't always been affluent, I can tell you that purchasing items secondhand is sometimes the only way you're going to get them.
Part of the fun of garage sales and Goodwill is that you just never know what you'll find. There have been times where I've seen items for sale that I didn't even know existed. For example, earlier this year, I saw an easy reader titled Putt-Putt's Night Before Christmas, accompanied by an audio cassette. When I was about eight or nine years old, Putt-Putt (an anthropomorphic talking convertible) was to me what Victoria Justice currently is. Although I liked other computer/video game characters back then, such as Mario's green-clad brother Luigi, that little car was my absolute favorite.  I was surprised to see it, and that I didn't know about it previously, considering how bad my case of Putt-Putt fever was.  There have been plenty of other similar incidents over the past few years as well.
Anyone who frequents yard sales and thrift stores will tell you that you can't go to them looking for a specific item, as in only one DVD or a certain book.  You have to just browse, and, if anything strikes your fancy, buy it.  I agree with that rule; however, there have been a few items over the years that I've just been keeping an eye out for when I go to library and tag sales, and I've had some previous searches that were successful.  One such long-time quest was finding the British edition of an album by Westlife.  You've probably never heard of that group; the easiest description I can give you is that they're the UK's answer to once mega-popular boy bands such as 'N Sync and the Backstreet Boys.  The key difference is that most if not all of Westlife's songs are covers of previously popular hits, such as "Total Eclipse of the Heart," "Against All Odds," and "Seasons in the Sun."  I had heard the latter track through the streaming site Project Playlist, and had wanted to get it (legally; I don't do illegal downloads) really bad.  None of the digital music stores had it, though. Yes, I likely could have gotten the CD through Amazon Marketplace or eBay; however, I don't like the latter all that much because people on there tend to get in "bidding wars," and importing a CD from across the pond through Amazon tends to be expensive.  So, for years, I quietly hoped that I would find that CD for sale somewhere...and a yard sale in my neighborhood a few weeks ago granted my wish.  It had two British Westlife CDs, including one that had "Seasons in the Sun," for sale.  I was overjoyed to find them, and finding Monsters, Inc. on DVD at another garage sale several months ago elicited similar feelings.
Though those searches may have ended, I still have some going on.  Recently, I've been keeping an eye out for Where I Wanna Be by V*Enna.  V*Enna was a turn-of-the-century Christian female pop duo that only recorded one album: the one I just named. After hearing the CD's title track on a WOW CD, that was also bought used, I've been dying to hear, and own, the whole album.  Another search is for the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie The Love Letter (not to be confused with the identically-titled film starring Kate Capshaw, which I wouldn't even pay one cent for.)  That search isn't for me; it's for my mom, who has the Hallmark telefilm on VHS, but hasn't been able to find it on DVD.  According to the employees at my local MovieStop, the disc version of The Love Letter is out of print; yet, that wouldn't stop me from being able to find it at a tag sale or thrift store.  Other used item quests include the soundtrack to 102 Dalmatians, old-school Disney Channel Original Movies (DCOMs) on DVD, and the last three books in Bodie and Brock Thoene's Zion Covenant series.
All that said, I may not be able to find all or even any of those items.  I certainly hope I do, but you never can tell; the unpredictability of garage and library sales is a big part of their appeal.  No, I don't need those items; still, I can have hope that, somewhere, somehow, maybe when I least expect it, V*Enna's sole album or Hallmark's The Love Letter will pop up.  When it does, I sure hope I'm ready.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

X-Wings

X-WINGS
To the tune of "Airplanes" by B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams

CHORUS 1:
Can we pretend that X-Wings are right outside shooting down Death Stars?
I wish life was like fiction now, fiction now, fiction now!
Can we pretend that two twins live a Suite Life with their singer mom?
I wish life was like fiction now, fiction now, fiction now!

Yeah, I want an X-Wing, Nimbus 3000, or airship
To go to another place, much simpler than this
'Cause after all the fightin', and these nasty disasters
And how pure sin is looked at as glam and fashion
I read some books and watch some sitcoms, then I'm askin':
Why can't real life ever be anything like this?
And, then, I look at that cell phone that I have
And see all my calls are from my mom or my dad
So, I just let the story unfold!
I imagine I'm that great heroine or hero!
And, many worlds I've traveled!
Like this planet, and many more
Without leaving my chair!
So, X-Wing, X-Wing, take me away!
Just to some place I can find a date!
When you find that, it'll all be all right!
I'll probably be married well before midnight!

CHORUS 2:
Can we pretend that Batman is out tonight fighting the Joker?
I wish life was like fiction now, fiction now, fiction now!
Can we pretend that best friends always become items, like Lizzie and Gordo?
I wish life was like fiction now, fiction now, fiction now!

Somebody, take me now to a place
Where I have a great job, that wonderf'ly pays!
Where I don't have to worry 'bout breaking the bank!
Where I can find a cougar wife who knows the Way!
Yeah, man, all the books and movies are showin' it!
But, no, I just have not been getting it!
Maybe, if, tomorrow, in my front yard lands a X-Wing
Then I will never again be lookin' back on the old days!
Maybe then, everything will go just my way!
And, I'll have a woman who is, in every way, great!
And, I won't have a friendship abruptly end every day!
Man, life would be much greater if it were that way!
But, this ain't a story book or a Hollywood flick!
That's why I never will marry Maddie Fitzpatrick!
I know things on this planet aren't all that great,
But I know I'll be in the best place ever one day!

CHORUS 3:
Can we pretend that Hermione is on her broom, flying, with Harry and Ron?
I wish life was like fiction now, fiction now, fiction now!
Can we pretend that I'm on a big stage, right alongside Miss Tori Vega?
I wish life was like fiction now, fiction now, fiction now!

I wish life was like fiction now! (REPEAT)
Like iCarly or Cars!
Like fiction now!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

I remember where I was; do you?

NOTE: This is a revised version of my post from last year, which went largely unnoticed due to me being on a sabbatical from Facebook at the time. I thought about waiting until this Sunday to re-post this, but I might be quite busy this weekend. Thanks for reading!
As pretty much everyone around the world knows, this Sunday is the tenth anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. I'd like to talk about where I was when I first heard about not only that tragic event, but also other ones I can somewhat remember that caused nationwide, if not worldwide, panic.
I'll start with 9/11. It was right at the beginning of my eighth grade year. The school day had barely even started when my good friend Jakob got picked up to go home, and he was not sick, nor did he have an appointment. I didn't even know what was going on until I got back home, and I saw only a few minutes of the news before I went to my weekly counseling session at my church. When I got in the building, they had CBS News playing in the fellowship room, and I can still remember my counselor saying a prayer at the end and praying not only for me, but also for the state of our nation.
April 16, 2007 was probably the most traumatic national event for me, because I had (and still do have) some friends at Virginia Tech. It made things even worse that I didn't even know anything of that sort was going on until I just innocently logged into AOL Instant Messenger like I did (and still do) pretty much every day, and saw Away messages like, "Let's hope and pray everyone is okay at Virginia Tech," or something like that (it's been so long, I can't remember.) I was quite glad that all my friends were okay, and that incident taught me a lesson: Even though in countless fictional stories--from classic Disney animated movies to R-rated, graphically violent action flicks--killing someone (or a group of people) brings peace, it rarely does in real life. When you do as that Cho guy did, not only do you end a person's/people's life/lives, but you also bring serious emotional pain to that person/those people's family/families.
February 1, 2003 was, while not as tragic as the events I just mentioned, still terrible. For those who don't remember--and I wouldn't say this if it weren't for at least one person I've talked to who is older than me and doesn't remember this incident--that was the day the Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrated upon returning to Earth. I was watching ABC's Saturday morning block (known as ABC Kids) as was usual for Saturdays back then, and I was waiting for Lizzie McGuire to come on. Out of nowhere, the national news comes on. At first, I thought it was just some short educational program, but it stayed on, and that's when I realized something was wrong. I had it on mute, so I turned the volume up, and all they were saying at first was that NASA had lost contact with the astronauts aboard Columbia and they kept going back and forth from the same person to the typical, "In case you're just tuning in..." summary. Eventually, they ended up saying the shuttle was gone, and that all the astronauts inside were dead. My mom was asleep through all this, because she had worked the night before. I told her about it as soon as she woke up, and it shocked her as much as it did me. Even WGN decided not to show Star Wars: A New Hope that afternoon like they were planning to, only because of that event. As bad as it was, I'm glad it didn't happen when I was little; back then, I wanted to be an astronaut, and a tragedy like that would have devastated me.
There are many other tragedies I could talk about. There was the Asian tsunami on December 26, 2004, which was quite horrible. Hurricane Katrina in 2005 was as bad if not worse; although forecasters did correctly predict where it was going to hit, and some people did evacuate, the storm was among the deadliest natural disasters of any sort to hit our nation, and seeing all the debris, as well as people mourning their loved ones lost in the storm, just broke my heart. The Columbine shooting in 1999 is an event I remember more because of the aftermath than the actual event. At the time, I was a student at an elementary school where my mom worked, and they talked about a code phrase--no, I'm not going to name it here!--that meant the school was under attack. I also remember my friends' mom not wanting them to play GoldenEye for Nintendo 64 because it was very similar--at least, to her--to Doom which supposedly inspired Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold to do as they did. Although I know tons of people, my friends included, had fun with that N64 game, I can still somewhat understand my friends' mom's feelings; seriously, do you want any of your kids to grow up to be mass murderers? Didn't think so. One of those friends told me during summer of 2000, about a year after they'd moved hundreds of miles away, that a guy he knew had gotten in big trouble, including not only suspension from school, but also a summer-long grounding by his parents, only because he told the bus driver that she didn't want to drive the bus on the last day because something bad was going to happen, and, because everyone was up in arms about school security back then, the bus driver took it as a threat and wrote the kid up. That same fear was proven by an incident involving me early that following school year, but we don't need to get into that.
This might sound trite, but here it is anyway: No matter what happens, God is in control. Some people think recent events are signs that the end is near, and that may be true; however, as I've heard at least one preacher say, it could just as easily be a thousand more years until Jesus comes back. I don't believe in that December 21, 2012 stuff; after all, research just shows that it's the end of the Mayan calendar, not the end of the world. People who get all up in arms about that mess sound as ridiculous as a kid saying, "Oh, no! My Wizards of Waverly Place calendar only goes to December 31, 2011! After that, life as we know it is going to come to a complete end! I better warn all my BFFs!" (No, I do not have a Wizards of Waverly Place calendar; I have an iCarly one.)
Any comments?

Friday, September 2, 2011

Who Has the Better Life?

In high school, I was a huge fan of Disney Channel's live-action sitcoms such as Lizzie McGuire, Even Stevens, and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.  Although I have fond memories of all three of those shows and some others, one Mouse House situation comedy has kept a hold on me like none other: That's So Raven! My friends might have a largely negative opinion of that show, but I've always liked it.  Anyway, one episode that I often remember was titled "Dissin' Cousins," where Raven (played by The Cosby Show alumni Raven-Symoné) tells a bunch of tall tales, such as she is head cheerleader and in a romantic relationship with her best friend Eddie (Orlando Brown, Family Matters), in order to impress her cousin Andrea, who is visiting from Europe.  When things go completely awry, the two cousins have this exchange of words:

ANDREA: I think we need to talk.
RAVEN: Why is that? Are you here to brag about something else to make me feel even worse about my life? Oh, no, here, I'll save you the trouble, okay? I lied.  I'm not head of the volleyball squad I'm not head cheerleader, and I can't cook. So, congratulations. You win. Your life is better than mine.
ANDREA: Rae.  Hold on.  You actually think my life is better than yours?
RAVEN: You sure make it seem that way.
ANDREA: Well, it's not.  I live in a different country every year.  I change homes.  I have to make new friends.  Believe me, Rae, you don't know how lucky you are.
RAVEN: But I don't shop in Rome, okay? And I don't live in Paris.
ANDREA: Oh, I'd trade all that for this. Look, you were standing right here when you were two and four and seven and nine.  I don't have that.  I don't have a real home like you do.  Oh, and you'll really love this one.  I don't have a boyfriend, either.  I made him up to impress you because I thought you had the better life.  So, I don't win.  You do.
RAVEN: You mean...we wasted 14 years of trying to impress each other when we could have been friends?
ANDREA: Want to start over again?
RAVEN: Sure.

Some of you may think that's just sitcom stuff, but, actually, the reason I've been pondering that episode lately is because I often wonder if it isn't the same way between me and some friends of mine.  I'm not accusing any friends of mine of making up accomplishments and such to impress me or anyone else; what I am saying is, I wonder if the people who I think have a better life than me actually feel that the opposite is true.
Being immersed in a social network such as Facebook allows me to know what's going on with my friends, as well as people I barely know, pretty much anytime.  Whether they're going to the grocery store, getting married, riding their bikes around the block, getting divorced, watching television, or expecting a baby, I find out about it, even sometimes when I really didn't need (or want) to know.  However, all that information has led to some frustration.  I mentioned in my "To rejoice or to mourn? THAT is the question." post that I'd responded inappropriately to some happy moments my friends have had recently, such as getting engaged or married, but it goes beyond relationships.  Other people, irrespective of their marital status, often have fun outings with their friends--which sometimes, but not always, includes people I also consider my friends--wonderful jobs, and great experiences that I can only imagine.  I wouldn't know about any of it if it weren't for Zuckerberg's website, though.  When I do find out about it, it can, but doesn't always, upset me.  Even if I don't start throwing things in a fury, I still get bothered by it from time to time.  You may think that's wrong, but I ask you this: How would you feel if your friends bombarded you with pictures and messages about what they did together, while you were stuck at home pretty much all day and all night with your parents?
Then again, just like Raven and her cousin Andrea, it may be that others think that I am the one with the better life.  At times, I wonder why many of my friends around my age are already engaged or married, while I'm still single just like I've always been.  However, I then stop and think about all the young married couples I've known over the years whose relationships ended in divorce.  Many people have told me that relationships are not everything they're cracked up to be, and they're probably right.  It's the same thing with the other areas I mentioned.  The online albums may make the outings look fun, but would I really have a good time if I went? (If it involved alcoholic beverages, the answer is definitely no.) Someone else's job might look great, but so can dog food or baby food in the hands of advertisers.  In many cases, those things may not be what they seem from the outside.
In conclusion, let me say this: I'm not asking you to leave me comments or send me messages saying, "Oh, Siobhan, your life is so much better than mine! You have no idea how good you have it!"  Whether you've thought that or not is your own business.  I once told some friends of mine, "You wouldn't last a week in my shoes!" and one of them replied, "Well, guess what? That road goes both ways, buddy! You have no idea what's going on with me when you call me, and you wouldn't last a week in my shoes, either!" A good part of my friends could probably say the same thing; I probably couldn't deal with what they have to on a daily basis.  It's hard to know what someone's situation is like until you've actually been in it.  That was proved back when my oldest sister was alive; many people came up with some (usually well-meaning) suggestions for how my mom could do things better...but all those folks just showed their lack of understanding of her situation, because, almost always, those "solutions" wouldn't have worked.  Maybe people (including me) who think others have a better life don't really understand others' situations.  I just have to learn to "bloom where I'm planted," as they say.  I've learned how to make do with what I've got in more than one area: technology, shopping, etc.  I should do the same with my situation...as should everyone else.
Any comments?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

I Think I'm Going Out of My Head

I don't know if this is normal or not, but I take my mental stability very seriously.  That hasn't always been the case; when I was younger, I used to do quite weird things in public places--my school, my church, at the store, at home when company was there, etc.--that led to some people thinking I was nuts.  True, some of that may have been a product of the various psychological meds I was trying out at such a young age; it's been so long, I honestly couldn't say.  I'm still on an anti-psychotic, but only one, and I'll probably be taking it for the rest of my life.  My mom tried taking me off of it twice, back in 1999 as well as last year, and things didn't go well at all either time.  That's okay, though; I know I'm not the only one who can say he/she will be taking the same medicine until he/she dies.
You may wonder: If I'm on the meds and take them regularly as prescribed, then what's there to worry about? Well, even though I try to refrain from doing anything that would lead to anyone thinking I'm mentally ill, I don't always succeed.  One such case was last summer, when my grandmother was visiting from Florida.  It was her birthday, and we were having a party for her; we invited both some family members and a couple of my dad's friends.  While we were sitting at the table eating, we were having a normal dinner discussion, and one person at the table--not saying who--was talking about things being lost in translation, which is a topic I like to talk about.  Naturally, I started launching into stories about kids in my middle school or high school Spanish class trying to cheat by using online translators, and how the teachers found them out by the literal (and inaccurate) translations of slang phrases, as well as Jim Davis' commentary on his Garfield strips getting translated into countless languages.  A few weeks later, my mom and I were having a day out, and while we were in the car, my mom mentioned to me about how, if I have a story to tell, I should keep it short, and if I tell a long story--like I presumably did at that birthday party--I sound as if I'm mentally ill.  She even used a guy we used to know who was insane (in the literal sense) as a comparison.
Of course, my mom and the other people present at that party know I'm not mentally ill, but I wonder if other people think I am.  I know, I know; I'm not supposed to care what people think about me.  Still, it makes me wonder if that's why I've been losing friends left and right on Facebook.  At least half of those who have unfriended, blocked, and/or denied me on there have been people I'd just met in the past year or so before adding them.  You may say that's just the Internet and not real life, but I seriously think a good part of them did so out of disgust with what I was saying or doing online.
Pretty much everyone has experienced cabin fever; whether you've served in the military on a submarine or battleship, or just been stuck in your house for long periods of time for whatever reason, you know what it's like.  Well, that used to be what I had to face on a very frequent basis.  I've talked on here about my severely disabled older sister, and one thing about her was that someone always had to be with her.  My mom used to work nights, so she'd leave me in charge of her, and, not only was I not allowed to leave the house, there were certain parts of the house I couldn't go in.  I once got grounded for going on the Internet while I was supposed to be taking care of my sister.  I wasn't looking up anything obscene; if I remember right, I was reading reviews of Final Fantasy II for Super NES.  It was wrong for me to be on the computer in the first place, though; it was in a different room, so doing that would have been leaving my sister alone.  I deserved to be punished for that, because I disobeyed my mother and was being a jerk to my sister.  Still, I wonder if being confined to only part of my house so many times didn't drive me insane.
I know most of you friends of mine reading this don't live alone; you have at least one person--spouse, kid(s), parent(s), etc.--who share your abode.  I've never lived alone either, but I have been left essentially alone, if not completely alone, countless times.  I'm reminded of an incident back in the summer of '99 involving an elderly family friend.  This friend had found some recipes in the local newspaper that he/she couldn't see very well because of the tiny print, so he/she'd asked my mom and I to use our computer to make them easier to read.  We didn't have a scanner at the time, so we just went into a word processing document and copied them by hand.  When we gave the finished results to that friend of ours, he/she said, "Well, it doesn't look like it did on the newspaper, but I guess that's okay!" Yes, he/she didn't understand the technology; that didn't surprise anyone who knew him/her.  Still, it scared me because I thought he/she had gone nuts; his/her response reminded me of the nutcase Exidor on Mork & Mindy, my favorite show at the time.
Fast forward to September 2011, and now I am the one acting like Exidor, and not on purpose.  No, I'm not alone 24/7, but my parents often leave me by myself at our house, and it's been happening for years, especially back when my oldest sister was alive.  I'll be the first to say that I do not need a babysitter; my parents know very well that I can take care of things around our house quite well, and I'm not blaming them for my problems.  My mom did the best she could given the situation; I don't doubt that.  Still, I don't like the feeling of being alone at all.  Being essentially by myself all that time has led to me talking to myself, which has caused all kinds of problems, such as the birthday party incident described earlier and plenty more.
In conclusion, let me say this: I know I'm not insane.  I may be taking anti-psychotic meds, but at least I'm capable of having an intelligent conversation with someone.  Many things I've seen people who were mentally ill say and do, such as one lady at my psychiatrist's office a few years ago who told my mom that the very late--I think you know what I mean--former President Ronald Reagan was still living somewhere--"A lot of people don't know that," she said--are not things that I say or do.  Still, I often wonder how I come off to those that don't know me.  I know I'm not supposed to care, but I wonder if others' first impressions of me have led to lost chances for friendship or similar things.  In a previous post, I mentioned that people are going to misinterpret and judge others' actions no matter what they say or do, and that's true.  However, that doesn't give me or anyone else an excuse to act like an idiot in public.  I'm not sure whether I come off as a crazed lunatic to others or not; yet, if I had to wager a guess, I'd say I do.  I hope I'm wrong, though; do any of you know?

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

We ALL Need Support

I've had a lot more spare time than usual over the past few days; those of you who know me know exactly why. It's usually during times of sheer boredom that I do my best thinking, and the past seventy-two hours or so have been no exception. I've thought this through more times than I can count on one hand, and I think I've gotten the hang of what I want to say.
As usual, I'll start with a story: In 2005, the (alleged) finale of the Star Wars saga, Revenge of the Sith, came out in theaters. People flocked to the cinemas, and both professional critics and regular movie-watchers were singing its praises. Some conservative reviewers had one problem with it, though. Since battles between good and evil are present throughout George Lucas' space opera, it's very popular with people of all faiths. However, the notion of religion got insulted by the scene where newly-Sith Anakin says, "If you're not with me, you're my enemy," and his mentor Obi-Wan replies, "Only a Sith deals in absolutes." It was especially offensive to those of the Christian faith, since Jesus himself once said, "He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters." (Matthew 12:30, NIV)
Why do I bring that up? Simply because what Anakin and Jesus said applies to the people I regularly interact with as well: they're either with me or against me. I don't consider anyone who isn't my friend to be my enemy; Jesus also said, "Whoever is not against you is for you." I'll admit that I do have right many friends, and I'm not talking about Facebook friends. Between my weekly small group, the library where I volunteer, and my church family, I have a large amount of them. You may be asking: How do I know who, among the people I associate with, is my friend and who isn't? Simple: if they support me, they're with me...but if they don't, they're not. I'm not talking about financial support; I'm talking about emotional support.
As usual, I'll use some stories to illustrate my point: There was a person who I (unfortunately, I might add) had to deal with quite often who often showed his/her disdain for my favorite things. Remember the story from my "Don't Mention It" post about how I was "punished" by someone for saying, "Na nu, na nu," to my Sunday school teacher? Well, that same "someone" treated the old 80's sitcom Growing Pains, my number one favorite show at the time, like it was pornography, saying, "I'm sorry; we don't watch that show in this house! Turn on the news!" Even one brief mention of my favorite computer game series caused an angry response from him/her. Another person--who will also remain nameless--was just as unsupportive, but in a different way. He/she was essentially the sole leader of a group I was in, and he/she sat there and repeatedly condoned what the other members did, even things such as lying or spouting off at the mouth, while continually putting me on blast for anything that he/she found the least bit inappropriate. That probably doesn't sound very supportive to you, and it isn't; one can only conclude that those two individuals--at that time, anyway--were not on my side.
Conversely, I have a friend named who is in charge of the magazines at the library where I volunteer. Just like everyone else who knows me, he/she knew I was a big Victoria Justice fan, so, a few months ago, when a brand-new issue of Seventeen arrived with Vic herself on the cover, my friend thought of me and (almost) let me read it before anyone else. (The only reason he/she didn't was because I'd already left for the day by the time it came in.) It may not have been anything big, but I really appreciated such a kind gesture. To me, that's a perfect example of what support is.
Believe it or not, most of the people I interact with on an at least somewhat frequent basis fall into one of those categories; that is, supportive or unsupportive. I'm thankful that the majority of the people I communicate with regularly are supportive; I don't know what I would do without them. Still, it pains me to think that some people could be my friends...if only they'd support me.
Now, let me be clear on one point: Money will not buy my friendship. Most of you know that I am a child of divorce, and that my biological father is the quintessential jerk. In fact, I'm quite thankful that my mom left him when she did, because that decision gave me a better life. Even though I almost never saw him, one thing he used to do quite often was send me gifts. Most of it was sports-related, which made it worthless to me. Occasionally, though, he did send me some good stuff. My mom warned me--and, remember, she was married to him for fifteen years, so she knew his ways--that he was probably trying to win my love with things. The same could be said of some people who were regularly unsupportive. Seriously, you can shower me with presents on Christmas or my birthday, but all those material things don't mean anything if you're not emotionally supportive of me.
In conclusion, let me say this: I get that many of you don't understand why things such as entertainment, celebrity crushes, yard/garage sales, libraries, etc., are so important to me. If I were to guess, I'd say it's because, compared to many people my age, I don't have much going on. Most of my coeval friends are in some sort of relationship, have a job, and/or are taking a lot of classes. However, I'm not involved in any of those things right now, unless you count my volunteering at the library as a job, which I don't. I need something to fill my time, and the aforementioned things that are important to me currently fit the bill perfectly. In my opinion, a true friend would already understand all that and would do just like that librarian friend did in the story mentioned above. Yes, I need emotional support; we all do. If, however, you're going to repeatedly tell me why my favorite things are stupid, or that I'm always wrong about everything, then you are not being emotionally supportive of me. If you're reading this, I'm either already your friend or want to be, but friendship goes both ways. I can show respect for what you're into; can you do the same for me?

Friday, August 26, 2011

To rejoice or to mourn? THAT is the question.

Of all the topics I've talked about on this blog recently, there's been one glaring omission: the Bible.  The Good Book deserves to be talked about, so, I'm posting about it now and hope to make more posts about God's Word in the future.  I hope all you readers of my blog enjoy this post; it's been days in the making.
The Bible is full of teachings that are hard to live out:
  • "Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:28, NIV)
  • "Anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell." (Matthew 5:22, NIV)
  • "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord." (Romans 12:19, NIV) 
I don't know about you, but I struggle with following those commandments quite often.  However, there's one other commandment that is almost as hard to keep from breaking: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." (Romans 12:15, NIV)  It's one that I keep repeating in my head to make sure that, the next time an occasion which requires rejoicing or mourning comes up, I'll respond appropriately.
Most of you who know me know that I don't always have the same response to things as most people do.  Two such examples are Napoleon Dynamite and The Last Airbender.  My opinions of both of those flicks differed greatly from popular opinion.  My feelings on films are small potatoes compared to my response to big announcements and/or events, though.
Sometimes, I have found it easy to mourn with others over the loss of a loved one, even when I never knew or even met the deceased individual.  I can remember being quite upset after looking at pictorial tributes to people who died quite young.  However, that hasn't always been the case.
I think you friends of mine know how much I dislike dogs, right? Well, a few years ago, my old neighbors had gotten a brand new canine that was even more of an annoyance to me than others of his species.  Every time I went in my backyard, he barked like crazy at me, even when I was sitting on my parents' swing, facing the other way with headphones on my ears and my nose in an Anne McCaffrey novel.  Not long after they got him, he ran out into the street and was killed.  Part of me wanted to be sad, but a bigger part of me was thinking, YAY! Now I can go in my backyard and not be sonically assaulted by that dumb animal's barking! I shouldn't have been thinking the latter, though, because that wasn't a Christ-like attitude.
As bad as that may sound, I've had more cases where I broke the first part of Romans 12:15: "Rejoice with those who rejoice."  I'm sure you all know that my lack of a relationship has been one of my favorite topics of online discussion.  Well, being on Facebook too much has led to me being among the first to find out about friends' engagements, and, I'll admit, I haven't always acted appropriately.  I've done everything from unfriending the newly engaged friend to pitching a hissy fit (no joke) to making violent threats (again, no joke), all of which I shouldn't have done.  It seemed like I was unable to look past my own immediate needs and wants, which made me unable to rejoice with my friends like everyone else.
I've said enough about what I've done.  Now, let's talk about you; that is, my friends.  I think pretty much all of you know that I rejoice over things that don't even affect anyone else.  A perfect example was the crowning of Victoria Justice as my new top celebrity crush earlier this year; despite me being quite elated about it, most (though not all) of my friends seemed totally indifferent about it, as if I was celebrating a completely unheard of holiday.  Other big events, whether happy or sad, that have happened to me over the past year or so, such as the Love and Other Drugs trailer incident, "Electricity" and her rather ugly rejection of me, Rachel Zevita's unfair early elimination from American Idol, or finding cool, unique items at local yard sales, have elicited similar responses.
You may say, "But those incidents you mentioned mostly deal with entertainment, which isn't all that important." Well, maybe not to you, but books, movies, television and music are my passions, which is why I want to work at a library one day, and hopefully will soon.  To illustrate my point, I'll use a story about one of my family members: My sister, for those of you who don't know her, has always been a big-time animal lover.  At one point, she and my brother-in-law owned three cats and two (big) dogs.  It's no surprise that she works at a vet clinic, right? Well, her passion for animals goes beyond that.  Over the years, she was able to find quite a bit of memorabilia that had cat(s) and/or dog(s) that were the same breed(s) as hers; she had everything from a framed photo to notepads to even a panhandler.
You bet, she loved her pets! Now, if some tragedy had happened to one of them, it would be easy for a fellow animal lover to understand the pain she was going through, right? However, how would someone who can't even stand the sight of an innocent, sweet house cat or a cuddly little basset hound--and, yes, I have known people like that--feel?  Would they even begin to understand what that was like? Probably not.
What's my point in saying that? Simply this: Although many people like entertainment, I've been hard-pressed to find very many people that take it as seriously as I do.  If you go in my bedroom, the walls are covered with various movie, TV and music-related images, and my shelves are overflowing with books.  That's proof of my dedication to it, right? So, naturally, when a celebrity I like does something seriously wrong, I mourn, and, when one of my favorite actors, actresses or singers does something great, I rejoice.
Going back to the verse in Romans: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." It really couldn't be any simpler.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say that you don't have to rejoice (or mourn) with someone if you think what they're all excited (or dismayed) about is stupid.  When I'm happy (or sad) about something, I don't want to hear, "You need to get over it!" or "Just move on with your life!", even if the reason for my feelings is entertainment-related.  That kind of response is very immature, like that of a middle schooler.  If you don't like having to rejoice (or mourn) with me over something related to an actress, movie, or book, don't blame me, because I'm not the One who commanded you to do it.  The New Living Translation says it even plainer: "Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep."  Yes, it does apply to me, but it applies to you as well.  I'm going to try to be better about following that commandment; will you join me?

Monday, August 8, 2011

How "Lizzie McGuire" Changed My Life

Believe it or not, I owe quite a bit to that show!
Okay, question time: When you hear the name Lizzie McGuire, what comes to mind? A classic sitcom that you wish newer shows on the Disney Channel were more like? A horrible television program featuring a dumb girl who fell a lot? A cash cow that had Mouse House executives rolling in the dough? A show you rarely or never got to see when it was on because you didn't have cable? Part of your childhood that you've since grown out of? The lead actress, Hilary Duff, whether you love her or lump her?  Truth be told, it's been quite a while since I've even seen any clips from Lizzie McGuire.  It must still be popular, because I've had to shelve books based on that show countless times at the library.  Most of my friends know that I used to be a huge fan of that show and Hilary Duff; I had her picture plastered all over my binder and desktop.  She and fellow Disney starlet Christy (Carlson) Romano (Even Stevens, Cadet Kelly) were my top two celebrity crushes back then, just like Victoria Justice and Jennifer Stone are now.  However, Lizzie had a wonderful lasting effect on me, and, even though I ditched Hilary in favor of Anne Hathaway over six years ago, those effects are still going strong.
What was it? Well, when I was younger, before I became a Hilary Duff fan, I had certain forms of entertainment I liked, just like I do now.  However, instead of it bringing me and my friends together, it mostly drove a wedge between my classmates and I.  Why? Well, all the entertainment I liked was at least one of four things: classic, obscure, a computer/video game, and/or widely seen as immature and/or childish by my peers.  What made things even worse was that I didn't want to talk about anything else, leaving all my classmates wondering what on earth I was talking about, if they even wanted to talk to me.
However, Lizzie McGuire changed all of that.  I still remember what led to me getting into it: Back in fall of 2002, I was lost because my then-favorite show, Growing Pains, was taken off of ABC Family quite abruptly.  I didn't know what to do; I felt like throwing my TV into the dumpster.  That all changed when a kid my mom was taking care of, who was a few years younger than me, showed me a little show called Lizzie McGuire.  It took more than one viewing to make me a fan; in fact, the first episode I saw was all about Aaron Carter, which led me to think it was the stupidest show on the planet.  Boy, did my opinion change on that one.
It wasn't just that show, though.  It was that it led my notions about current, non-obscure, non-gaming entertainment had been completely shattered.  If it hadn't been for Lizzie McGuire, I wouldn't care at all about Star Wars, superheroes, Victorious, Amy Adams, American Idol, celebrity birthdays, or most of the other things that I currently talk about profusely.  That Hilary Duff sitcom was the catalyst that started it all.  This may sound stupid, but here it is anyway: If it hadn't been for Lizzie McGuire, I don't know where I'd be right now.
Any comments?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Cranberries' Mentality (And Why We Can Do Without It)


I'll admit it: I'm a big-time lover of most kinds of music. On my iPod, I have everything from Josh Groban to Glee to the Beatles to dc Talk to multiple American Idol finalists to ABBA to Elton John to Matchbox Twenty to Victoria Justice and then some. However, there is one genre that, to me, continues to be in a league of its own: classic rock. I've always been a fan of older media, so it should come as no surprise that my playlist is littered with songs that are well over a decade old. One enduring band is the Cranberries, whose music still gets played on the radio to this day. They had an album with a very unique title that I like because it's easily parodied, but dislike because of its implications: Everybody Else is Doing It, So Why Can't We?
Most of you reading this have already seen my spoof of that album's title, so I don't need to ramble about it. Instead, here's why I dislike it: The title implies giving in to peer pressure and/or jumping on the bandwagon. I've seen that "everybody else is doing it" mentality rear its ugly head throughout my life, and I don't care for it all that much. That's why I refuse to conform to what society says. If some people had their way, I wouldn't do anything that I personally consider fun.
In fact, I have the perfect response to the Cranberries' titular statement, and it comes from my childhood. It happened all the time when I was younger: Some kid (sometimes me, sometimes not) would see other kid(s) doing something, and he/she would proceed to join in. An adult--usually a parent or teacher--would come by and see him/her doing that, and then ask why he/she was doing it. He/she would respond, "Because ________ was doing it," and the adult would immediately quip, "So, if ________ jumped off a bridge, would you do it, too?" I expect parents are still saying that now; if they aren't, they should be.
So, what's my point? Simply this: Just because everyone else is doing something does not mean that you have to do it, too. Being different is not a bad thing, despite what some of the denizens of this planet would have you believe. I've lived my life by that rule, and I hope people who are reading this will start doing so if they haven't already. As the song says, "I am but a small voice," but maybe this post will encourage one person. If it has, I've done my job.
Any comments?

Monday, August 1, 2011

You're Making a Spectacle!

Okay, everyone, it's question time: What do you find attractive in the opposite gender? You ladies like a man in uniform? You guys prefer a woman with a certain hair color? I've mentioned before that I'm a fan of all natural hues of hair; if you go back and look on my celebrity crush list, you'll see redheads (such as Amy Adams and Anneliese van der Pol,) blondes (i.e., Traylor Howard and Krystal Meyers) and brunettes (e.g. Victoria Justice and Jasmine Richards) throughout it.  However, there is one thing that I love to see a woman in.  It's not a certain color of clothing, although I have found that women of certain hair colors or ethnicities look really good in particular shades of apparel: redheads in green or purple, blondes in cobalt blue, Hispanic women in black, etc.  This, though, is one thing that applies to all women.  What is it? Glasses.
The above statement is not a joke; I really do like a woman in glasses.  It might sound stupid, I know; I can't really explain why I'm attracted to bespectacled females.  It might be that I grew up around them; my mom, my sister, and my grandmother have all worn specs for as far back as I can remember.  It also might be that certain kinds of glasses give a woman a brainiac/librarian-style look; I was a big fan of Scooby-Doo when I was a kid, and what fan of that show doesn't remember Velma "The Brain" Dinkley and her thick-rimmed spectacles? It might be something else entirely; I don't know.  What I do know is that I've liked women with eyeglasses for a long time, and probably always will.
Any comments?

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

More than Books Now (The Sequel to "Library Love Song")

DISCLAIMER: For the people who haven't heard the amazing original, check out this link.

MORE THAN BOOKS NOW (The Sequel to "Library Love Song")
To the tune of "Freak the Freak Out" by Victoria Justice

Where I am going
Has many diff'rent things!
You think it's just a bore
With just books, nothing more?
Well, I think you should go there
'Cause you're just unaware!
That was true in days of old,
But is not anymore!
Music on CD!
Movies new to DVD!
PCs with Internet!
Like I say,
Things have changed!
Yeah, you should go there, too!
You'll always find something new!
So, what's it gonna be?
Will you go there with me?

PRE-CHORUS:
Movies, free to rent!
You can use the Internet!
Just two reasons, just two reasons!
All kinds of music!
Don't forget audiobooks!
Two more reasons, two more reasons!

CHORUS:
The library
Is awesome in every way!
You will say, "Wow!"
When you go there and do more
Than just check books out!
(Hey!)
Whoa, whoa, whoa…

You heard what I said?
I'd say it all again!
This 'berry is my friend!
I love it, I love it!
There is so much here!
I could live here, for real!
I'm glad I do live near
This awesome place right here!
Between this place's walls,
Entertainment aplenty,
Digital and literary!
Did you know, did you know?
Have I fin'ly convinced you?
Do you want to come here, too?
Oh, that makes me happy!
Let's go to the 'berry!
(Are you here?)

REPEAT PRE-CHORUS AND CHORUS

(Hey!)
Whoa, whoa, whoa…

Yes, you really should go!
(Hey!)
Yes, you really should go!

Are you with me?

REPEAT CHORUS

Whoa, whoa, whoa…

More than books now! (REPEAT)

The library!
That's where I'm goin'!
Yep, where I'm goin'!
That where you're goin'?

[For all my 'berry friends: Lydia, Kristi, Teri, Karen, Elke, Anne, Rosa, Gabrielle, Patricia, Julia D., Deborah, John A., Linny, Jessica H., as well as anyone else who works on a library's behalf.]

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Celebrity Fanatics Vs. Sports Nuts

I think pretty much all of you reading this know that I'm a huge fan of celebrities of all kinds: actors, actresses, musicians, authors, etc. You probably also know that I'm not much of a sports fan. I said in another post that I'd tried sports in all forms--watching them on TV, as well as playing both physical and digital versions of them--and found them uninteresting. That right there puts me at odds with most of America, including at least ninety percent of Yanks with Y chromosomes. A public speaker could use a sports analogy during a speech to a crowd of 200+ people, and I'd probably be the only one among them who didn't understand it.
I've talked more than once about my experiences with sports and why I'm not a fan, so this post won't be about that. Instead, what I will talk about is something I realized earlier today while taking a break from my family's yard sale: My love for celebrities such as Victoria Justice, Kevin Max, or Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens isn't all that different than many people's love for their favorite athletes or sports teams.
First reason why: I keep track of my favorite celebrities' stats just like sports fans do with their favorite players. Some of you Facebook friends of mine may have seen statuses such as, "Happy birthday, Patrick Stewart!" or "Annie, it's your birthday, it's your birthday, it's your birthday, Annie!" (Yes, the latter is a partial parody of "Smooth Criminal".) You may wonder how I keep up with that. Simply put, I have a Google Calendar account that reminds me, and I've synced it with iCal on my Mac and the Calendar app on my iPad. I do have the birthdays of people I actually know on there as well; my entire immediate family, as well as my close friends, all have their "big days" listed on there. I also use such sites as IMDb and Plugged In, not to mention the countless fan pages on Facebook, to keep tabs on what my favorite famous people are doing. When a new Victorious episode or Siobhan Magnus single is announced, I get excited. I've noticed sports fans do the same thing: they keep track of the scores of every game, even if they're unable to watch it, and they also stay on top of whether their team makes it to the championship or not. Sports nuts get excited when good things happen to their favorite team(s)/player(s), just like I get excited when I hear good news about my favorite celebrities.
That brings me to my second point: Sports fans are upset by their favorite team(s)/player(s) losing, just like it hurts me when my favorite celebrities "lose." I may not be a sports fan, but one thing I know about professional league games is that, every time, there must be a loser and a winner. Sports fans probably have experienced their favorite team or player losing countless times, and I used to mock people who were bothered by that. I couldn't understand why it bothered them; was there really anything they could have done about it? Of course, as a long-time celebrity fan, I have seen cases where my favorite stars have "lost" as well. I'm not talking about scandals, although they've happened to both sports and movie stars; I'm talking about when one of my favorite celebrities just disappoints me big-time. One such example happened about two months ago. Most of you know that Jennifer Stone is my number two celebrity crush, numero uno being Victoria Justice. Well, I had waited for several weeks to see Mean Girls 2, a direct-to-video sequel that Jennifer starred in. Most of the reviews I'd read were negative, but that was also the case with the Amy Adams romcom Leap Year, and I thought that was great, so I just ignored them. When I finally saw MG2, I was quite disappointed. Yes, there was some crude content in it, but the movie would have been terrible even without that. I sat there throughout the film thinking, This is what I spent all these weeks waiting for?!! In that case, I thought the entire cast and crew of the movie, including Miss Stone, lost. It's not the only time that's happened; celebrities such as Patrick Stewart (when he starred in that abysmal The Mysterious Island), Anne Hathaway (Love and Other Drugs; need I say more?), Siobhan Magnus (her elimination from American Idol was QUITE unfair!), and even Kevin Max (some of the things he said in his autobiography Unfinished Work were quite shocking, and not in a good way) have done the same to me as well. You may think it'd be easier to be a celebrity fan, because there's a chance that the entire cast of a movie or show could win, but I disagree. Why? Well, in sports, there's always a loser, but there's also always a winner. In the case of Mean Girls 2, though, everyone lost, including me while I was watching it.
In conclusion, let me say this: On a comment on my note "The Disabled Vs. The Rest of the World," my friend Melissa said, "I find that human beings are afraid of what they don't understand." That's quite true, and it probably explains why my celebrity addiction has caused several people to remove/block me on Facebook. However, even though I have numerous sports fans on my friends list, repeated statuses on that topic have not led to me doing the same to them. I get that most of you don't quite understand why I love Victoria Justice and friends the way I do. Maybe, if you think of it being the same as you being a huge fan of the Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, Donovan McNabb, Yao Ming, or whatever sports team(s)/player(s) you adore, that might help a bit.
Any comments?

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Will I Still Be Your Biggest Fan?

DISCLAIMER: I'm sure most of you friends of mine can guess who I'm talking to in this "parody," but I still want to leave it to interpretation.  This is one of the most personal rewrites I've written in a while.  Enjoy!


WILL I STILL BE YOUR BIGGEST FAN?
To the tune of "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down

Was watching Dancing with the Stars to ease my stressful mind
Then, that commercial came on, and I just felt like I could cry!
Anne's time as desktop queen would be over quite soon
Mere weeks until I switched to you, yeah

I see your face, and I cannot do anything but swoon
I get a light feeling whenever anyone says something about you
With my crush on you, I just feel like a kid
But I'm quite afraid that, too soon, this will end!

CHORUS:
If you do what Anne did, will I still be your biggest fan?
If you just shun evil, will I still dream of being your man?
I'll go on your fan sites, as long as I think it's right!
That alright?

Some say I'm wrong, some say I'm weak
But still your pictures I will keep
Yet, you're still human, so, one day, you might just let me down
Just can't get you out of my head!
V, did you hear what I just said?
I know that I am definitely obsessing now!

REPEAT CHORUS

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK

REPEAT CHORUS

Yeah!

REPEAT CHORUS

Whoa, oh, oh!
(REPEAT UNTIL END)

Monday, May 30, 2011

Visualizing a Musical Problem

I'm sure everyone knows I'm a music lover. On my iPod, I have everything from Victoria Justice (of course, LOL) to Twisted Sister to Josh Groban to Run-DMC to TobyMac to John Williams to Jennifer Lopez to Rascal Flatts to Sara Barielles to the Donnas to Led Zeppelin to Thousand Foot Krutch and then some. I've said before that I'm an entertainment lover, and music is right up there with books, movies and television as one of my favorite types of entertainment.
However, there's something I've been noticing recently, and I'll use an analogy to explain it: During the summer of 2000, I spent a week at a sports day camp at a nearby church. Every day, while we ate lunch, they would have a short Bible lesson for us. One lesson, taught by a high-school-aged girl, began with a story from years ago about marbles, which she said were like Pokémon cards at the time, meaning everyone collected them. She described how, back then, there were some marble-sized balls that came from a X-ray machine, and people loved them because they looked cool; however, they also emitted radiation, which ended up hurting people. The moral of the story was this: There may be things in our lives that we think are cool, but are actually hurting us.
I bring that up for one reason only: Lately, I've wondered if my music is hurting me. Now, I know many Christians talk about lyrical content, but that's not a problem in my collection. Although I listen to some secular music, it's pretty much clean and without any need of censoring. The problem is that some songs, including many I've listened to dozens of times, evoke strange images in my mind.
What kind of images? Well, usually, they involve a person or group of people dancing. It's usually no one specific; the only ones where it's the same person every time are "Valerie" (which makes me think of Valerie Bertinelli getting down; no joke) and "Got My Mind Set On You" (which causes me to see a nameless dark-haired, fair-skinned beauty doing the Monkey). Some songs cause me to see celebrities dancing, but which one(s) I see depends on where and when I'm listening to that song. Other songs evoke video-game-esque battle depictions ("Wizards in Winter"), a grand-finale-like musical sequence ("Section 23: Get Up and Go"), and maybe some other things I'm not thinking of at the moment.
Now, let me be clear: The music-induced visuals are not obscene in any way. If there were some way to put my imagined visuals onto a screen, you would see that the dancing is quite similar to the stuff seen in Camp Rock or Victorious, and the battles are no worse than anything in Super Smash Bros. Melee. Even songs that have an eerie sound, such as Rockwell's "Somebody's Watching Me," don't cause me to see anything scarier than what can be seen on PBS Kids.
You may wonder: If the visuals aren't suggestive or violent, then why are they a problem? Well, simply put: While "seeing" those things, I feel like I'm going nuts. I know that what I'm "seeing" isn't real; however, some people with severe mental disabilities--ones worse than mine, that is--see strange things and insist that they're real. The fact that I'm seeing weird things just because I hear a certain song brings me too close to being like that.
Then again, maybe imagining things while listening to music is common, and I just don't know it. I wouldn't know, but I'd like to hear what you think.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Just One of the Girls?

When I was in sixth grade, there was a big divide in my homeroom's section of the cafeteria. It wasn't based on race, income, or clothes; it was based on gender. All the girls sat together, and all the guys did, too, but they didn't sit with each other...with one exception. A guy in my homeroom sat with the girls and became friends with them. Doing that led to kids labeling him as "gay," but I don't think he was; I think that he just knew how to get along with girls.
Why do I bring that up? Well, even though that incident is over a decade old, it very much echoes my current life. I've admitted more than once in the past that I get along better with girls than I do guys. The most probable reason for me being that way is because I was essentially raised by two women: my mom and my older (by eleven years) sister. I didn't even have anything remotely resembling a father figure until I was almost nine years old.
As most of you reading this probably know, I'd like to get married someday. However, if you've been my friend for a while, you probably also know that my attempts at finding romantic love have always failed. I've often wondered why that's the case. People have mentioned things such as not having a job, or the girl's interests not being similar to mine. However, even when I did have a job, and/or had quite similar interests to the girl I was asking out, I still remained dateless, despite the fact that almost all of my good friends--on and off Facebook--are female. After doing some thinking while experiencing sleeplessness last night, I came up with a theory: Maybe the reason I haven't gotten any dates yet is because girls don't see me as a guy; they see me as another girl.
That may sound quite strange, but I can explain: Just like that sixth grade classmate of mine, I was called "gay" or "a girl" when I was in school, mostly because of my interests. Other guys loved the NFL, graphically violent video games, and leering at scantily clad women. Me? I couldn't have cared less about any type of sports, I refused to even touch any "M" rated games, and the pictures on my binder and desktop were of fully clothed Disney Channel actresses. Who knows what school-aged kids would think of me proudly wearing a Victorious-themed shirt I made myself that imitates the whole "Team Edward"/"Team Jacob" thing, reading novels about wedding planning, or owning DVDs such as Leap Year or Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars? I realize that most people believe kids are just immature and don't know what they're talking about, but, frankly, I think they might be on to something.
I've always thought that being different from other guys would attract a lot of girls. One thing that comes to mind is the early Home Improvement episode where Tim's sports addiction completely ruined a romantic date Jill had planned for them. Since I couldn't care less about sports, any girl who dates me won't have to worry about that! However, after thinking about it last night, I wonder if girls do want a guy who likes things such as sports, tools, and cars, even if they themselves aren't into any of those things. Those things are considered masculine by society, whereas watching romantic comedies and having Josh Groban on your iPod are not. Unfortunately, too many people, including Christians, fall prey to society's standards without realizing it.
Now, here's where you come in: I'd like to get my female friends' perspective on this. If you have a comment you don't want to make public, or if you'd like to have a live conversation about this, send me an e-mail at MacMan4You (at) cox.net or message me on Facebook. I look forward to seeing what you all have to say.

Friday, May 27, 2011

The Ultimate High School Crush (Version 2.0)

DISCLAIMER: This parody, like others I've done on this topic, is meant as a joke. Enjoy!

THE ULTIMATE HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH (VERSION 2.0)
To the tune of "Best Friend's Brother" by Victoria Justice

Never before have I such a great woman known
She's better than the girls on those new Disney shows
Every day, after lunch, her I do get to see
Oh, how I wish she and I could just run off and marry!

PRE-CHORUS:
About her I just cannot stop thinkin'!
I even dreamed about that lady last weekend!
I really wish out with her I could go,
But I don't, don't want my class to know!

CHORUS:
Yeah-eah-eah-eah!
My English teacher is the one for me!
Yeah-eah-eah-eah!
Cute, blond woman with a four-year degree!
Ashley Tisdale?
I don't need her!
'Cause I'm going to make that cute teacher mine!
Yeah-eah-eah-eah!
My English teacher is the one for me!
Ms. Jefferies! (Whoo!)
Ms. Jefferies! (Yeah!)
My English teacher, my English teacher!

I just know that Ms. J should so be my wife,
'Cause I've been a reader for my entire life!
She not only reads, she has kids do it, too!
But, when it's required, I would never say, "Ew!"

REPEAT PRE-CHORUS AND CHORUS

Ms. Jefferies! (Whoo!)
Ms. Jefferies! (Yeah!)
My English teacher, my English teacher!

'Cause she's such a dream, yeah!
You guys know what I mean!
I'm just so twitterpated!

REPEAT CHORUS

Ms. Jefferies! (Whoo!)
Ms. Jefferies! (Yeah!)
My English teacher, my English teacher!
(REPEAT UNTIL END)

[For anyone who has ever had a crush on one of his or her teachers...this one is for you. :) ]

Friday, May 6, 2011

The Jennifer Stone Song

THE JENNIFER STONE SONG
To the tune of "Alone" by Heart and Jacob Lusk

Yes, girl, you are on my desktop
Love seeing you when I click "Start"
Loved you as the new Harriet the Spy
And you were great as crazed Harper!
But, I wish more people truly did know
Oh, about you, the great Jennifer L. Stone!

So, now, I will make your great name known!
The star of Waverly Place and Mean Girls 2!
Every scene that you are in, you own!
You're so great, Jennifer Stone!
You so rock, Jennifer Stone!

For oh so long now I have wanted
To a talented young actress find, oh!
I knew that my search was over
When I saw you play that blogging Spy!
Yes, great places you will go!
With great talent you have been bestowed, Miss Stone!

Ohh…

Can't wait for M: I: Ghost Protocol!
I'll be watching it just so I can see you!
And, it will surely be great, I know!
You're so great, Jennifer Stone!
You so rock, Jennifer Stone!

You're so great, Jennifer Stone!
You so rock, Jennifer Stone!
Miss Stone, Miss Stone!



[For you, Jennifer Stone! You rock!]

Monday, April 25, 2011

Where Are You? (Sarah's Song)

DISCLAIMER: The person specified in this "parody"'s title is not on my friends list.  So, if your name is Sarah, don't ask me why I wrote a song about you, because I didn't.  Unless, of course, you are that person the song describes, but it's quite unlikely she will read this.  Anyway, enjoy!

WHERE ARE YOU? (SARAH'S SONG)
To the tune of "Everytime We Touch" by Cascada


Camp in '98, yeah, that's where you met me.
You were so extremely friendly. (To me!)
I had Scooby madness at that point in time.
Yes, a friend in you I did find!

And every time I think 'bout those memories,
I wonder where you've been and where you are now!
Are you now teaching a class?
Or do you blow glass?
Wish I could find out!
I would give you a hug if I could find you!
I will remember you 'til the day I die!
Where on this planet did you go?
I may never know!
You made me grin wide!

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK

You were a believer,
And, now, so am I!
We may meet again when we die! (Yeah, hat's right!)
Wherever I find you, I hope we can talk!
I can't wait to tell you it all!

'Cause things have changed so much since the late '90s!
I've switched to Tori Justice; I wish she were mine!
I am a proud parodist; I write stuff like this!
No, it's not a crime!
Yeah, I read books for fun; I'm such an addict!
Movies and music are also pastimes!
What about you, though? What's your favorite show?
What's new in your life?

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK

I can never fight those old memories!
They have me smiling; I can't let them die!
You were awesome like that; I wish we could chat!
Maybe in paradise?

[For Sarah, wherever you are, whatever you're doing.  I haven't stopped remembering you, and I hope I never do.  I will see you again one day, although it may not be on this planet.]

Friday, April 15, 2011

The Amy Adams Song

DISCLAIMER: I don't agree with everything in the movies I mention below; frankly, some of them are ones I haven't even seen. Otherwise, enjoy!

THE AMY ADAMS SONG
To the tune of "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" by Nine Days

CHORUS 1:
This is the story of a girl
Whose film Enchanted was loved by the whole world
She made audiences all the world over laugh
Look at that bright red hair; makes me smile!

Two-oh-oh-seven, the year!
Audiences didn't know
That before they'd seen her!
She had guest starred on Smallville,
And in Talledega with Will Ferrell!
But, that witch sent her to Manhattan!
A land where a princess hadn't a clue!
McDreamy was her savior!
He found her, married her!
Saw it; it's true!

That role made Amy what she is today!
Her career jump-started with Disney parody!
Amy Adams is most definitely a great of today!

REPEAT CHORUS 1

After that, she found her way
Into Doubt and Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day!
Some others most did not see,
Like Leap Year or that Moonlight Serenade!
Who could not love her actin'?
Singin' quite well she can also do!
If I see her, I will say, "Hey!"
Getting her autograph would be awesome, too!

No one can look like that actin' that way!
And, it all started with Disney parody!
I truly believe Amy is a great of today!

CHORUS 2:
This is a story of a girl
Who is beloved by the entire world
Doubt, Leap Year, Julie and Julia?
They were great because of her!
Makes me smile!

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK

Well, soon she will star as Miss Lois Lane!
I have zero doubts that she will do great!
Amy Adams, you are a great of today!

This is the story of a girl
Whose film Enchanted was loved by the whole world!
She made audiences all over the world laugh!
Look at that bright red hair!

This is the story of a girl
Whose pretty face is seen by the world!
And those who have seen her acting work
Do absolutely love her!

REPEAT CHORUS 2

Makes me smile!


[For you, Amy Adams! You rock!]