Most of you reading this already know I was in Scouting for a while...but most of you also wouldn't know that if I never told you, even if you knew me when I was in it, unless you were somehow involved with it yourself. In my daily ponderings, I often think back on my time in Scouting, and what it means to me today. Those weren't my glory days by any stretch of the imagination, so, it's not reminiscing about "the good old days"; it's actually the things I learned from my experience, most of which have nothing to do with camping, tying knots, hiking, and the things that you're actually supposed to learn in Scouting. On this blog and elsewhere, I've often talked at length about my experiences, but, every so often, a new realization comes up, and it causes me to think about what happened back then in ways that I hadn't before. As I had said before about this series of posts, this will be my final word on each topic, and I won't be replying to any comments, though you are free to respond if you wish. Still with me? Then, here we go.
First off: Joining Boy Scouting went against my better judgment, but I did it anyway...and it ended up being worse than I ever could have imagined. In January of 1998, I joined a Cub Scout troop that a friend from church was a member of, and I had fun...but, then, in 2000, I finished Cub Scouting, and it was time for me to cross over to Boy Scouting. However, I almost didn't do it; it was only because my sister insisted, because she felt that I needed to be doing things with other guys. However, there was a serious flaw in her logic: I didn't mind hanging out with people of the same gender--in fact, I often did that during lunchtime at school--but I did mind what everyone knows Boy Scouts do: camping, hiking, etc., all of which everyone who knows me knows is just not my thing. Still, I reluctantly joined the Boy Scout troop my church sponsored...and things just continued to get worse the longer I stayed. Between corrupt leadership, Scouts dropping out left and right (more on both of those later), and extraneous costs (seriously, forty bucks per year just to be a member?), it was just one problem after another. After about thirteen months, my mom had enough and decided to pull the plug on it; she felt that the program was not a good fit for me, which is what I had said from the beginning. Not only that, but, during my time in Scouting--both Cub Scouting and Boy Scouting, that is--they continually bent the rules for my sake, to the point where I had to be the only sixth grader in the country still in Cub Scouting. When people--in Scouting or anywhere else--bent the rules for me in the past, I used to milk it for all it was worth...but, over time, I started to feel bad about it, and that happened in Scouting as well; I began to think that if they kept having to bend the rules for me, I shouldn't even be in it at all.
Second off: It seemed like nobody in my troop actually wanted to be a Boy Scout. Of the millions of boys who have been in Scouting in the past century or so, only about four or five percent have actually completed the program and earned Eagle. Some people would say that the majority of boys who don't are just lazy, or want something for nothing. Maybe, in some cases, that's true...but, in my troop, there were bigger problems going on. I constantly heard Scouts saying that "it's not fun anymore," and some complaints I heard were even worse than that. Probably the worst complaint came from a fellow church member who was also in my troop; when we were all asked to share with the rest of the middle school group what the best and worst times in our lives were, he said, "The worst time in my life was the Klondike Derby." For those who don't know, the Klondike Derby is a camping trip that the Scouts go on every winter. I actually went on that camping trip, too, and didn't enjoy it, either...but I definitely wouldn't call it the worst time in my life; what I said was the worst time in my life was when my neighborhood friends moved, which had nothing to do with Scouting. Many of the Scouts who complained ended up dropping out or, at least, not earning Eagle...but some of them ended up completing the program. Still, when they complained about it like they did, it kind of makes me think that they didn't really want to do it.
My last point before my conclusion: While Boy Scouting may be seen as a moral organization, my experience with it didn't give me that impression. One time, a kid at a camping trip came out of a game of Capture the Flag crying because other Scouts were angrily refusing to play by the rules...and the leader he talked to did absolutely nothing. Another time, on the same trip, some kids went to another part of the campsite, took longer than they were supposed to, and got punished as a result, despite trying to explain that it wasn't their fault...but another kid threw a temper tantrum in front of the whole troop and suffered no consequences at all. The worst one to me, though, was the cereal incident: Long story short, the leaders didn't like the Scouts having cereal and milk for breakfast on camping trips because it was lazy...but the Scouts in my patrol did it anyway, and, because of supposed regulations, the leaders were powerless to stop them. Allegedly, it was supposed to teach leadership skills...but, to me, all that taught was a "devil may care" attitude. Plus, some of the kids in there were trouble; after I left Scouting, I found out that my sister felt that I shouldn't be hanging out with a guy in there who I quickly made friends with, even though she was the main reason I was in there in the first place! Looking back, I agree; he probably wasn't the best person for me to be hanging around, which is why it was probably divine providence that my mom decided to pull me out of Scouting when she did.
Now, for my conclusion: My time in Scouting came to an end nearly a decade and a half ago...so, why talk about it now? Does it really matter anymore? Well, it matters to me, and for more than one reason. As I said, I learned things from that time in my life that have nothing to do with outdoor survival. For one: If I have a bad feeling about something, I should avoid it unless absolutely necessary. Over the years, I've had such feelings--akin to premonitions--about doing other things, and, whether I did them or not, I was proven right. I had a bad feeling about going to church camp back in the summer of 1999; everybody and their mother--even my friends in my neighborhood, who weren't even part of my church--wanted me to go, but I didn't...and, the morning before I would have left, my brand-new computer went on the fritz. If you know me, you know there's no way I could have enjoyed a week away with that looming over my head. More to the point, I had similar feelings about getting a dog back in 2002, but, my mom got one anyway...and during the four years we had him, he was a continual thorn in our sides. My mom got so frustrated with him that, one day, when he escaped from our fenced-in backyard and was running amok around the neighborhood, she said, "He can go and get hit by a car and killed; I don't care!" She eventually did go and get him...but only because she was afraid of getting sued in case he bit someone. I knew from day one that kind of thing would happen...but nobody listened. That may all be in the past, too, but what isn't is the potential of a relationship or the possibility of getting my driver's license. You probably know I've had my doubts about those for quite a while; I used to say that circumstances in my life that stopped me from engaging in those things were a providential hindrance, and I still feel that way to a degree. If what happened with Boy Scouting is any indication--and I feel that it is--then, it doesn't matter what whoever or whatever has to say about my future as a driver or a husband; it's not going to work out, and no amount of encouragement will change that. Another thing that comes to mind: For some, a group like Boy Scouting would be a good place to make friends, because you meet like-minded individuals...but, even though I had some friends in there, most of them were not even remotely like me. I've tried other groups--ones through my church or other churches in the area, and even one for people with the same "condition" as me--and they didn't work out; there was always some issue. When it came to the latter group, the problem was that, despite us having the same "condition," their interests were nothing like mine; they couldn't have cared less about any of the topics that were important to me, and vice versa. Assuming that all people with my "condition" would get along great is like assuming that all Hispanics or people from Arizona would be the best of friends; it smacks of generalization. Even if they do have the same "condition" as me, they don't have my unique experiences. Seriously, do you know anyone else around my age who essentially only had one parent until the time he/she was twenty, and grew up with a severely handicapped sibling, and gained a sibling-in-law (you know what I mean!) when he/she was only eight years old, and became an aunt/uncle when he/she was only a junior in high school? Of course not! While some would say everyone is unique, I would say that some folks are more unique than others...and I know, because I'm one of those people. If you know me, you can't help but agree...right?
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
It's Time for a Change...And One You Won't Believe
In the summer of 1997, I made some friends in the neighborhood. They'd actually lived near me since late 1995, but, it took me a while to get to know them. We played board games, computer games, video games, and even outdoor games (including sports) together, and also did other activities, like selling candy bars to raise money for their wrestling team. However, two years after I met them, they ended up moving a great distance away, and I hardly saw them after that. In the years that followed, I began to lose interest in activities that I used to be unable to quit talking about, including ones I did with them, such as playing outside, and ones we never did together, like attending theme parks. Even almost two years later, during a object lesson for Bible class where we were asked to talk about the worst time in our lives, it was my friends' departure that took the cake.
People started to notice that my activities were limited, and began to become concerned. One person--remember, I don't name names on this blog!--even said in an e-mail, "You need to do things that do NOT involve your computer or CD player!" True, not everything I did back then fell into that category--I also played video games and watched television fairly often--but, I don't think that was her point. For a while, I thought it was about Boy Scouting, since a recent incident during a Scout meeting was part of the reason for that person's e-mail...but, now, I think it was more than just that. She and others wanted me to be a part of the group; to do the things that my friends were doing--well, as long as they were the right things--instead of sitting off all by my lonesome, doing my own thing by my own choice. People knew that, if I'd just things a chance instead of staunchly refusing to try everything anyone suggested, I'd be happier and more well-rounded...but, I still had one excuse after another for why I just couldn't do that.
You've probably heard me talk about how I "hate" certain things that are undoubtedly popular all over the country, if not the world: sports, dogs, theme parks, anything to do with large bodies of water, etc. I used various excuses over the years--everything from negative past experiences to alleged phobias to supposed moral qualms to even my "condition"--as to why I didn't care for them...when, really, it was one thing and one thing only: I considered such activities or entities to be beneath me. If you were a regular Busch Gardens attendee, a proud dog owner, an avid swimmer, or a big-time football fan, I looked down on you for it...and that's what caused me to face persecution and eventual unfriendings. Most people don't have a problem with those who don't like the same things they do; what they have a problem with is those who think what they do makes them superior...and that's the problem I had. It was much like the hypothetical Pharisee whom Jesus spoke of: I was thankful that I was not like those people...but, that attitude was not going to win people to Christ or even garner myself friends.
Over the years, people used to argue with me because they wanted me to join in activities that I outright refused to participate in, and it caused problems. I've mentioned before about a teacher at my high school who was practically begging me to give Busch Gardens a chance...but, she never convinced me to, despite her insistence. For a while, even after graduating, I felt that what she said was harassment, and thought that I should have reported her...but, now I know why she wouldn't give up: My reasoning didn't make sense; I couldn't come up with an actual legitimate reason for me to avoid it...but, I was still unwilling to budge. Seriously, I wouldn't do something I used to talk about doing constantly because my friends moved? What kind of sense does that make? That's not even what my friends would have wanted!
Let me be honest here: Lately, I've felt like a loser. I see my friends on Facebook doing fun things with their friends, and that rarely happens with me. Even when it does, the friends I hang out with are much older than me; almost every time I go out to eat with other people, I'm by far the youngest one at the table. When it comes to coeval people, I just strike out...and, I think that's my own fault. If I hadn't spent years constantly refusing to do the things that most Christians my age consider fun and exciting, I could easily have had people to hang out with and maybe even a significant other. Seriously, how many of you Christian ladies would want to date a guy whose idea of fun is a marathon of superhero cartoons? Didn't think so! Seriously, this way of living is doing me absolutely no good.
So, now, it's time for a change. If I get an opportunity to do something worthwhile, I need to take it; my "entertainment" can wait. That does apply to fun activities, such as theme parks or sporting events, but it also applies to activities that involve work, whether it be around the house or elsewhere. I recently took a major step in the right direction by taking over mowing the lawn; now, I need to progress even further by not being afraid to work regardless of the situation. That includes taking risks and learning new skills, such as getting my driver's license or pursuing a relationship. Also, if I get invited to something--anything worthwhile, really--I need to at least try to take advantage of that opportunity. I'm not going to make new friends and build relationships while sitting around watching Liv & Maddie.
However, I do have one lingering fear: that the damage has already been done. I know that I placed myself in this situation, and I hope that I can get myself out...but I can't help but think that I may be stuck with this. I also know that people care about me, and wouldn't want me to feel like an outcast...but, at this point, I may be one for the rest of my life.
People started to notice that my activities were limited, and began to become concerned. One person--remember, I don't name names on this blog!--even said in an e-mail, "You need to do things that do NOT involve your computer or CD player!" True, not everything I did back then fell into that category--I also played video games and watched television fairly often--but, I don't think that was her point. For a while, I thought it was about Boy Scouting, since a recent incident during a Scout meeting was part of the reason for that person's e-mail...but, now, I think it was more than just that. She and others wanted me to be a part of the group; to do the things that my friends were doing--well, as long as they were the right things--instead of sitting off all by my lonesome, doing my own thing by my own choice. People knew that, if I'd just things a chance instead of staunchly refusing to try everything anyone suggested, I'd be happier and more well-rounded...but, I still had one excuse after another for why I just couldn't do that.
You've probably heard me talk about how I "hate" certain things that are undoubtedly popular all over the country, if not the world: sports, dogs, theme parks, anything to do with large bodies of water, etc. I used various excuses over the years--everything from negative past experiences to alleged phobias to supposed moral qualms to even my "condition"--as to why I didn't care for them...when, really, it was one thing and one thing only: I considered such activities or entities to be beneath me. If you were a regular Busch Gardens attendee, a proud dog owner, an avid swimmer, or a big-time football fan, I looked down on you for it...and that's what caused me to face persecution and eventual unfriendings. Most people don't have a problem with those who don't like the same things they do; what they have a problem with is those who think what they do makes them superior...and that's the problem I had. It was much like the hypothetical Pharisee whom Jesus spoke of: I was thankful that I was not like those people...but, that attitude was not going to win people to Christ or even garner myself friends.
Over the years, people used to argue with me because they wanted me to join in activities that I outright refused to participate in, and it caused problems. I've mentioned before about a teacher at my high school who was practically begging me to give Busch Gardens a chance...but, she never convinced me to, despite her insistence. For a while, even after graduating, I felt that what she said was harassment, and thought that I should have reported her...but, now I know why she wouldn't give up: My reasoning didn't make sense; I couldn't come up with an actual legitimate reason for me to avoid it...but, I was still unwilling to budge. Seriously, I wouldn't do something I used to talk about doing constantly because my friends moved? What kind of sense does that make? That's not even what my friends would have wanted!
Let me be honest here: Lately, I've felt like a loser. I see my friends on Facebook doing fun things with their friends, and that rarely happens with me. Even when it does, the friends I hang out with are much older than me; almost every time I go out to eat with other people, I'm by far the youngest one at the table. When it comes to coeval people, I just strike out...and, I think that's my own fault. If I hadn't spent years constantly refusing to do the things that most Christians my age consider fun and exciting, I could easily have had people to hang out with and maybe even a significant other. Seriously, how many of you Christian ladies would want to date a guy whose idea of fun is a marathon of superhero cartoons? Didn't think so! Seriously, this way of living is doing me absolutely no good.
So, now, it's time for a change. If I get an opportunity to do something worthwhile, I need to take it; my "entertainment" can wait. That does apply to fun activities, such as theme parks or sporting events, but it also applies to activities that involve work, whether it be around the house or elsewhere. I recently took a major step in the right direction by taking over mowing the lawn; now, I need to progress even further by not being afraid to work regardless of the situation. That includes taking risks and learning new skills, such as getting my driver's license or pursuing a relationship. Also, if I get invited to something--anything worthwhile, really--I need to at least try to take advantage of that opportunity. I'm not going to make new friends and build relationships while sitting around watching Liv & Maddie.
However, I do have one lingering fear: that the damage has already been done. I know that I placed myself in this situation, and I hope that I can get myself out...but I can't help but think that I may be stuck with this. I also know that people care about me, and wouldn't want me to feel like an outcast...but, at this point, I may be one for the rest of my life.
Saturday, June 4, 2016
The Last Word On..., No. 4: Crushes
Over the years, especially from 2001 to 2014, I have been well-known for my crushes; in fact, some would say that I still am. Some people have assumed that I had a crush on someone when I actually didn't, whereas sometimes even the real-life friend who was "the object of my affection" had no idea how I felt about her. I was criticized for my crushes, both of the celebrity and real-life variety, as well, including ones about which most of you probably never knew I even had. However, you may be surprised at how the whole crush thing got started...and parts of my crushing history you've never heard previously.
Okay, here come my usual three points. First off: In my case, "crush" usually wasn't the right word. My "condition" has many traits, but, one of the most obvious ones is a tendency to obsess over things, people, places, etc. You probably know that most of my previous obsessions were of the entertainment variety; what you may not know is that I was just as obsessed when there wasn't a lady involved. When I was in elementary school, I was obsessed with a edutainment franchise that started off as a book series; if you know me, you can probably guess which one it was. People said that I had a crush on the lead character, but I didn't; I actually was afraid of her, because I had reality confused with fiction, and I believed she was going to try to take over the world. I didn't have the capability to put images on my desktop back then, but, even if I did, I wouldn't have put her on there. My obsession with that franchise was no different than my fixation on my friends' Nintendo 64; there was no physical attraction there. People with my condition tend to talk about the same things ad nauseam, which others would say is the sign of a crush...but, I never intended it to be one. The same is true of my real-life friends today: Just because I hug, sit with, or regularly talk to or about someone of the opposite gender doesn't mean I have a crush on her. Besides which, if I did, that would be a serious issue, as most of my female friends are currently married or otherwise spoken for relationship-wise.
Second off: I only kept the whole celebrity crush thing going because it entertained people. I don't need to give a whole laundry list of my prior Hollywood flames; if you've paid the least bit of attention to my online postings, you have a good idea who they were. If you knew me when I was in high school, you probably remember the day in March 2005 when I proudly announced to friends, classmates, and even teachers who my new celebrity crush was. While I was made fun of for it--and who wasn't harassed when they were in school?--my friends and others thought the whole thing was entertaining, and had fun with it. It wasn't just kids; my high school Spanish teacher would bring up my celebrity crush even when I didn't, and even bought me a magazine featuring my favorite actress as an out-of-the-blue present, saying, "I saw this and just couldn't resist." Even well after that, when I got my first Verizon phone, I quickly put a picture of my Hollywood love on the main screen, and proceeded to show it to all of my friends at church; while some were unsure of who that woman even was, one of my friends had the best remark: "What would you do if you met her? You probably wouldn't even be able to speak!" Still, some people thought the whole thing was a problem, and many didn't mask their feelings one bit; I just brushed them off back then...but, now, I realize they were right. I should have been like the singer P!nk in her song "U + Ur Hand": "I'm not here for your entertainment!" Seriously, even if it did entertain others, who knows what they were saying about me behind my back? I eventually realized that...but, it sure took a long time.
Lastly: My "crushes" have always been different than most other guys' for one very big reason. My best friend in eighth grade used to get teased about being gay by some other kids because of his style of dress and different interests, but he would always refute it by saying, "Dude, I like girls." While I also like those of the opposite gender, my attraction has mostly been towards women instead of girls. I've liked older women from a young age, and still do. To me, people who are coeval and even younger tend to disgust me because of their immature habits, such as shooting off at the mouth without any regard to how they made the recipient of their words feel, or being prone to fits of anger, i.e., a notorious incident I heard about where someone I knew threw a milkshake at someone else. Of course, people of the same age are all different, but, consider this: Of the few people I'm currently in contact with who don't like me--as most of my prior enemies have had zero contact with me in ages--at least three of them are around my age, and one is a bit younger. Other than one case with someone in her forties who seems to have never left the seventh grade, I don't have that problem with significantly older folks, including those of the female persuasion. In fact, regardless of age or anything else, I tend to get along better with women than guys, which may explain my attraction to them. I don't want to be a womanizer or "skirt-chaser"--that's just wrong!--but, I do enjoy the company of my favorite ladies. Now that I'm grown, females my age and even sometimes younger tend to be more like women and less like girls...but, they aren't always, as I know all too well.
Okay, here come my usual three points. First off: In my case, "crush" usually wasn't the right word. My "condition" has many traits, but, one of the most obvious ones is a tendency to obsess over things, people, places, etc. You probably know that most of my previous obsessions were of the entertainment variety; what you may not know is that I was just as obsessed when there wasn't a lady involved. When I was in elementary school, I was obsessed with a edutainment franchise that started off as a book series; if you know me, you can probably guess which one it was. People said that I had a crush on the lead character, but I didn't; I actually was afraid of her, because I had reality confused with fiction, and I believed she was going to try to take over the world. I didn't have the capability to put images on my desktop back then, but, even if I did, I wouldn't have put her on there. My obsession with that franchise was no different than my fixation on my friends' Nintendo 64; there was no physical attraction there. People with my condition tend to talk about the same things ad nauseam, which others would say is the sign of a crush...but, I never intended it to be one. The same is true of my real-life friends today: Just because I hug, sit with, or regularly talk to or about someone of the opposite gender doesn't mean I have a crush on her. Besides which, if I did, that would be a serious issue, as most of my female friends are currently married or otherwise spoken for relationship-wise.
Second off: I only kept the whole celebrity crush thing going because it entertained people. I don't need to give a whole laundry list of my prior Hollywood flames; if you've paid the least bit of attention to my online postings, you have a good idea who they were. If you knew me when I was in high school, you probably remember the day in March 2005 when I proudly announced to friends, classmates, and even teachers who my new celebrity crush was. While I was made fun of for it--and who wasn't harassed when they were in school?--my friends and others thought the whole thing was entertaining, and had fun with it. It wasn't just kids; my high school Spanish teacher would bring up my celebrity crush even when I didn't, and even bought me a magazine featuring my favorite actress as an out-of-the-blue present, saying, "I saw this and just couldn't resist." Even well after that, when I got my first Verizon phone, I quickly put a picture of my Hollywood love on the main screen, and proceeded to show it to all of my friends at church; while some were unsure of who that woman even was, one of my friends had the best remark: "What would you do if you met her? You probably wouldn't even be able to speak!" Still, some people thought the whole thing was a problem, and many didn't mask their feelings one bit; I just brushed them off back then...but, now, I realize they were right. I should have been like the singer P!nk in her song "U + Ur Hand": "I'm not here for your entertainment!" Seriously, even if it did entertain others, who knows what they were saying about me behind my back? I eventually realized that...but, it sure took a long time.
Lastly: My "crushes" have always been different than most other guys' for one very big reason. My best friend in eighth grade used to get teased about being gay by some other kids because of his style of dress and different interests, but he would always refute it by saying, "Dude, I like girls." While I also like those of the opposite gender, my attraction has mostly been towards women instead of girls. I've liked older women from a young age, and still do. To me, people who are coeval and even younger tend to disgust me because of their immature habits, such as shooting off at the mouth without any regard to how they made the recipient of their words feel, or being prone to fits of anger, i.e., a notorious incident I heard about where someone I knew threw a milkshake at someone else. Of course, people of the same age are all different, but, consider this: Of the few people I'm currently in contact with who don't like me--as most of my prior enemies have had zero contact with me in ages--at least three of them are around my age, and one is a bit younger. Other than one case with someone in her forties who seems to have never left the seventh grade, I don't have that problem with significantly older folks, including those of the female persuasion. In fact, regardless of age or anything else, I tend to get along better with women than guys, which may explain my attraction to them. I don't want to be a womanizer or "skirt-chaser"--that's just wrong!--but, I do enjoy the company of my favorite ladies. Now that I'm grown, females my age and even sometimes younger tend to be more like women and less like girls...but, they aren't always, as I know all too well.
Friday, June 3, 2016
The Last Word On..., No. 3: Sports
I have a checkered history with more topics than I care to mention, but few if any of them seem to be as big of a deal as sports. People everywhere, especially guys, love their ball games, and seem to live for their favorite sport's season...but I just don't, and never have. I've said I hate sports...but that's not true, and I shouldn't say that anyway. It seems that us non-sports fans are in the minority...but we're still out there. I know I am not alone in my dislike for sports...but it sure seems like I am at times.
As usual for this series, I'll make three points, and then I'm done. First off: Saying that I "hate sports" is wrong. If you're a Christian, you're probably familiar with Romans 12:9b: "Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." (NIV) Now, I know we all have different definitions of what is evil; some people would even say that much of my favorite entertainment, whether it be contemporary Christian music, the Disney Channel, or even Star Wars, would fall into that category. However, despite my lifelong dislike for sports, I wouldn't say they were evil or sinful. True, I do believe some people's passion for their favorite teams or athletes could be seen as idolatry...but, that's a far cry from saying sports themselves are evil. When it comes to mainstream entertainment, there's plenty of media that is much more sinful than "the big game" has ever been, and, these days, some of it can be seen on the major networks. Some years ago, I wrote a Facebook note that mentioned Garfield alongside other favorite entertainment entities of mine, and a now-former friend commented, "I like everything you mentioned in your post...well, except Garfield. I'd rather be stuck in a Turkish prison than be forced to watch Garfield." His comment shocked me; even if you don't like the cartoon fat cat, you have to admit there's much worse media out there--pornography, anyone?--than the infamous Tubby Tabby. While I wouldn't watch sports by choice, I wouldn't make such a statement about them at all...because they're not sinful or evil. Even when it comes to places or things, there's a big difference between "hate" and "dislike". Besides which, I have enjoyed movies and books that are about sports; if I truly hated them, would that be the case? Of course not.
Second off: I don't think anyone likes anything shoved in their face...and that's especially true with me and sports. Despite the fact that pretty much everyone who knows me knows how I feel about sports, I've still had them--or their equivalents, such as Boy Scouting--shoved in my face multiple times. More than one person has tried to teach me how to throw a football, even though they had to know I just didn't care. I know I used to say my "condition" prevented me from doing well in sports...but, that wasn't the real reason. People used to tell me that, because my "condition" was high-functioning, I could do anything I wanted to, and I agree...but there's a key word in there: want. I haven't researched it, but, I would imagine that there may be people with the same "condition" as me who have done well in the field of sports, whether on their high school team or professionally, and I say, more power to them; if that's their "thing," then, kudos to them for putting forth the effort. However, it was never my dream to be an athlete or sportsman, whether the next Michael Jordan, a marathon runner, or even an Eagle Scout; that's simply not me. People have tried to get me into sports, and it has never worked; I just never seem to "get" them. When I was little, a doctor I saw suggested my mom put me into what he called "non-competitive sports," and she took him up on it; I was soon signed up for roller skating lessons at the local rink...which I really did not enjoy. When that didn't work out, my mom signed me up for swimming lessons at the local YMCA...and I enjoyed those even less. To this day, every time I see the "Y" where I had those lessons, I cringe inside, even though that was over two decades ago. I don't blame my mom, though; how was she to know that such a thing would happen? Most kids, especially boys, would jump at the chance to hang out at the roller rink or in the pool...but, I wasn't most kids. It's still the same today: To some of you, playing football with the guys or volleyball on the beach may sound like a blast...but, I'd much rather be at home watching the Disney Channel. I know you may think I'm weird, but, if you don't like that...there's the door.
Lastly: It's wrong to look down at any group of people...including sports fans. My Christian friends probably know the parable of the Pharisee who prayed, "God, I thank you that I am not like other people--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector." (NIV) Christians are supposed to be a peculiar people (1 Peter 2:9), but, my different upbringing and my "condition" make even many Christians think I'm rather strange, especially since I'm a guy who doesn't like sports. They may look down on me for that, but, that's on them; I'm responsible for my own actions...but, that road goes both ways. If it's wrong for them to look down on me for being a fan of Liv & Maddie, it's just as wrong for me to look down on them for being fans of the NFL. I've found that people are going to judge others no matter what they do, so, I'll just stick with my true friends: those who respect what I do.
As usual for this series, I'll make three points, and then I'm done. First off: Saying that I "hate sports" is wrong. If you're a Christian, you're probably familiar with Romans 12:9b: "Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." (NIV) Now, I know we all have different definitions of what is evil; some people would even say that much of my favorite entertainment, whether it be contemporary Christian music, the Disney Channel, or even Star Wars, would fall into that category. However, despite my lifelong dislike for sports, I wouldn't say they were evil or sinful. True, I do believe some people's passion for their favorite teams or athletes could be seen as idolatry...but, that's a far cry from saying sports themselves are evil. When it comes to mainstream entertainment, there's plenty of media that is much more sinful than "the big game" has ever been, and, these days, some of it can be seen on the major networks. Some years ago, I wrote a Facebook note that mentioned Garfield alongside other favorite entertainment entities of mine, and a now-former friend commented, "I like everything you mentioned in your post...well, except Garfield. I'd rather be stuck in a Turkish prison than be forced to watch Garfield." His comment shocked me; even if you don't like the cartoon fat cat, you have to admit there's much worse media out there--pornography, anyone?--than the infamous Tubby Tabby. While I wouldn't watch sports by choice, I wouldn't make such a statement about them at all...because they're not sinful or evil. Even when it comes to places or things, there's a big difference between "hate" and "dislike". Besides which, I have enjoyed movies and books that are about sports; if I truly hated them, would that be the case? Of course not.
Second off: I don't think anyone likes anything shoved in their face...and that's especially true with me and sports. Despite the fact that pretty much everyone who knows me knows how I feel about sports, I've still had them--or their equivalents, such as Boy Scouting--shoved in my face multiple times. More than one person has tried to teach me how to throw a football, even though they had to know I just didn't care. I know I used to say my "condition" prevented me from doing well in sports...but, that wasn't the real reason. People used to tell me that, because my "condition" was high-functioning, I could do anything I wanted to, and I agree...but there's a key word in there: want. I haven't researched it, but, I would imagine that there may be people with the same "condition" as me who have done well in the field of sports, whether on their high school team or professionally, and I say, more power to them; if that's their "thing," then, kudos to them for putting forth the effort. However, it was never my dream to be an athlete or sportsman, whether the next Michael Jordan, a marathon runner, or even an Eagle Scout; that's simply not me. People have tried to get me into sports, and it has never worked; I just never seem to "get" them. When I was little, a doctor I saw suggested my mom put me into what he called "non-competitive sports," and she took him up on it; I was soon signed up for roller skating lessons at the local rink...which I really did not enjoy. When that didn't work out, my mom signed me up for swimming lessons at the local YMCA...and I enjoyed those even less. To this day, every time I see the "Y" where I had those lessons, I cringe inside, even though that was over two decades ago. I don't blame my mom, though; how was she to know that such a thing would happen? Most kids, especially boys, would jump at the chance to hang out at the roller rink or in the pool...but, I wasn't most kids. It's still the same today: To some of you, playing football with the guys or volleyball on the beach may sound like a blast...but, I'd much rather be at home watching the Disney Channel. I know you may think I'm weird, but, if you don't like that...there's the door.
Lastly: It's wrong to look down at any group of people...including sports fans. My Christian friends probably know the parable of the Pharisee who prayed, "God, I thank you that I am not like other people--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector." (NIV) Christians are supposed to be a peculiar people (1 Peter 2:9), but, my different upbringing and my "condition" make even many Christians think I'm rather strange, especially since I'm a guy who doesn't like sports. They may look down on me for that, but, that's on them; I'm responsible for my own actions...but, that road goes both ways. If it's wrong for them to look down on me for being a fan of Liv & Maddie, it's just as wrong for me to look down on them for being fans of the NFL. I've found that people are going to judge others no matter what they do, so, I'll just stick with my true friends: those who respect what I do.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
The Last Word On..., No. 2: My Interests
If you know me, you know what my interests are, and that they're more than just hobbies; they're passions, and things I can't help but talk about quite often. I've learned that my interests aren't typical, and I hardly expect anyone I meet to do even half of the same activities that I often do; if they do, though, more power to them. Still, they are a big deal to me...as you probably know all too well.
As usual for this series of posts, I will have three points. First off: If you want to be my friend, you've got to respect my interests. Like many kids of my generation, I used to collect Pokémon cards; I still did so after most of my classmates and friends thought it was "uncool". One of the last times I got any was when I sent my mom--I couldn't go with her because of our family situation at the time--to get a booster pack of a newly released set of the trading cards. It turned out they were first edition, which made them more valuable, and there was a card in there that was supposedly worth a whole bunch of money. When I told my mom about that, she said something to the effect of, "That's an expensive card; you better take care of it." Some time later, I was talking to someone else--remember, I don't name names on here!--about the incident, and that person said that anyone could say the same thing; it didn't mean they cared. Years later, I was playing a Pokémon game on my GameCube, and was trying to perform a difficult task--I'll spare you the details in case you're Pokémon-illiterate--but wasn't having much luck. I turned it off and went back into the living room, when my mom noticed the frustrating look on my face and asked what was wrong. I explained to her in general terms--like I did above--what was bothering me, and then added, "I know you don't care," thinking back on that previous conversation. My mom said that she knew those games were important to me, and that she wanted me to do well in them...which means that other individual was wrong. If you're my friend, I expect the same from you: You know what's important to me, so, respect it even if you don't like it yourself. My Christian friends--who probably make up most if not all of the people reading this--are probably familiar with the verse that says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." In my nearly ten years, I've seen lots of rejoicing on Facebook: "I'm engaged!" "We're having a baby!" "I've got a new job!" "We're going to be grandparents!" "I just got this big award!" There's also been lots of sadness on Facebook: people have lost family members, suffered debilitating injuries, been through divorces, lost their homes, etc. Those are big things, and an emotional response is normal...but, even if you don't jump for joy or bawl your eyes out, other events can affect you emotionally as well. I was recently crushed when I found out that MovieStop, one of my longtime favorite stores, is going out of business soon. I was a loyal customer, and trading in DVDs at FYE, if I even choose to do that, won't be the same. On the same token, I was very happy to find out that Disney Channel will be showing all of the original movies they've ever made soon, and even releasing them all on iTunes as well. When my friends heard about those events, they reacted appropriately...which is just what friends should do.
Second off: Anyone who fakes their support for my interests is not really my friend. We all know the story of an unfortunate comment I made that led to the ending of a friendship; what you may not know is that the other party was once a big supporter of my interests...only to do a complete 180 on that front. Previously, she had gone out of her way to support my "love"--I don't really know what else to call it--for Victoria Justice, both on Facebook and in person, which was a breath of fresh air compared to all the flak my interests had been getting pretty much my whole life. After our falling out, though, she said something that shocked me to the core: "Are [your parents] not concerned that you are a 24 year old [sic] man crushing on teenaged [sic] actresses?" How could she have turned on me like that? She had previously been the poster girl for what a friend of mine should be...and she had a problem with the whole thing all along, even though she was one of its biggest supporters? Honestly, I'd seen the same thing before; the associate minister/youth leader at my old church seemed to respect when I declined to join the rest of the high schoolers making a banner for Relay for Life, because I didn't want them to end up with a messed up one, only to tear into me for doing so some time later after a completely different incident. He stood there and spoke in my defense in front of the whole class...but he didn't believe it himself. Both incidents were heartbreaking, but I know I'll end up dealing with such behavior again. I hate to be blunt, but I don't know how else to say this: If you're not serious about your support for me and what I do...then get off my friends list, NOW!
Lastly: I'm definitely not the only one who takes my entertainment seriously. I often define entertainment as "books, movies, music, and television"...but, that's not everyone's definition. Many people consider sports a big source of entertainment, and make a big deal of it...just like I do with my shows and such. Even if you're not into ball games, maybe you're a big Broadway fan, or you're ardently enthused about history. We all have our thing(s), and you know what mine are; now, my question is: What is/are yours?
As usual for this series of posts, I will have three points. First off: If you want to be my friend, you've got to respect my interests. Like many kids of my generation, I used to collect Pokémon cards; I still did so after most of my classmates and friends thought it was "uncool". One of the last times I got any was when I sent my mom--I couldn't go with her because of our family situation at the time--to get a booster pack of a newly released set of the trading cards. It turned out they were first edition, which made them more valuable, and there was a card in there that was supposedly worth a whole bunch of money. When I told my mom about that, she said something to the effect of, "That's an expensive card; you better take care of it." Some time later, I was talking to someone else--remember, I don't name names on here!--about the incident, and that person said that anyone could say the same thing; it didn't mean they cared. Years later, I was playing a Pokémon game on my GameCube, and was trying to perform a difficult task--I'll spare you the details in case you're Pokémon-illiterate--but wasn't having much luck. I turned it off and went back into the living room, when my mom noticed the frustrating look on my face and asked what was wrong. I explained to her in general terms--like I did above--what was bothering me, and then added, "I know you don't care," thinking back on that previous conversation. My mom said that she knew those games were important to me, and that she wanted me to do well in them...which means that other individual was wrong. If you're my friend, I expect the same from you: You know what's important to me, so, respect it even if you don't like it yourself. My Christian friends--who probably make up most if not all of the people reading this--are probably familiar with the verse that says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." In my nearly ten years, I've seen lots of rejoicing on Facebook: "I'm engaged!" "We're having a baby!" "I've got a new job!" "We're going to be grandparents!" "I just got this big award!" There's also been lots of sadness on Facebook: people have lost family members, suffered debilitating injuries, been through divorces, lost their homes, etc. Those are big things, and an emotional response is normal...but, even if you don't jump for joy or bawl your eyes out, other events can affect you emotionally as well. I was recently crushed when I found out that MovieStop, one of my longtime favorite stores, is going out of business soon. I was a loyal customer, and trading in DVDs at FYE, if I even choose to do that, won't be the same. On the same token, I was very happy to find out that Disney Channel will be showing all of the original movies they've ever made soon, and even releasing them all on iTunes as well. When my friends heard about those events, they reacted appropriately...which is just what friends should do.
Second off: Anyone who fakes their support for my interests is not really my friend. We all know the story of an unfortunate comment I made that led to the ending of a friendship; what you may not know is that the other party was once a big supporter of my interests...only to do a complete 180 on that front. Previously, she had gone out of her way to support my "love"--I don't really know what else to call it--for Victoria Justice, both on Facebook and in person, which was a breath of fresh air compared to all the flak my interests had been getting pretty much my whole life. After our falling out, though, she said something that shocked me to the core: "Are [your parents] not concerned that you are a 24 year old [sic] man crushing on teenaged [sic] actresses?" How could she have turned on me like that? She had previously been the poster girl for what a friend of mine should be...and she had a problem with the whole thing all along, even though she was one of its biggest supporters? Honestly, I'd seen the same thing before; the associate minister/youth leader at my old church seemed to respect when I declined to join the rest of the high schoolers making a banner for Relay for Life, because I didn't want them to end up with a messed up one, only to tear into me for doing so some time later after a completely different incident. He stood there and spoke in my defense in front of the whole class...but he didn't believe it himself. Both incidents were heartbreaking, but I know I'll end up dealing with such behavior again. I hate to be blunt, but I don't know how else to say this: If you're not serious about your support for me and what I do...then get off my friends list, NOW!
Lastly: I'm definitely not the only one who takes my entertainment seriously. I often define entertainment as "books, movies, music, and television"...but, that's not everyone's definition. Many people consider sports a big source of entertainment, and make a big deal of it...just like I do with my shows and such. Even if you're not into ball games, maybe you're a big Broadway fan, or you're ardently enthused about history. We all have our thing(s), and you know what mine are; now, my question is: What is/are yours?
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
The Last Word On..., No. 1: Relationships
Before I start, an introduction to this series: These posts will be my last--yes, that means final--ones on topics that I've been going on and on about pretty much since I joined social networking, and, to a degree, before that; just not publicly online. I also will limit myself to no more than four paragraphs, as I was recently challenged to do by a friend. Since this is just an opening, it doesn't count; still, these will not be the long ramblings you're used to seeing. My intent is to just say what I need to say and move on; unless something big changes on one of these fronts, I won't say anything more about them. That may mean that, after I finish these, my blogging days are over...but, that's fine with me. Still with me? Then, here we go.
Most of you reading this are likely in serious relationships, and probably have been for a while. While that's great for you--that is, as long as your relationship is a happy one; we all know plenty are not!--I can't fight the feeling that one just isn't for me. Yes, I've said that for quite a while; still, there are three very important reasons why I hold that belief, and they just can't be ignored.
First off: Do I even know what a relationship is? I'm not sure I do! You probably remember these oft-quoted words from a former friend of mine: "I believe you have some unrealistic expectations of how relationships develop and function. They are not instantaneous, and ones that last are not easy. Whether romantic or platonic, relationships are a lot of work. They require mutual respect and consideration. [...] When you’ve talked about marriage, it’s always been about the ways you would benefit. What will you bring to a marriage? This is not about income. You’ll need to be her friend, her shoulder to cry on, and her sounding board. She’s not always going to agree with you. Will she just always be wrong (Because you know you’re not going to marry a woman who is always picking on you.)?" Seriously, a relationship isn't a hopeless crush on your fresh-out-of-college homeroom teacher; it isn't plastering pictures of a Disney Channel actress all over your walls and your binder; it isn't hunting online for every tidbit of information you can find about a high school classmate, down to an Amazon wishlist she made ages ago. Despite what romance movies will tell you, things like that take time and work...and I seriously doubt I have what it takes to keep one going. Just like when you welcome a new child into your house, when you get into a serious relationship, everything changes; it's not life as normal anymore. However, I like my normal life; if I were to have to constantly worry about keeping my girlfriend or wife happy, I'd go crazy. Our household pets--a chihuahua and elderly tabby cat--only have basic needs, and they still drive me insane with their constant reliance on me to feed them, water them, etc. You know the old saying, "If it's not broke, don't fix it"? Well, my life is not broken...so, don't mess with it!
Second off: How could any woman expect to compete with my loves? No, I'm not talking about my celebrity crushes; we all know that's a thing of the past. I'm not even talking about my friends, most of whom are female, though I do love them; after all, doesn't the Bible say, "A friend loves at all times"? What I'm talking about are my favorite activities. You know what they are: Disney Channel, bargain hunting, Christian music, reading, etc. For me, they're not just hobbies; they're passions. You probably know from my Facebook posts how important they are to me; now, do you think any single woman would want to compete with that? Some weeks ago, I saw a Facebook post from a recently divorced friend who was using a viral image to lament about how her ex put his job and his hobbies before her, and she hated it. Well, honestly, I can't say that I wouldn't do the same thing; to me, a life without my interests simply isn't worth living. I take my dislikes just as seriously; you all know I was none too happy back in 2002 when my mom decided to bring a dog home. To me, he wasn't a pet; he was an attack on all I held dear...and I still feel that way about our current dog; he just complicates everything further, and I can't help but think our lives would be easier sans any pets. Maybe someday I'll get my wish and have a pet-free home; at this point, I can only hope.
Third off: One of my biggest fears is getting romantically involved with the wrong person...and it seems all too likely! You probably know I'm a child of divorce, so, I learned at a young age how relationships--including marriages--can go wrong. Here's something you may not know: When it comes to people I personally know or am regularly in contact with, there are some I respect...and some I don't. Whether or not I respect them depends solely on their actions towards me: If they're nice and kind to me, I can respect that...but, if they treat me like dirt, I can't respect them. Unfortunately, too many people I've known--classmates, teachers, even fellow church members--have fallen into the latter category; they act like a jerk, and show no remorse for their unthinkable actions. What makes it worse is that, when trying to get others--including authority figures--to intervene, they refuse to do anything, and instead pin the blame on me, as if the offending party is in no way responsible for their actions. You wouldn't believe the laudatory terms people have used to describe thorns in my side: "They're the best friends you've ever had!" "He likes you and you don't even know it!" "She is your biggest advocate!" It's all nonsense to me; I'm the kind of person who will call a spade a spade...and a jerk a jerk. My fear with marriage is that I'll end up wed to yet another thorn, who will do like the others did and treat me like dirt...and nobody will listen when I try to tell them what that woman is doing to me. I'm not going to list names, but, you'd be surprised just who the thorns in my side have been.
Most of you reading this are likely in serious relationships, and probably have been for a while. While that's great for you--that is, as long as your relationship is a happy one; we all know plenty are not!--I can't fight the feeling that one just isn't for me. Yes, I've said that for quite a while; still, there are three very important reasons why I hold that belief, and they just can't be ignored.
First off: Do I even know what a relationship is? I'm not sure I do! You probably remember these oft-quoted words from a former friend of mine: "I believe you have some unrealistic expectations of how relationships develop and function. They are not instantaneous, and ones that last are not easy. Whether romantic or platonic, relationships are a lot of work. They require mutual respect and consideration. [...] When you’ve talked about marriage, it’s always been about the ways you would benefit. What will you bring to a marriage? This is not about income. You’ll need to be her friend, her shoulder to cry on, and her sounding board. She’s not always going to agree with you. Will she just always be wrong (Because you know you’re not going to marry a woman who is always picking on you.)?" Seriously, a relationship isn't a hopeless crush on your fresh-out-of-college homeroom teacher; it isn't plastering pictures of a Disney Channel actress all over your walls and your binder; it isn't hunting online for every tidbit of information you can find about a high school classmate, down to an Amazon wishlist she made ages ago. Despite what romance movies will tell you, things like that take time and work...and I seriously doubt I have what it takes to keep one going. Just like when you welcome a new child into your house, when you get into a serious relationship, everything changes; it's not life as normal anymore. However, I like my normal life; if I were to have to constantly worry about keeping my girlfriend or wife happy, I'd go crazy. Our household pets--a chihuahua and elderly tabby cat--only have basic needs, and they still drive me insane with their constant reliance on me to feed them, water them, etc. You know the old saying, "If it's not broke, don't fix it"? Well, my life is not broken...so, don't mess with it!
Second off: How could any woman expect to compete with my loves? No, I'm not talking about my celebrity crushes; we all know that's a thing of the past. I'm not even talking about my friends, most of whom are female, though I do love them; after all, doesn't the Bible say, "A friend loves at all times"? What I'm talking about are my favorite activities. You know what they are: Disney Channel, bargain hunting, Christian music, reading, etc. For me, they're not just hobbies; they're passions. You probably know from my Facebook posts how important they are to me; now, do you think any single woman would want to compete with that? Some weeks ago, I saw a Facebook post from a recently divorced friend who was using a viral image to lament about how her ex put his job and his hobbies before her, and she hated it. Well, honestly, I can't say that I wouldn't do the same thing; to me, a life without my interests simply isn't worth living. I take my dislikes just as seriously; you all know I was none too happy back in 2002 when my mom decided to bring a dog home. To me, he wasn't a pet; he was an attack on all I held dear...and I still feel that way about our current dog; he just complicates everything further, and I can't help but think our lives would be easier sans any pets. Maybe someday I'll get my wish and have a pet-free home; at this point, I can only hope.
Third off: One of my biggest fears is getting romantically involved with the wrong person...and it seems all too likely! You probably know I'm a child of divorce, so, I learned at a young age how relationships--including marriages--can go wrong. Here's something you may not know: When it comes to people I personally know or am regularly in contact with, there are some I respect...and some I don't. Whether or not I respect them depends solely on their actions towards me: If they're nice and kind to me, I can respect that...but, if they treat me like dirt, I can't respect them. Unfortunately, too many people I've known--classmates, teachers, even fellow church members--have fallen into the latter category; they act like a jerk, and show no remorse for their unthinkable actions. What makes it worse is that, when trying to get others--including authority figures--to intervene, they refuse to do anything, and instead pin the blame on me, as if the offending party is in no way responsible for their actions. You wouldn't believe the laudatory terms people have used to describe thorns in my side: "They're the best friends you've ever had!" "He likes you and you don't even know it!" "She is your biggest advocate!" It's all nonsense to me; I'm the kind of person who will call a spade a spade...and a jerk a jerk. My fear with marriage is that I'll end up wed to yet another thorn, who will do like the others did and treat me like dirt...and nobody will listen when I try to tell them what that woman is doing to me. I'm not going to list names, but, you'd be surprised just who the thorns in my side have been.
Monday, April 25, 2016
On Overcoming Adversity
Before I start, I'll say this: I recently made a declaration on Facebook that I am not going to ramble anymore. Therefore, this post will be shorter than usual for me, and I'll cut down on the unnecessary details. Hopefully, this will make my posts and writings in general more accessible.
I know someone--remember, I don't name names on here!--who has said for a long time that she doesn't like certain songs because they remind her of bad experiences from her past. However, I know this person well enough to know that those songs don't match her tastes in music anyway; she probably wouldn't like them even if it weren't for those past incidents. That doesn't make those memories any more pleasant, though.
Like her and pretty much anyone else, I have bad memories from throughout my past, too; however, mine often involve activities that I enjoy or, at least, used to; since I've always been a talker, I tended to be rather outspoken about my favorite shows, celebrities, comic strips, video/computer games, etc. I honestly can't think of anything that I've ever enjoyed doing that I wasn't persecuted for somehow; the only things I did that I wasn't persecuted for were ones I hated, like Boy Scouting or AVID. If I avoided absolutely anything that could bring back a bad memory, I'd do nothing but eat, sleep, and stare off into space; seriously, you never know when a Disney Channel episode or a Christian novel could trigger something like that.
Despite being persecuted for what I liked to do, I kept doing it until I felt it was time to move on to something else. In recent years, I've rediscovered some of my childhood favorites, ranging from Lizzie McGuire to Power Rangers; yes, I was made fun of for being a fan of those as well. However, I'm not about to let my naysayers dictate what I can and can't do in my spare time; really, it's none of their business. If anything, those people's attacks made me all the more determined to spend time involved in my favorite activities.
You may think that it was just punk kids who were bullying me that were at fault, but that's not always the case. Sometimes, adults were just as guilty if not more so...and, sometimes, the fault was entirely mine; I wouldn't have gotten such a reaction if I had just kept my mouth shut. Not only that, but...when I think back on how my favorite show was all I could talk, write, or think about...well, that's just disturbing. Frankly, I can see why people got annoyed with me back then.
Even though it's been years since all that took place, the memories are still there, and they pop up pretty much every day. Sure, I may not be watching one of those shows or looking up something online about one of those games...but, there are references to them pretty much everywhere I look, ranging from the places I shop at--garage sales, MovieStop, thrift stores, etc.--to Facebook to even at church; you never know what my friends may be talking about at a potluck or other social function!
Okay, so some "advocate" threw a hissy fit when I made a reference to Mork & Mindy; so some punk kid bullied me for being a Scooby-Doo fan; so I thought The Magic School Bus was real. So what? That doesn't really matter; if I want to do it, as long as it's morally right, why shouldn't I? As we all know, people are going to judge me and criticize me no matter what I do!
I have two concluding points. First off, that road goes other ways as well. If nobody--well, other than my parents and God--has the right to take away what I enjoy, they also have no right to shove their idea of "fun" down my throat. Last year, I briefly considered trying my hand at running a marathon per some people's suggestions...and it went absolutely nowhere. You may think that I used my "condition" as my excuse, but, I stopped doing that years ago; I'm sure there are people who have the same "condition" I do, or maybe even a worse case of autism, who have successfully run a marathon...and, I say, more power to them. My problem was that the drive just wasn't there; someone or even a group of people saying, "Well, I think this is a good idea," is not enough motivation for something that's never been on my bucket list. Not only that, but...I also don't have the right to make other people do what I want them to; in fact, I've lost friends because people got tired of repeated requests to read my blog or chat with me on Facebook's instant messenger.
Second off: When it comes to the past incidents I was speaking of, I think I could classify most of them as emotional abuse...but, the parties responsible probably didn't think of what they were doing that way; they may have thought it was just a joke or, believe it or not, that they were doing me a favor. Human logic is a very flawed thing; just look at how those who have done the unthinkable--ranging from the shooters at Columbine to Osama bin Laden--felt justified in their actions! That's actually why I don't want to get married: I'm afraid of opening myself up to emotional abuse. You may say that a Christian woman would never do that, but, it happens in marriages--even ones where both members follow the Way--all the time. The problem with emotional abuse is that people--not just women; men can do it, too--don't even realize what it is they're doing; they say, "I'm just speaking my mind!", "Somebody's got to tell you this!", "Can't you take a joke?", or something to that effect. My fear when it comes to marriage is either that the emotional abuse will start right after the honeymoon, or that our life together will start out sweet and innocent...only for something in her to snap, and our relationship will never be the same after that. I've already suffered through enough emotional abuse for a lifetime; I don't need any more.
I know someone--remember, I don't name names on here!--who has said for a long time that she doesn't like certain songs because they remind her of bad experiences from her past. However, I know this person well enough to know that those songs don't match her tastes in music anyway; she probably wouldn't like them even if it weren't for those past incidents. That doesn't make those memories any more pleasant, though.
Like her and pretty much anyone else, I have bad memories from throughout my past, too; however, mine often involve activities that I enjoy or, at least, used to; since I've always been a talker, I tended to be rather outspoken about my favorite shows, celebrities, comic strips, video/computer games, etc. I honestly can't think of anything that I've ever enjoyed doing that I wasn't persecuted for somehow; the only things I did that I wasn't persecuted for were ones I hated, like Boy Scouting or AVID. If I avoided absolutely anything that could bring back a bad memory, I'd do nothing but eat, sleep, and stare off into space; seriously, you never know when a Disney Channel episode or a Christian novel could trigger something like that.
Despite being persecuted for what I liked to do, I kept doing it until I felt it was time to move on to something else. In recent years, I've rediscovered some of my childhood favorites, ranging from Lizzie McGuire to Power Rangers; yes, I was made fun of for being a fan of those as well. However, I'm not about to let my naysayers dictate what I can and can't do in my spare time; really, it's none of their business. If anything, those people's attacks made me all the more determined to spend time involved in my favorite activities.
You may think that it was just punk kids who were bullying me that were at fault, but that's not always the case. Sometimes, adults were just as guilty if not more so...and, sometimes, the fault was entirely mine; I wouldn't have gotten such a reaction if I had just kept my mouth shut. Not only that, but...when I think back on how my favorite show was all I could talk, write, or think about...well, that's just disturbing. Frankly, I can see why people got annoyed with me back then.
Even though it's been years since all that took place, the memories are still there, and they pop up pretty much every day. Sure, I may not be watching one of those shows or looking up something online about one of those games...but, there are references to them pretty much everywhere I look, ranging from the places I shop at--garage sales, MovieStop, thrift stores, etc.--to Facebook to even at church; you never know what my friends may be talking about at a potluck or other social function!
Okay, so some "advocate" threw a hissy fit when I made a reference to Mork & Mindy; so some punk kid bullied me for being a Scooby-Doo fan; so I thought The Magic School Bus was real. So what? That doesn't really matter; if I want to do it, as long as it's morally right, why shouldn't I? As we all know, people are going to judge me and criticize me no matter what I do!
I have two concluding points. First off, that road goes other ways as well. If nobody--well, other than my parents and God--has the right to take away what I enjoy, they also have no right to shove their idea of "fun" down my throat. Last year, I briefly considered trying my hand at running a marathon per some people's suggestions...and it went absolutely nowhere. You may think that I used my "condition" as my excuse, but, I stopped doing that years ago; I'm sure there are people who have the same "condition" I do, or maybe even a worse case of autism, who have successfully run a marathon...and, I say, more power to them. My problem was that the drive just wasn't there; someone or even a group of people saying, "Well, I think this is a good idea," is not enough motivation for something that's never been on my bucket list. Not only that, but...I also don't have the right to make other people do what I want them to; in fact, I've lost friends because people got tired of repeated requests to read my blog or chat with me on Facebook's instant messenger.
Second off: When it comes to the past incidents I was speaking of, I think I could classify most of them as emotional abuse...but, the parties responsible probably didn't think of what they were doing that way; they may have thought it was just a joke or, believe it or not, that they were doing me a favor. Human logic is a very flawed thing; just look at how those who have done the unthinkable--ranging from the shooters at Columbine to Osama bin Laden--felt justified in their actions! That's actually why I don't want to get married: I'm afraid of opening myself up to emotional abuse. You may say that a Christian woman would never do that, but, it happens in marriages--even ones where both members follow the Way--all the time. The problem with emotional abuse is that people--not just women; men can do it, too--don't even realize what it is they're doing; they say, "I'm just speaking my mind!", "Somebody's got to tell you this!", "Can't you take a joke?", or something to that effect. My fear when it comes to marriage is either that the emotional abuse will start right after the honeymoon, or that our life together will start out sweet and innocent...only for something in her to snap, and our relationship will never be the same after that. I've already suffered through enough emotional abuse for a lifetime; I don't need any more.
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