Sunday, May 29, 2011

Just One of the Girls?

When I was in sixth grade, there was a big divide in my homeroom's section of the cafeteria. It wasn't based on race, income, or clothes; it was based on gender. All the girls sat together, and all the guys did, too, but they didn't sit with each other...with one exception. A guy in my homeroom sat with the girls and became friends with them. Doing that led to kids labeling him as "gay," but I don't think he was; I think that he just knew how to get along with girls.
Why do I bring that up? Well, even though that incident is over a decade old, it very much echoes my current life. I've admitted more than once in the past that I get along better with girls than I do guys. The most probable reason for me being that way is because I was essentially raised by two women: my mom and my older (by eleven years) sister. I didn't even have anything remotely resembling a father figure until I was almost nine years old.
As most of you reading this probably know, I'd like to get married someday. However, if you've been my friend for a while, you probably also know that my attempts at finding romantic love have always failed. I've often wondered why that's the case. People have mentioned things such as not having a job, or the girl's interests not being similar to mine. However, even when I did have a job, and/or had quite similar interests to the girl I was asking out, I still remained dateless, despite the fact that almost all of my good friends--on and off Facebook--are female. After doing some thinking while experiencing sleeplessness last night, I came up with a theory: Maybe the reason I haven't gotten any dates yet is because girls don't see me as a guy; they see me as another girl.
That may sound quite strange, but I can explain: Just like that sixth grade classmate of mine, I was called "gay" or "a girl" when I was in school, mostly because of my interests. Other guys loved the NFL, graphically violent video games, and leering at scantily clad women. Me? I couldn't have cared less about any type of sports, I refused to even touch any "M" rated games, and the pictures on my binder and desktop were of fully clothed Disney Channel actresses. Who knows what school-aged kids would think of me proudly wearing a Victorious-themed shirt I made myself that imitates the whole "Team Edward"/"Team Jacob" thing, reading novels about wedding planning, or owning DVDs such as Leap Year or Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars? I realize that most people believe kids are just immature and don't know what they're talking about, but, frankly, I think they might be on to something.
I've always thought that being different from other guys would attract a lot of girls. One thing that comes to mind is the early Home Improvement episode where Tim's sports addiction completely ruined a romantic date Jill had planned for them. Since I couldn't care less about sports, any girl who dates me won't have to worry about that! However, after thinking about it last night, I wonder if girls do want a guy who likes things such as sports, tools, and cars, even if they themselves aren't into any of those things. Those things are considered masculine by society, whereas watching romantic comedies and having Josh Groban on your iPod are not. Unfortunately, too many people, including Christians, fall prey to society's standards without realizing it.
Now, here's where you come in: I'd like to get my female friends' perspective on this. If you have a comment you don't want to make public, or if you'd like to have a live conversation about this, send me an e-mail at MacMan4You (at) or message me on Facebook. I look forward to seeing what you all have to say.

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