Tuesday, September 24, 2013

What I Like About... No. 1: Good Girls

If you're single--and even if you're not--you probably have a certain "type" when it comes to those of the opposite gender you find attractive.  Some guys like ladies with certain hair colors; some women love men in uniform; some dudes only like ladies who truly understand American football; some women couldn't marry a guy who doesn't like animals in the house.  Whatever your "type" is, you're probably hoping to find "the one" who falls into that category, if you haven't already.

Some of you might think that the only kind of women I could like are famous ones; pretty much, if they're not on Nickelodeon or the Disney Channel, I'm not interested, it would seem.  What you're failing to realize is that, even in recent years, I have been interested in some single ladies whom I actually knew; I just haven't asked anyone out since 2008, for reasons even I don't completely understand.  In some cases, I've had to squelch any thought of anything happening between me and whoever, usually because they ended up engaged and/or married before they knew anything about any such feelings, though, in a select few cases, I was simply unfriended by them for no apparent reason.  What did those ladies have in common? Simple: They were good girls.

You may be asking: What makes a lady a "good girl"? Her style of dress? A lack of excessive piercings and body art? What she has on her iPod? I'll give you a few qualities that a "good girl" has.  First off: A good girl is modest.  When you hear/read that word, you may immediately think about not showing skin, but it's more than just that.  Webster defines "modesty" as "freedom from conceit or vanity" and "propriety in dress, speech, or conduct".  So, a person can be fully clothed and still lack modesty by being a braggadocio, or mouthing off to others, or just generally acting inappropriately.

It's especially the case when it comes to bragging.  These days, people boast about anything and everything--getting honor roll, winning awards they don't deserve, etc.--without another thought.  My mom has never liked those bumper stickers that say, "My child is an honor roll student at _________", because they're quite boastful.  As I've gotten older, I understand what she means.  More to the point, during my first year at my second elementary school, it won the supposedly prestigious Blue Ribbon award.  The principal decided to rub it in everyone's face by launching blue balloons that ended up all over the world, as well as having a new roof and floors installed that were--you guessed it--blue.  I was never happy about all that, though, because several incidents took place my first year there that shouldn't have happened at an "award-winning" school.  Still, even though that principal is reportedly long gone, her boasting over that undeserved--in my opinion, anyway--award is evident to anyone who walks into or even passes by that school.

It isn't just me who is bothered by boasting and bragging; God is, too.  Proverbs 16:18 says that pride leads to destruction, and Paul told the Galatians--and us--that he would never boast except in the cross of Jesus Christ.  Other Scriptures throughout the New Testament warn of being conceited.  Though it's good to have confidence, a woman who thinks she is the greatest thing since the personal computer is simply not my type.

Second off: A good girl is polite and respectful of others.  I know I'm not perfect, and I'll admit that some people and situations get the best of me, but I do my absolute best to make sure that I respect anyone and everyone with whom I come into contact.  Unfortunately, it seems that, especially among people my age, politeness and being respectful are all too rare.  You wouldn't believe how mouthy some people of my generation can be; when I think back to all the ways I was harassed when I was younger, I realize that it was just because those kids didn't know how to behave.  Of course, taming the tongue has always been a challenge; if it wasn't, it wouldn't be mentioned in James 3.  Still, if a girl doesn't know how to appropriately talk to people, she is not the one for me.

Third off: A good girl is intelligent.  Sure, we all say or do stupid things, but there's a difference between making a mistake once in a while and simply just not getting it.  I saw a story on a cable news network this morning about millennials--that is, people of my generation--and the mistakes they often make during job interviews, such as bouncing from job to job, or asking what perks the business will offer them.  Though it was presented in an exaggerated, sitcom-esque style, it really made its point.  Unfortunately, people of my generation will likely continue to make such gaffes in interviews and elsewhere.  If a lady isn't smart enough to realize her mistakes and learn from them, then she isn't right for me.

Lastly, and most importantly: A good girl is a Christian. Proverbs 31:30 says it best: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Seriously, I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with a girl who didn't share my beliefs.  That's one reason why I know the Disney and Nickelodeon stars aren't right for me: Though they may appear cute and innocent on TV, who knows what they're like in real life? Even believing in God isn't enough; James 2:19 says that even the demons do that.

True, some mainstream celebrities have mentioned being Christians, including my current "number one" Demi Lovato.  It's great that she prays before her concerts and gives God the credit for getting her through hard times; if only she would refrain from resorting to occasional profanities and sexual references in her songs, and dress a bit more modestly.  It really doesn't matter; she is just as out of my league as Hilary Duff and Anne Hathaway were, so, there's no point in speculating if she and I are a match.  I'd rather marry a non-famous woman, anyway; I don't want all the annoyances that come with being romantically linked with a celebrity.  My point is: If a girl doesn't share my beliefs, no dice.

I will end by saying this: Most of you who know me probably aren't surprised by the fact that I like good girls.  You look at almost every celebrity I've liked--from Amy Jo Johnson to Hilary Duff to Christy (Carlson) Romano to Ashley Tisdale to Victoria Justice to Jennifer Stone--and they--or, at least, the roles they played--had that good girl quality.  What you may not know is that I've actually crushed on some Jezebels, both famous ones and ones I personally knew.  My "number one" in eighth grade was a washed-up actress who went from big sitcom star to appearing in countless morally offensive movies to dying of a drug overdose; you can guess what one thing she did that made me her fan.  Even other female celebrities I liked--but rarely talked about--were not nearly as squeaky clean as Hilary or Victoria.  More to the point, I once had a crush on a significantly older, divorced woman who claimed to be a Christian, but didn't have the other above qualities for "good girls".  Our friendship has been over for a while, and I used to lament about it; now, I view it as a Godsend.  Though I may have fallen for her at one point, I realize now that she was not the one for me at all, and I will make sure that I never fall for such a lady again.

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