Why I Do..., No. 3: Why I (Generally) Avoid Sports

Unless you don't know me very well, you probably already know that I've never been a sports fan...though the reasons why may be unclear.  I used to say that it was because I wasn't raised around them, but not only is that not a valid excuse, it's also not exactly true.  Other reasons I've given have been everything from, "I just don't understand them," to...well, there's too many to list.  I realize that such an opinion puts me at odds with many people, especially those who share my gender.  To be honest, I do know quite a few guys who either don't care for sports or are only minor fans--that is, they like it, but they rarely watch it or keep track of it--but, there's no getting around the fact that the majority of the United States population loves their ball games.  I had said at the start of this series of blog posts that it was meant to help me understand why I do what I do as well as inform you of the same; now, I'm ready to share some thoughts I've compiled in my mind as to why I've never been a sports fan.

First off: I'm just not a rough-and-tumble kind of guy.  I have never taken kindly to being physically hurt, even in a painful way; when I was younger, I used to always threaten to call the police on others and have them charged with assault if they got the least bit physically rough with me.  I'd like to say that tendency has gone away...but, I still find such behaviors just as bothersome.  I wouldn't call 911 on someone for hitting me, but I definitely wouldn't be too happy about it.  It's not that I'm averse to physical contact; if you've seen me at church, you know I'm hugging and shaking hands like crazy every time I go there.  I don't even mind a tap on the shoulder, as long as it isn't done with malicious intent; I just don't want to get rough.

You probably know that, over the years, I've had many different heroes: actresses, singers/musicians, cartoon characters, video game characters, etc.  What you may not have realized is that none of them were known for attributes such as physical strength or other athletic traits; at least, not in a realistic way.  I never admired sports greats such as Michael Jordan or Sammy Sosa that much; in fact, I barely even knew who they were.  More to the point, I never aspired to do things that would involve great physical strength; it was never in my plans to become an athlete, a soldier, or even an Eagle Scout, the latter of which was much to my sister's chagrin.  People tried to help me learn such skills, but it never went anywhere...because my heart just wasn't in it.

I remember a scene in The Princess Diaries where Mia is struggling as usual in gym class.  When she seems overwhelmed by the other kids kicking soccer balls, the P.E. teacher says, "Just block one, Mia! Just block one!" Mia replies with, "I can't do this; I'm a girl," to which the teacher--a woman--responds, "What am I, a duck?" Mia quickly answers with, "No! I mean...you're an athletic girl. I am a synchronized swimming, yoga-doing, horseback-riding, wall-climbing-type girl.  My hand-eye coordination is zero." It's true that many women are athletes; even non-traditional sports such as figure skating require serious talent and strength.  I'd consider Kristi Yamaguchi--look her up if you don't know who she is--to be just as much of an athlete as anyone in the NFL.  Still, just as the celluloid princess said, there are different types of girls...and I'd go as far as saying there are different types of guys as well.  Some are meant to be soldiers; others, actors and/or singers; still others, librarians.  (Okay, so, I'm not technically a librarian, but I do plan on becoming one someday.)  Some would call guys like me wimps, but, even Romans 12:6-8 talks about all of us having different gifts, aka talents.

Second off: I have trouble understanding the intricacies of sports.  I'm not talking about the rules; I'm sure that, with practice, I could understand the workings of the games.  What I'm talking about is the rivalries.  Since I wasn't raised in a home where we always rooted for one team, I'm at a loss to figure out what makes one better than another.  You could tell me why your team is the best, but another friend could make an argument that's just as convincing for a completely different team.

All the way back in 2000, the Virginia Tech football team made it to a big championship, an occasion that had people all over my area talking.  Not only did our local ABC affiliate bombard viewers with advertisements celebrating it, but my mom even watched the big game, and she isn't any more of a sports fan than I am.  It turned out that Tech lost...which came as a shock to me.  With everyone around me singing their praises, how on earth could they lose? I later realized that I viewed it as a good-versus-evil kind of thing.  Virginia Tech may have been a big deal around where I live, but, they weren't the Power Rangers or Spider-Man, nor was the opposing team Rita Repulsa or the Green Goblin; it was a college football game, not a battle to save our planet from utter destruction.  That right there illustrates the subjectivity of sports: Who are the good guys? Depends on who you ask.

Third off: I'm too sensitive for sports.  This kind of ties in with the first point, but, it applies to being a spectator as well.  Some of you may remember this story, but, I'm going to share it anyway: All the way back in December 1999, I went with my church's youth group to a Hampton Roads Admirals hockey game.  They were playing against some team I'd never heard of; Johnstown, or something like that.  At first, the Admirals were winning...then, Johnstown got ahead...then, towards the end of the game, the Admirals got in the lead again.  The crowd was going wild, and I was happy for them...but, at the same time, I wondered how Johnstown felt, and kind of felt bad for them.  If you're a sports fan, you're no doubt saying, "There's no emotions like that in sports." I understand that completely; that's why I'm not a fan.  It's different when we're talking superheroes vs. supervillains; the latter are usually bent on world destruction or other dastardly plans, which is exactly why they need to be defeated...but, if your team loses the big game, would that cause the entire United States to be enslaved? Didn't think so.

Fourth off: I don't quite understand the appeal of sports.  All over the world, sports are a big deal; even other countries celebrate their athletes just as much as we do ours.  Some guys watch nothing on television but sports.  I once heard a discussion between two teachers and a classmate at my high school about a rumor that Cox--the only cable provider in our area at the time--was considering making ESPN a digital-cable-only channel.  One teacher, who was a big-time fan of the Philadelphia Eagles, said such a decision would cause him to switch to a satellite provider.  The classmate of mine argued that ESPN was the main reason every male subscribed to cable...and, for the most part, he was probably right; however, the only cable channel I really bothered with was, of course, the Disney Channel.

It's not that I haven't tried my hand at sports; I have...but, when I did, I didn't enjoy them.  Many of you reading this are probably sports fans to a degree, but, I doubt you would want to be grilled about it.  Back in the late '90's, someone--an adult, not a kid--took a rather critical tone with me after he saw Wheel 2000 for the first time, which was one of my favorite shows at the time.  I got a bit flustered because he seemed to be tearing into me just because I liked it and he didn't.  The same is true of sports: You may like it, and I don't...but, I doubt anything you say will convince me to become a fan, just like I probably couldn't make you a fan of the Disney Channel.  Instead of trying to "convert" me, what a true friend would do is simply accept it.

Now, for my conclusion: I realize that sports has been a hot button issue with me for quite a while.  I used to believe it should be banned from the country, if not the world, only because I didn't like it.  However, that's not right; that would be like the Disney Channel going kaput only because some nameless individual most people know nothing of didn't like it.  If one single person were responsible for the end of professional sports, he/she would likely be the most hated individual this planet has ever known.  I also used to assume all sports fans were fanatics...but, I eventually realized, that, when it comes to fanaticism, I've got no room to talk.  You may know someone who is obsessed with a certain football team, but my fixation on Hilary Duff when I was in high school could have eaten their "obsession" for dinner.  More to the point, I was against physical activity in general; I just didn't see the need for it...but, now, I do.  Not only does physical strength come in handy in many situations--i.e., helping someone move--but too much sitting around and watching television and movies or reading books can make you gain weight; it's done just that to me! I'm not a kid anymore, and, if I'm going to stay healthy, I'm going to have to get up from the recliner and do something active.  I'd rather not participate in sports, but I still need to do something that helps me get healthy...and exercise seems like the best thing.

Any comments?

Why I Do..., No. 2: Why I Watch the Disney Channel

In November 2002, I discovered something that changed my life forever.  About two months prior, I had been dismayed to discover that ABC Family had replaced Growing Pains, my favorite show at the time, with 7th Heaven, leaving me with no way to watch the Seavers.  I spent the next several weeks in a state of despair.  In fact, I even considered throwing my TV set in the trash can; without Mike and Carol, what was there to watch? However, that all changed when a kid my mom was taking care of at the time showed me a little television program called Lizzie McGuire.  I'd had some slight experience with it before, but, seeing it with an open mind made me realize what I was missing.  It didn't take long for me to watch every single episode of the show up to that point, which was rather easy, considering Disney Channel showed it every day.  I also became a fan of other shows from the Mouse network, including Even Stevens and That's So Raven.

Some people probably thought it was a fad; after all, how often had I gone from having a number one favorite thing only to despise it soon after? That wasn't the case here, though; even though I didn't watch it all that much for a while, I enjoyed it every time I did.  I wanted to see the shows in their entirety, but, I couldn't make it work with my schedule, partly because of technology issues; specifically, a broken DVD recorder and no DVR.  I have been watching the shows on iTunes lately, and am really enjoying them.

So, what's the appeal of Disney Channel? There's actually more than one reason why I like it.  First off: The Disney Channel is clean.  These days, it's getting harder and harder for parents to find morally decent entertainment for their kids.  Even "PG" films are increasingly getting edgier, and go beyond what many discerning viewers--parents or otherwise--would approve of.  However, Disney is well-known for its dedication to family friendliness, and people everywhere know that, if it's associated with the House of Mouse, it's likely morally decent.  True, that isn't always the case; some recent Disney products have had some shocking moments, such as the vulgarity that was in Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  Still, for the most part, you can count on the Mouse for clean content, and that's true for their channel as well.

Second off: The Disney Channel is entertaining.  I know some people don't think of it that way, but, I do; seriously, it's very cute and funny.  The Mouse network has provided me with plenty of entertainment; even before Lizzie, it was how I originally got into Growing Pains, which was well before the incident mentioned above.  I wouldn't keep watching it if it didn't entertain me.

Third off: The Disney Channel's products are well-made. I often say in my entertainment reviews that no one does a sitcom or telefilm like the Disney Channel, and I believe that to be true.  Their productions easily stand up in quality to anything on the other networks...plus, they have a dedication to morality that you can't really find anywhere else.  Even some of Nickelodeon's "kiddie" shows are rife with adult humor.  As long as the Mouse network keeps it up, I'll continue to be a fan.

I do have a couple of concluding points to make.  First off: Over the years, I have been well-known for my "crushes" on Disney actresses, ranging from Hilary Duff to Demi Lovato to Olivia Holt.  It's true that they did hold a certain appeal...but, now that I think about it, I think it was more their characters I liked than the stars themselves.  Actors and actresses usually get identified with a certain character, regardless of whatever else they do; however, the truth is that there's no guarantee that they're anything like that facade, whether the person they portrayed was good or bad.  That's why I don't do that anymore; seriously, the way someone acts in a movie versus the way they act in real life are two different things.

Second off: Though I may be known as a Disney Channel fan, I don't sit around and watch it all day! I remember reading an article over a decade ago where a then-twelve-year-old girl said, "I come home from school, and I turn on the Disney Channel, and I don't watch any other channel." That's not the case with me; in fact, I rarely watch live television, Mouse network or otherwise.  The new episodes of Disney Channel's shows tend to air on Sunday nights, when I'm at church; that's why I usually end up watching them either on demand or on my DVR.  I also watch many shows--not just Mouse network ones--on my Mac and iPad, either by converting them from a DVD or getting them from iTunes.  Honestly, I can't stand the way Disney Channel plays their episodes to death; I recently had two young people at church tell me that, every time they went to watch I Didn't Do It, it was the same episode.  I think they should try and vary their programming more; maybe show reruns of old favorites or air kid-friendly movies, like they used to do back in the day.  Though I love the shows they air on there, I don't want to see them a million times; that's why I stick to watching it on my own time.

Any comments?

Why I Do..., No. 1: Why I Bargain Hunt

In the late 1990s, kids all over the world went crazy for Pokémon, a set of Game Boy collection RPGs that became a media empire.  Though the franchise still exists, it was at its height around Y2K, when the games, trading cards, videos of the show, and various other memorabilia were flying off the shelves like crazy.  The object of the game was summed up in its slogan: Gotta catch 'em all! Seriously, your objective was to catch at least one of the 150+ species within the game.  The franchise made Nintendo and card makers Wizards of the Coast billions of dollars...but, it ended up falling out of favor with many kids.  Why? Simply because the big "N" dragged their feet about releasing new games with new monsters, and WotC did the same with the next generation of cards.  Once you had caught all of the various species, and collected all of the trading cards...what was there to do? I expect the games still sell--otherwise, Nintendo wouldn't bother bringing them to American shores--but most of my gamer friends gave up on those "pocket monsters" years ago.

You may wonder what in the world that has to do with bargain hunting.  Simply this: Like the usual Pokémon trainer, I am on a quest to obtain various items...but, instead of "pocket monsters," my quest is for entertainment: books, DVDs, and CDs.  Usually, when I go to garage sales, thrift stores, library sales, MovieStop, used bookstores, and similar places, that's all I buy.  Some items are very commonplace and easy to find; others are rare, usually because they're out of print, and difficult to get my hands on.  With many items, I find that if I don't pounce on it right away, I end up missing out.  Unlike that collection RPG, though, I'm not limited to just a set number of items; there's a nearly infinite amount of literature and audiovisual media that can be mine...as long as I seek it out.

Some people would argue that, when it comes to finding rare items, eBay is a better place.  Well, that's true...if you know what you're looking for.  At the kinds of places I go to, it's not what you know you want; it's what you didn't know you wanted.  I often end up seeing book series or DVDs that I've either never heard of or hadn't thought about in a while, ones that I'd never think to type into any kind of online search.  Plus, places such as eBay and Amazon Marketplace often include shipping fees that can be a doozy.

It's no secret that I love my entertainment, right? Of course, I have to find ways to get it within my budget; if I went around paying full price for every single DVD or book I wanted, I'd go bankrupt.  The library is a great place to get entertainment...but even they have their limits.  Plus, unless you idly walk down the shelves, just like on eBay, you have to know what you're looking for.  Sometimes, books and DVDs will get displayed, but, other than that, finding that uncertain item could be a needle-in-a-haystack search.  That's why I frequent garage sales, used bookstores, MovieStop, and similar places; you never know just what you'll find...and you can usually get it for very cheap.

In recent years, I've talked quite a bit about bargain hunting, both on Facebook and off.  Many of my friends have seen photos and lists of my latest hauls; sometimes, I wonder if people have unfriended me because of such posts.  To me, bargain hunting is like a sport; I have my victories, and I have my defeats.  Some days I make out very well, and sometimes I go a great distance and come home with almost nothing.  It's not really a competition, per se; I'm not trying to "keep up with the Joneses" by having the biggest book collection on my block.  I don't even know how much entertainment my neighbors own, and I don't really care; to me, I buy the books, DVDs, and CDs that I want, not every single one I see.  I just try and find the best deals on the items I want.

Some people--including my mom--have told me that I've become a bit of a "shopaholic," to the point where I go bargain hunting any chance I get.  It's true that I love it--I wouldn't do it as often as I do if it weren't fun--but, I think I do need to cut back at times.  Last year, I spent almost a whole month without bargain hunting, and it helped.  Currently, I have a bunch of books I'm looking to get rid of; I'm hoping to take them to the used bookstore, but, they only accept twenty-five at a time.  If I spent more time actually consuming the entertainment I obtain instead of completely non-constructive tasks such as poking around online or pacing and whispering to myself, I'd have more to get rid of...which would leave more space for the new stuff.  Let's hope I can change that in 2015.

Why I Do What I Do: Intro

In September 2000, after over 2.5 years of Cub Scouting, I transferred to the Boy Scout troop sponsored by the church I was attending at the time.  For a while, I went on camping trips, attended meetings, joined in on service projects, and did other Scouting pursuits...but, after thirteen months, my mom pulled the plug on the whole thing.  Why? Simply because my heart wasn't in it; since I was only doing it because my sister and brother-in-law insisted, I really didn't know why I was learning to pitch tents or tie knots.  My sister had told me that I needed to join because of my lack of a father figure; she believed I needed to do things with other guys.  However, that never worked for me, because the vast majority of my fellow Scouts didn't have that problem; I knew they had fathers, because it was the Scouts' dads who made up the vast majority of the troop's adult leaders.  In retrospect, I now realize that Scouting was a great opportunity for me to make new friends as well as learn skills that would serve me well in the future...but, at that time, I didn't really know why anyone was even bothering with the program.  If I'd known why Scouting was such a revered institution, not to mention how it would benefit me in the future, maybe I would have actually given it a fair shake; instead, I disliked it so much, when I was finally given the chance to leave, I felt as if I was being released from prison.

Scouting wasn't the only thing, though; over the years, I regularly wondered why everything from gym class to owning a dog was necessary.  When circumstances required me to participate in those activities, I usually did them, but my disdain for them was obvious; anyone who saw me there could tell that I much rather would have been watching television than looking after a mutt or "running" a mile.  To me, I just didn't see the purpose; it was one thing if one chooses to participate in those activities, but...I was doing them against my will.  Really, I was only hurting myself; I missed out on a great friendship with my would-be canine companion, and caused myself to gain weight in recent years, only because of a poor attitude.  Just like with Boy Scouting, if I had known why I was doing what I was doing, instead of merely doing just what I was told for fear of punishment, it could have produced much more benefits, for myself and others.

In recent years, most of you reading this have found out all about my hobbies.  You know my varied interests: family-friendly entertainment, libraries, bargain hunting, Apple technology, Disney Channel, old-school shows, Christian media, trivia, etc.  You may know what I like...but, you probably wonder why I like it, as most people--especially young adults--don't bother with such things; even if they do like it, it's not as important to them as it is to me.  I'm as enthused with my hobbies as most guys are with their favorite sports.  You might have already known that...but, you still probably don't know why.

That's just what this series of blog posts will explain! You'll find out exactly why I do the things that I do...and, also, why I don't do certain things that "everybody else" seems to do.  By the time this series is finished, you'll understand everything from my passion for bargain hunting to my love for the Disney Channel!

(The first post will hopefully be coming later today!)

What I Actually Am Having Trouble Understanding (AKA The Reason for The Previous Post)

If there's any topic I've heard more about than any other, it's love.  Growing up in the church, I often heard Scriptures such as 1 Corinthians 13 or Romans 5:8 read during services or Bible classes.  I also watched as couples went from merely dating to engaged to married to having children...or, at least partially.  I've also seen many onscreen romances:

• Mork tried everything to get Mindy to marry him, but, it wasn't until his last ditch effort that she said yes.
• Gordo liked Lizzie as more than a best friend, but, he didn't reveal it until the final episode.
• Prince Edward chased Princess Giselle to our world, believing her to be his one true love...only for both of them to step aside when they found romance with someone else.
• Ella of Frell went from despising the infamous Prince Char to falling in love with him and saving him from certain death.
• Peter Parker was afraid that he was losing his significant other when she prepared to move to England...only for something much worse to happen to her.
• Teddy couldn't decide whether Spencer or Beau was the right one for her.

However, love isn't just about romance; love is something we're supposed to show our fellow man.  Though I have yet to find a significant other, I have experienced love; just of the non-romantic variety.  Friends of mine--of all ages, I should add--have given me gifts, helped me out in tough situations, taken me out to dinner, wished me well, etc.  You could say, for that, I am thankful.

Still, I can't fight the feeling that love isn't all it should be at times.  I'd think most if not all of you reading this know the Scriptures about love, especially 1 Corinthians 13.  We often hear them read during weddings or other romantic celebrations...but, actually, most of the oft-quoted ones are not merely talking about our spouses or other significant others.  When Paul wrote, "Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it keeps no record of wrongs...", he had bigger things on his mind than just romance.  We are instructed to love our neighbor as ourselves, and that means pretty much everyone, not just the person who lives next to us.  More to the point, I've heard that a Scripture often read at weddings is Ruth 1:16b-17:

Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.

However, when you look at the entire first chapter of Ruth, it isn't actually about someone getting married; it's what Ruth tells her mother-in-law.  To me, reading that at a wedding smacks of taking the verse out of context.  Maybe that's just proof of how little the Bible actually talks about romantic love.

As someone with Asperger Syndrome, I tend to think in logical terms.  It's why I've always had an affinity for technology; it thinks in logic, just like I do.  There have been times in the past where I was thinking in logic, but didn't even realize that was the basis of my figuring until well after the fact.  Still, most humans aren't logical, much to the chagrin of people with A.S. I remember reading a poem from a fellow sufferer that said, "Humans are the most illogical race.  Nothing they do, nothing they say, makes any sense.  Oh, why can't humans be logical?" Though the lack of logic is present in many areas of human life, it seems to be more prevalent in the world of love--not just romantic love, but love in general--than anywhere else.

Have you ever been asked, "Do you love me?" Peter got asked that three times by Jesus in the last chapter of John.  Still, I've heard of cases where family members asked each other that after incidents where one didn't seem to care about the other.  Most of the time, I only hear love openly discussed when it comes to significant others and/or family members; still, the second greatest commandment says we are to love everyone, no matter who they are or what they've done to us.  Jesus displayed that kind of love by dying and shedding blood for everyone, even those who despised him.  It's up to us to show that kind of love to everyone else.

Unfortunately, sometimes the "love" that people are showing me feels more like bullying.  Years ago, I had trouble with a guy in my youth group who often told me, "I don't like you!" I believed it to be true; after all, a guy in my sixth grade homeroom said the same thing, and he wasn't joking.  However, I was shocked when, in an e-mail after an incident I won't delve into here, the youth leader said of the guy who kept saying he didn't like me, "[He] likes you and you don't even know it!" Um...how was I supposed to know he liked me? If he says that he doesn't, and the rest of the group acts like he means what he is saying...what else do I have to go on? That guy and I have become friends and put all that mess behind us; still, that only goes to show how tricky friendship--which is a type of love--can be.  More recently, I've dealt with people who have made unnecessary comments, sometimes in a public area, which makes it embarrassing.  True, they may mean it as a joke...but, if it offends me--and it usually does, even if I don't say anything--it doesn't matter what their intentions are.  Just a few years ago, I lost a once-good friend after making a comment on her Facebook status that she didn't appreciate.  I tried to explain to her that I was merely trying to make her laugh, something I had never been able to do; stories of mine that had made other literally laugh out loud only got a nonchalant "yeah" from her.  Telling her that just made her even more upset; she believed there was no reason for me to say such a thing.  Looking back, she was right; I messed up, and trying to justify it only hurt my case.  Still, when others say or do things I don't appreciate, the fact that I feel that way is on me; instead of an apology, which is what I deserve, all I get is justification.  It shouldn't be that way--after all, you don't see Jesus harassing anybody out of "love"--but it is.

Such actions make it hard to get along with people who do them.  Most of you probably know that my relationship with my sister has been strained for ages; try as we might, we just can't get along.  Part of that is because we're equally strong-willed, but hardly ever agree on anything; the number of times we've ever been in agreement can be counted on two fingers.  Another part of that is because, even though pretty much everyone who knows or has known her--and even some who haven't--insists that she loves and cares about me...there were times when I just didn't see it.  I won't go into detail, as not to embarrass her, but I will say that those incidents were very emotionally painful.  Why'd she do what she did? It's hard to say.  Maybe her intentions were good, and I just didn't understand them; maybe she was having a bad day, or was in a bad mood; or maybe it was merely a mistake that she learned from later on.  Whatever the reason, such actions made it hard to believe that she meant well in other cases; some time later, when she asked me a question about a rather personal situation, I answered it, then added, "Why is that any of your business?" I do regret reacting that way...but, I don't think I would have if it hadn't been for our checkered past.  It's not just her, though; countless others have acted in ways I didn't appreciate, only to wonder why I later had negative feelings towards them.  If only they'd followed Romans 12:18--"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone"--instead of saying whatever they wanted with supposedly good intentions, it wouldn't have been that way.

So, suffice it to say: I don't really understand love.  Oh, sure, I understand what the Bible says about it; still, many humans' expressions of it--even when I'm not the intended target of it--seem to be not in line with God's Word.  You have no idea the kinds of things I've heard people say to or about the person they married; if I were in their spouse's situation, I wouldn't stand for such treatment!  Though I agree criticism is necessary at times--after all, I am an amateur entertainment critic--there's times where it just borders on meanness, if it isn't already downright ugly.  Of course, there are times when we all need to hear something we don't want to hear...but, more often than not, the comments I hear are simply unnecessary.

I was raised on an old-school sense of morality; when you do or say something, you are responsible, regardless of what anybody else did, and you should apologize to someone you've hurt, even if you did mean well.  Though my mom was the main one who instilled that any me, other adults--even my teachers--would be quick to tell me when something was "unnecessary" or "not very nice".  Once, when I was in third grade, I nearly got written up because, when the teacher told us, "Y'all are the most talkative class I have ever had!", the kid sitting next to me said, "Yeah, right!", and the teacher thought I had said it.  The kid responsible admitted that she said it, but claimed she was saying it in response to what another classmate said; still, if I had said it, I could have been in serious trouble.  Some of you may have been raised on similar morals...but, unfortunately, in my generation and among most of the people I know, they're largely dead.  People can say whatever they want; if it makes someone else feel bad, it's not the fault of the person who said it.  I've never agreed with that, and neither does the Bible; Jesus said in Matthew 12:36-37, "But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." Do you think that, on Judgment Day, Jesus will accept, "But...I meant really well!", as an excuse? I doubt it.  Instead of trying to justify yourself, you should be big enough to apologize.

I will conclude by saying this: Like many words in the English language, the word "love" is tossed around a bit too easily.  We say we "love" pizza or Star Wars, yet we also say we love our significant other and our kids, or whatever family members we have, even if they're not human.  I'm not sure how you can feel the same way about your spouse as you can about a TV series; honestly, I'd have to agree with those who say that the English language is rubbish when it comes to expressing love.  Still, love isn't about what you say; it's what you do.  You may tell your wife you love her...but, do you express it in the way you treat her? If you do, great; I'm not trying to condemn anyone here.  Still, when it comes to the love I have experienced--entirely of the non-romantic variety--I often have trouble seeing the many ways it's expressed.  Some of it smacks too much of bullying for my tastes.  I understand that love causes pain; when you love someone, you hurt when they hurt.  Most of you probably have struggled yourselves when a loved one went through a physically and/or emotionally difficult time.  Still, there are times when I want to tell people, "If you loved me, you wouldn't talk to me that way!" I realize that sounds kind of like Samson's wife in Judges 14:16--"You hate me! You don’t really love me. You’ve given my people a riddle, but you haven’t told me the answer."--but, seriously, I can't help but feel like I deserve better.  Not because I have a condition; not because I'm superior to anyone else; not because I got bullied when I was in school...but because I'm a human being, and your job is to love your fellow man.  What part of "Love your neighbor as yourself" don't you understand?

Why I Have Trouble Taking Marriage Seriously

NOTE: Actual Mrs. Russo not pictured.

When I was a junior in high school, I had a very attractive English teacher named Mrs. Russo.  (Okay, that wasn't her real name, but I don't want to give that away, so, that will be her name for this post.)  A pretty young blonde fresh out of college, and easily mistakable for a student, guys throughout the school were simply gaga for her...and me probably most of all.  I couldn't stop talking about how "hot" she was, to the point where it was driving others bonkers; one guy at my lunch table said, "What is it with you and Ms. Russo?" However, there was a problem with our infatuation: Mrs. Russo was just that; a Mrs., aka a married woman.  In fact, her husband was Coach Russo, a longtime teacher at our school; word among my friends was that Mrs. Russo was Coach's student, and that they had gotten married just before she became our teacher.  I actually got into a bit of trouble with Coach Russo; when one of my other teachers notified him about what I was saying about his bride, he saw me in the hallway and said, "I heard you were talking about my wife!"

However, as serious as Coach was, I honestly laugh every time I think about that incident.  Why? Simply because, less than four years after they said, "I do," the Russos divorced.  I don't know all of the details--frankly, they're none of my business--but, for Coach to go from telling me not to talk about his wife to no longer having a wife in well under half a decade's time is simply laughable.  Of course, divorces happen; they were happening even back in Bible times.  Still, it's incidents like that and others--mostly involving friends or other people I've personally known--that make it difficult to take marriage seriously.  Another couple I knew got married when I was in middle school, only to be separated well before I finished high school and eventually ended up--you guessed it!--divorced.  Other couples I've known have done everything from split up once their kids moved out, to go from leaving their spouses to having new fiancees in a mere year or two, surprising right many of their friends.  It just seems to be happening left and right, and not just in Tinseltown.

Those of you who are around my age or older probably remember when Pokémon came on the scene in the late 90's.  I actually was late to the party; I was one of the last kids I knew to have any of the cards and especially the original Game Boy games.  When I heard people talk about the games, I tried to imagine what they were like...but, when I actually got one, it was nothing like what I had pictured.  Eventually, many kids ended up giving up on the franchise; an article in the local paper titled "Interest in Pokémon is waning" blamed Nintendo's pokiness in bringing the "next generation" of games to American shores, and Wizards of the Coast's doing the same with the newer cards, which led to many kids actually catching all of the monsters, both in card and video game form, which made them bored with it.  Some kids even became seriously critical of other kids who still were fans; I knew a guy once who went from wanting to name his family's new cat Pikachu to making fun of me for playing the games within a mere two years.  Not only that, but...many adults made fun of the franchise itself, mostly because they didn't understand it.  As one article I read said, "Kids everywhere know about Pokémon.  Most adults just scratch their heads."

I mention that because many grown-ups attitudes towards Pokémon echo my feelings about marriage.  Though I know what I've heard people say about the topic, I'm pretty much an outsider, and don't really know what it's like to be married or even in a serious relationship; it's hard for me to understand what romantically involved folks go through on a daily basis.  When I see people's marriages turning out to be fads--that is, they're short-lived--it makes me wonder why they even got involved in the first place.  It's easy for me to criticize what those in relationships do, because I don't ever find myself in such situations, and the writing on the wall says I may never at all.  There's been a recent meme on Facebook that uses the mishaps of celebrities ranging from Elizabeth Taylor to Larry King to Britney Spears to Tiger Woods as an argument against the sanctity of marriage; I can agree that, despite its divine institution, it has become a very big joke.  The splits of countless couples I personally know or have known only augments the point.  Even when couples don't split up, marriage is still poked fun at; how many times have we seen movies or TV shows--especially sitcoms--that focus on problems between spouses? I'll tell you right now that I have seen married couples fight in real life, and it is not the least bit funny...yet, that didn't stop Tim and Jill Taylor's disagreements from being punctuated by a laugh track!  Other sources--including non-entertainment ones--liken marriage to being a punishment or an otherwise not good thing.  With all of that...how on earth can I take it seriously? Half of the people involved in it don't seem to!

I will conclude by saying this: I know that many of you reading this probably are married or otherwise romantically involved.  I don't want you to think that I look down on you because of your relationship status; I don't feel that way at all.  In fact, I did a post about a year ago that talked about how entertainment was my significant other, because I talk about it often, spend most of my spare time with it, and even work with it at my job; one I specifically chose, that is.  Still, for most people, that's hard to understand; they've never had a "relationship" with an abstract entity.  Well, guess what? I've never had a romance with another human being; I have just as much trouble understanding your romantic situation as you do mine!  It's difficult to understand a situation that's not your own; when my oldest sister--who was severely disabled, mind you--was alive, people used to wonder why my mom was doing what she did.  When my mother started a day care in her own house after being unable to find reliable care for my eldest sibling, people would ask questions such as, "Why don't you get a job as a substitute nurse?" They didn't understand what it was like to have a kid like my oldest sister; those of you who have kids or other family members with disabilities probably feel her pain.  When it comes to marriage, I'm just as much of an outsider; part of me just doesn't get it, whereas another part of me just says to let the married folks do what they're going to do.  Maybe I'll understand someday...but, these days, I'm doubting that more than ever.

What REALLY Makes Me Different

Most of you reading this probably already know about my condition, known as Asperger Syndrome.  It used to be that I blamed all of my problems on it, and used it as an excuse to get out of anything I didn't want to do, such as housework or yard work.  Now that I'm more mature, I realize that doing so was merely laziness; there was no reason why I couldn't have mowed the lawn, fed the dog, or kept my room clean.  I just was trying to find a way out of it, which wasn't the right thing to do.  Still, the fact that I am different from most people remains.  Some folks love it; others despise me for it.  You may think the latter isn't true, but...there has to be a reason why I've been unfriended as many times as I have.  I'm not going to worry about those who can't handle someone who is different, though; I'll just be grateful for those who have stuck around all this time.

Some of you may be inclined to think that it's my condition that makes me the way I am, but, honestly, I think I've recovered from it.  Most of the traits that led to my original diagnosis are gone, and those supposedly "autistic" traits that I still have--bad handwriting, talking out loud to myself--are ones I've seen in plenty of people without such a condition.  Besides which, most of you wouldn't know about my poor penmanship or my tendency to think out loud if I didn't discuss them.  In years past, I was told that, since I was "high-functioning", I could do anything I wanted to; I didn't believe them back then, but, now, I know they were right.  Many people have told me that I have the mildest case of A.S. they've ever seen.  After meeting others with it, I'd say they were right.

So, if it isn't my condition, then, what is it? I've boiled it down to two personality traits, based on what I've seen in myself versus what I see others do and say.  Maybe those traits are a product of my condition; I'd say they're just who I am.  If you know me, you'll probably recognize what I'm talking about when you read each description.

First off: Most people like certain things; I become ardently enthused about them.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but...who among you doesn't like to be entertained? Can any of you reading this say you've never watched television, seen a movie, read a book, or listened to a song only for fun? Of course you have; it's a natural desire to want to be entertained.  However, while everyone else likes entertainment, I have a passion for it, and one that seems to exceed others'.  Though many of you like your television shows, movies, tunes, and novels, they're not your usual topic of discussion; instead, you talk about your job, your children, your relationship, etc.  Not only am I single and childless, but my job--working at a library--involves entertainment, as I spend many an hour shelving fiction books, CDs, and, to a lesser degree, DVDs. Even some of the non-fiction books there relate to entertainment, such as biographies of singers and actors.  It's my choice to work at a library; in fact, my plan is to further my education in that field and one day become a true librarian.  It's no surprise that I consider entertainment my significant other; it seems to take place of an actual relationship...but I'm fine with that.  Most other people--especially ones my age--have spouses and children to worry about, which leaves them little time for celluloid and literary diversions; I have plenty of time for entertainment, only because it's very important to me.

Second off: When it comes to what most people do...I just don't understand it.  Most of you probably have a circle of friends you often do things with, right? You, your spouse, and some other married couples get together for...well, whatever it is y'all do together; as a lifelong single, I wouldn't know.  Well, I haven't had a group to hang out with in years; even though I was a member of certain groups, my different tendencies made me an outcast, which led to serious problems.  It just seemed like I couldn't really get along with anyone.

That tendency has continued, even in recent years.  A few years ago, I was discussing something with an older friend, and I told him I wanted to make a "Team TORi" shirt in support of my then-favorite celebrity, Victoria Justice.  He thought that was a bad idea, and told me that other young adults were getting involved in a "cause"--i.e., saving the environment--and that I should do the same.  To a degree, I can understand "going green"; in fact, I often try to take steps to save energy, and I throw any acceptable materials into the recycling bin, whether they be soda cans or old library receipts.  Still, that's something I'm just going to do on my own; I'm not going to attend meetings and rallies about it, because...well, how would I get to them? You probably wouldn't even know about my tendency to recycle or attempts to save energy if I didn't tell you, because I never talk about them; while I believe in such a cause, I'm just not overly enthused about it.  Plus, how much could you say about such a topic?

That also applies to other areas of entertainment.  When I was a junior in high school, I had an English teacher who was fresh out of college and rather attractive.  Many guys--even outside of her classes--thought she was "hot"; I'll admit to being one of them.  However, my best friend at the time did not think of her that way, because she was married to another teacher at our high school; to my friend, that made her unattractive.  Most of the male population of my high school disagreed with him, but he didn't care.  I mention that because that's how I feel about other people's definition of "fun" at times.  I know many of you find theme parks, sports, activities involving large bodies of water, and owning pets fun; that's great for you...but I don't feel that way.  I simply can't wrap my head around why going to Busch Gardens or spending an evening watching a bunch of guys throw a ball around is anything about which to get excited.  If you want to get involved in that...good for you; go do it...just don't try and involve me.  I realize that such opinions have led to me having many solitary pursuits, but, I'm not going to spend my own time, effort, and money on something I can't stand just because it would help me "fit in" with other people; those who truly know me know that being "one of the many" just isn't my thing.

I will end by saying this: Throughout my life, I have often gotten special recognition for being different.  One such case involved an eighth grade science project where we had to find elements from the periodic table in everyday items; many kids used pencil lead, thinking it was the element lead.  However, I knew from an old science encyclopedia we had that the lead used in a pencil is actually graphite, which is a type of carbon.  I put that on my project, and the teacher said, "You're the only one who had that right."  Others have commended me on everything from media discernment to Bible knowledge to simply being unique.  Though I appreciate such encouragement, I can't let it go to my head; being different and doing/knowing what others don't doesn't make me superior to them.  Sometimes, I feel like I've lost friends not because of my different traits, but because I was so proud of everything I did, it verged on bragging, and they'd just had enough, so they severed ties.  You may disagree; unless you're a former friend of mine, though, I don't think you could say for sure.  We are told to be humble, and even secular morality says that it's wrong to be conceited; even though I am a different person, I am still a person, and, as the Declaration of Independence says, everyone was created equal.

Any comments?