Sunday, November 14, 2010

Infatuation Vs. Real Love

During my eighth grade year, from September 2001 to June 2002, there was something that, despite being insanely popular with most if not all of my classmates, I openly mocked. It wasn't a movie, a video game, a TV show, a book, a musical act, or anything like that. What was it? Infatuation, also known as puppy love. It was quite commonplace for kids at my middle school to claim to be "in love" with someone and then say the same thing about someone else two weeks later. I repeatedly talked about how stupid it was; I said that it was not real love, because real love is what 1 Corinthians 13 describes. Of course, I was just as guilty of it as they were; my infatuation just had a different target: a celebrity who I will not name. Naturally, that trend continued for many years, and it brought huge Hollywood crushes such as Hilary Duff, Christy (Carlson) Romano, Anne Hathaway, and, yes, even Siobhan Magnus.
That last part is kind of funny when you think about it. If you look at my Facebook friends list, you'll see that a pretty large percentage of my friends around my age have been in long-lasting relationships; quite a few of them are even currently engaged or married. They love they've found is real; I, however, am still stuck in puppy love mode, and it doesn't seem like I can get out of it.
I've talked a lot about crushes on this blog and in my Facebook notes. I've talked about the celebrities, yes; however, I've also talked about failed attempts at romance, like "Rewind" and "Lois," as well as the three people (who will remain nameless) that "Love and Rejection" were addressed to. Even songs on my iPod--besides ones I've parodied--remind me of former or current crushes. Just look at my playlist: "Total Eclipse of the Heart," "I'll Stand By You," "White Flag," "In the End," "Please Don't Leave Me," "Take It on the Run," "Steel Bars," "Listen to Your Heart," "It Must Have Been Love"...and it doesn't stop there!
People might wonder: Why do I have such a focus on the topic of romantic love? Well, honestly, I don't think I'd really be able to escape it if I tried! If I were to get rid of every single song, book, or DVD that had any sort of romantic elements in it, I'd have barely anything to watch, read or listen to! I would even have to get rid of my entire Star Wars collection! Even doing that and leaving Facebook again wouldn't keep me from being bombarded by references to romance, though. I see it while I'm just out places, like the library or Wal-Mart. It's even on commercials and all over all news sources (TV, newspaper, websites, etc.)
Even beyond that, I think--and this is just my opinion--that part of my focus on romance (and members of the opposite gender, for that matter) is based on a long-time quest for love. I've had girls completely break my heart, and there was not one thing I could do about it. In some cases, it was my fault; I had a female BFF for over 3.5 years, and we're not even friends any longer, because I fell in love with her and couldn't stand the sight of her with any other guy. I could blame her for starting the friendship, since, IMO, she did; however, neither of us had any idea what that was going to cause, for good or ill. It's my fault, anyway; I couldn't just be that good of friends with a girl around my age and not start to have romantic feelings. Many have said that's normal for people my age, but that doesn't make it any less painful.
Now, I'm going to finish this post with a statement that is only for the females on my friends list: I know, sometimes, I've come on too strong in my interactions with you. There have been cases where someone said something, but sometimes it doesn't even need to be said; I can just tell. I will admit that there are right many girls/women I know--and I will NOT name any names, nor will I tell you if I do if you ask me--that I have a slight crush on. However, I promise you that it is completely good-natured. I do not want to be even partly responsible for ending any romantic relationship you are in; I'd imagine that, if I were, you probably wouldn't even want to be my friend anymore. Frankly, I still see myself as a kid in some ways, and sometimes, I forget that I'm 22 years old and could possibly be a threat to an adult romantic relationship. Oftentimes, while interacting with female friends, I feel like a fifth grader with a crush on his teacher, not someone who is technically an adult interacting with another adult. Maybe I'm not using the right words to express my feelings here, but I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying. If at any point I'm making you, your significant other, or anyone else uncomfortable, you've got to tell me. One final thing: If you are a married female friend of mine, and I tend to hang around you a lot, I know quite well that you and I are just friends. Can we be good friends? Of course we can! However, it'll only be a friendship, and I've accepted that.
Okay, I'm done. If you want to talk to me about what I've said, IM, message or e-mail me.

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