Before I start: If you do not consider yourself a Christian, please do not read any further...though all of my friends should keep the title in mind.
In 2008, I did the unthinkable: I left Facebook. As a means to get my thoughts out, I started this blog, and shared it with some of my friends online. Since then, it's undergone name changes, layout modifications, and plenty more...but, it's still standing to this day. It's largely become a place for me to vent my feelings--usually at length--and share them with my friends, though that has gotten me in trouble at times.
So, then, after nine years...why put an end to it? Multiple reasons. First off: I've pretty much hit a wall with my writings. How many times do my friends have to read the story of how I became a Disney Channel fan, or the reasons why I refuse to be in a relationship, or quotations from a former friend that were written just before our friendship went kaput? Oftentimes, when I think I have a new thought, I look back and realize--or somebody tells me--that I've said the same thing already. King Solomon once wrote, "There is nothing new under the sun," and sometimes, I feel like that applies to my writings and feelings, not just the world.
Second off: Instead of sharing at length how I feel, I need to try to understand how others--especially my friends and family--feel. As a longtime computer user, I can tell you that sometimes the things computers tell you--Macs, PCs, whatever--can be misleading. A year or two ago, my Mac told me that my iPad needed to be wiped and reset to factory settings, when the real problem was with the sync cable. I also knew someone who was scared when her PC gave her the infamous "illegal operation" message; she was worried until I told her what it really meant. Since computers can only tell you what they're programmed to say, you have to figure out why they're saying what they are; that can make all the difference in solving tech problems.
It's true with people as well; instead of taking their words at face value, you have to understand the meaning behind them. What's going on at the time and how the person is feeling can change the meaning of their words a great deal. My problem has always been that, when things go wrong, I assume the worst from other people, even if what was done was meant as a kind gesture. Case in point: You may remember hearing about an infamous incident on Memorial Day weekend 2004, where the youth group at the church I was attending at the time took a trip to the beach, and wanted me to come along. Everyone involved was frustrated with me because I refused to attend, and me and the associate minister had an exchange of words via e-mail that led to a personal meeting. The whole time, the incident had me so infuriated that I was proclaiming, "I wish they'd never invited me!" However, now that I think about it, I realized something I didn't before: When they were trying to get me to come, they weren't being jerks; they were trying to get me to do something that didn't involve staring at a screen, and just wanted me to have fun. No, going to the beach is not my idea of fun, but, I still should have respected them for trying to look out for me. If I'd realized their true intentions back then, much of the ensuing fiasco could have been avoided. Similar incidents have happened to me countless times over the years...so, my plan now is to put a stop to it.
Third off: No matter how you try and explain things to people, many of them still won't understand. All the way back in spring of 2000, my mom held a garage sale at our house. It was different than any other we'd ever had, though, because we weren't making a profit from it ourselves; it was to benefit a single mother of four who had lost her home due to being unable to pay her rent. People--mostly from our church--donated all sorts of items for the sale...but, many of them didn't understand what the sale really was. When my mom saw people's donations, she would say, "That's nice; I'd like to have that," and the donors would reply with something to the effect of, "Well, all the money is going to you...so, why don't you just take it?" They were surprised to find out that my mom wasn't making one red cent from that sale. Though the sale was announced during church services by the minister of the congregation, it wasn't his fault; he said that the sale was for that other lady plainly and clearly. The problem was: People were only halfway listening.
Sometimes, I have the same problem: When I say what I say--via whatever medium--people just ignore me, or brush me off, or may hear my words but refuse to consider them. It's almost as if they can't understand the English language. Back in the day, when my mom was dealing with being a single parent with a severely disabled daughter, people didn't understand what it was like to be in such a situation. I used to wonder why my mom didn't try to make others understand...and, now, I realize why: They couldn't possibly know what her situation was like without actually walking a mile in her shoes. So, instead of begging and pleading with them to try to make them get it, she just lived her life the best way she knew how.
My point is: Why do people need to know why I watch the Disney Channel? If someone asks, that's one thing; however, I think most of my friends either already know or don't care.
All right, now for my conclusion: I'm thankful for you friends of mine who are regular readers of my blog. I still plan on staying on Facebook and giving my usual updates, and I may re-post old blogs from time to time...but, this blog is pretty much done. Unless I get some new comments on old posts, which could happen, don't expect to see anything new on this site. Thank you, and God bless.