|This was me!|
- Everyone must watch the Disney Channel.
- No one is to watch sports; they are to be outlawed in the USA and banished from the face of the earth.
- Everyone must play Nintendo GameCube.
- No one is to go to any place involving large bodies of water, including a beach, pool, or water park.
As inane as it sounds, that was how I lived. It's one thing to like things that others don't, or find something that is supposedly "popular" to be overrated; however, trying to make others do as you do is just wrong. Still, I regularly protested and complained about the fact that no one else was doing as I was; I simply felt that they should.
The complaints and protests didn't stop there, though. Many times, I would make it sound like I had the worst living situation of anyone on the planet, just because I didn't get exactly what I wanted, when I wanted it. Sure, I had plenty of computer games...but I wanted more! I had the chance to do household chores or run laps around the backyard to earn Beanie Babies...but I refused to put forth any effort, and then regularly lamented because I didn't have as many as my fellow-collector friends. I was regularly shedding tears over anything and everything, without realizing how good I had it. Some of my friends and associates back then had parents who were abusive, dead, imprisoned, destitute, or just simply didn't care about their kids. The fact that I had a loving family, with food to eat and clothes to wear, meant I was plenty blessed, no matter how many CD-ROMs or stuffed dolls with heart tags I owned...but good luck explaining that to my greedy former self. Back then, it was all about me, me, and me.
For the past week or two, I have been feeling the effects of chronic frustration. It just seems like I want to lash out at someone, though I've restrained myself from doing that so far. Still, I think that this perpetual frustration is nothing new; a psychiatric report that was done on me as a kid even said, "As a baby, he was fine, though notably fussy." I've always had a bit of a chip on my shoulder; it was just easier to complain or protest whatever I didn't like instead of letting it go.
However, such an attitude is wrong: Philippians 2:14 and James 5:9 warn about the sin of complaining, aka grumbling. Though that may be a big part of my past, it's not something that can't be overcome. It doesn't really matter what kind of technology or job or relationship some friend or acquaintance might have; after all, since I "think differently," what "everyone else" has probably wouldn't work for me, anyway. It may be easier to lament about what or who I don't have, but not only does that make me unhappy, it also causes me to be unable to see what/who I really do have.
So, it's time to stop having a complaining, protesting attitude. It doesn't do me or anyone else any good; in fact, all it causes is strife, more so for me than others. If I'm going to make my life better for myself, I need to start by accepting my situation in life, which isn't as bad as I have made it seem.
I will end by saying this: Some of you reading this may have been part of actual protest marches, whether on one political side or another. No matter which side you were/are on, you probably are of the belief that, if your protest worked, it would be better for the general public, and who is to judge you for that? My protests were a little bit different: Instead of being better for many people, what I wanted would have just improved things for me, while causing everyone else to suffer. If some super-hacker made all the TVs in the United States show nothing but the Disney Channel, our entire nation would be in a rage, and the one responsible, if he/she ever got caught, would be the most hated individual in the history of our nation, if not the world...yet, that's exactly what I wanted to happen. People don't deserve to have their favorite things taken away just because somebody else doesn't care for them; I wouldn't want to be unable to watch Austin & Ally any more than you would want to give up your sports or whatever hobby you might have. No matter how you slice it, my "protests" were for all the wrong reasons...and I know that fully now.