DISCLAIMER: Okay, first off, although part of the story this ballad tells is rooted in reality, most of it isn't. I'm sure you can guess which parts are true and which aren't. This is an attempt at making my friends laugh, so I hope no one is offended. Anyway, enjoy!
To the tune of "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses and Miranda Cosgrove
"Bah, humbug!" That's way too strong
This is my favorite holiday
But I've never been less happier
Then I have been the past few days
I've spent this year not doing much
Thanks to this recession
Where is the job meant for me?
Come on, I'll take anything!
This year's fun stuff:
Music, movies and TV.
Idol this season was sublime.
Who was your favorite? Siobhan M. was mine!
So, I traveled miles just to see
Miss Magnus, and I did cheer!
Still, I have to lament
That I did not get to meet her.
Got her picture on my desktop.
Her songs have earned many plays.
She's coming out with an album.
When will I hear it?!!
Now it's Christmas time, yeah, once again.
We usually don't travel much,
But friends we're going to see
All the way up in New York.
I've spent way too much time
Preparing to go on this trip
And really worrying
'Cause I'm not used to traveling.
The New York trip starts today
And I'm just not excited.
Got many things for the long ride
Like books, snacks, and my gray iPod.
Not sure if I'll have one this year!
Now, we're traveling through tons of snow!
Mapquest's directions were so not right!
Now, we're in Massachusetts
And this car will not go?
Guess it's just them and me
At the closest hotel we could find.
It's Christmas Eve, time to relax.
Although what happened really stinks!
That night, I had some time to myself.
Trying to sleep, but there's some party
Going on in the lobby below.
Maybe down there I should go!
My parents said, "Yeah, it's okay;
You deserve to celebrate!"
So, made my way down to find
People dancing all around.
There's some girl I see
With sunglasses; she's dancing
Hey, I think that's Christian rock!
Let's jam to some dc Talk!
So, me and that girl, dancing we did go
To that band from the nineties!
And, when she takes her shades off, it appears
That she's Siobhan Magnus, my new crush this year!
"I'm spending this one alone," she said.
"My heart's broke; my boyfriend just dumped me."
I said, "Well, can I spend it with you?
I've got nowhere else to go, too!"
So, those holidays, we talked and laughed!
We had quite a lot in common!
I thought this year was an epic fail,
But it isn't with this ending!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
I'll probably never beat this year's!
(REPEAT UNTIL END)
[For Siobhan. May you and I meet some day.]