On Past Enemies and Revenge

As you might expect, I had quite a few enemies when I was in school. I'm not going to name them here, especially since quite a few of my former classmates are friends with those people, but there were several of them. I expect that most of my friends were bullied or made fun of in school as well. For some people, it was just because of their name. Still others were made fun of for no other reason than that they were "different." Sometimes that was due to a disability; others, it was them being unique.
Whatever the reason, I know that I speak for a large community when I say that not having to deal with bullies anymore is one of the best things about being out of school. For those who are Christians, Jesus even mentioned us experiencing persecution, which would include being made fun of. Jesus said in John 15:20, "If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also." The Apostle Paul also said in Romans 12:19, "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord." As much as I feel like exacting revenge on those who hurt me, it's not the right thing to do.
Now, there were two points I wanted to make before I started this post. They might be a little long-winded, but I'm going to try my best to keep them concise. The first one is: I can sort of understand why I was made fun of in school. You may think it was wrong for those people to make fun of me, and I would agree with you. Still, I think that their insults were coming from being annoyed with me, and they had every right to be annoyed. Why? Well, I'm not going to go into a long list of everything I did in class that annoyed people from kindergarten until college graduation, but here are a few things: loud typing, singing in class, thinking I was smarter than everyone else, not being able to shut up about whatever I liked at the time, constantly complaining about problems in my life, etc. In fact, when it comes to not being able to shut up about whatever I was obsessed with, I'm reminded of an incident from 2003. Long story short, some of the kids in my youth group were teasing me, and I considered it harassment, so I sent an angry e-mail to the youth leader. One of the things I said--and this is not a direct quote, because that e-mail and its reply were deleted years ago--was:

I'm going to be honest here: Sometimes I think about leaving. Maybe I should switch to [another nearby church]. There was a guy I met there who liked [my obsession at the time] Hilary Duff. Maybe there, my obsession would be APPRECIATED, rather than continually made fun of.

The youth leader's reply was something to the effect of:

I'm going to be honest with you, too: Any time someone has an obsession (Hilary Duff, Redskins football, wrestling, etc.) they are going to endure teasing and from time to time it will hurt.

And, you know what? He was absolutely right. I don't know if I realized it when I first read it, but, what he said might very well explain why I was made fun of throughout school: I was obsessed. Also, it wasn't just me who endured teasing from church members, either. A fellow youth group member once was teased by someone up front because of his obsession with wrestling. I'm not saying that's wrong; what I'm saying is, whether it's playful teasing or flat-out harassment, people are going to say things when they notice someone being obsessed.
The second point I wanted to make was: At least some of the people who harassed me in school might regret it now. The worst bullying I endured happened in middle school. Those of you who remember what middle school was like, or have been around middle schoolers in the past decade, most likely understand why that's significant. Even some friends I went to middle school with don't even like to talk about what happened there. One friend said he "was a little crack-head back then." I did some dumb things in middle school, too; I claimed all but six people in my seventh grade lunch period weren't even worth the birth pains their parents put into having them, and I spent my entire eighth grade year obsessed with a dumb old sitcom and a washed-up celebrity. I don't even really like to talk about those things anymore; I'm just mentioning them to prove my point: most middle schoolers do things they regret later in life. I haven't spoken to most of those middle school bullies in several years, so I have no idea how they feel. For all I know, some of them could have become Christians.
Any comments?

My iPod and Me

For those who don't know: I got a Silver 16GB iPod Nano for Christmas last year. It was the number one thing I wanted, and I was so happy when I got it. It's actually my second iPod; I got my first one, a Black 2GB Nano, for Christmas in 2005, but it went haywire in early 2009. I love my new iPod very much; in fact, I take it with me almost everywhere. It makes the long rides I take go by faster.
Some of you may wonder how many long rides I go on. Well, actually, my church is thirty minutes away, and the long rides there and back used to make me cranky...until I started bringing my iPod with me. I don't just listen to my music; usually, I have a book to read, with a book light if necessary. It's been months since I've taken any trips that were more than an hour, and the last long trip I took was in March of last year, and that was only four hours. All of those trips, though, were before I had my iPod. I've yet to go that far with it; still, I'm glad I have the entertainment, just in case I do need it.
With any sort of new technology comes new features. My new iPod has some nice ones, including the ability to play video. A feature that surprised me was its ability to play music without being hooked up to any sort of speakers or headphones. It probably would come in handy at some point, but, to me, it has been somewhat of an annoyance. It has started playing music without me touching it twice. The first time was while I was turning something in to the library I volunteer at, and I thought it was someone's ringtone. The second time was after my dad dropped me off at a different library, and I heard some music that I thought was coming from the fire station nearby. In both cases, as I kept listening, I eventually realized it was coming from my backpack.
In conclusion, I'll say this: iPods are amazing things. I never would have imagined such a device when I was little. Still, like any technology, it's going to evolve. Who knows what amazing devices they'll come out with next?

How the Internet Has Improved Since the Late '90s

I'm essentially stuck in my room for a little while, so, I'm just writing this post out of boredom. I won't say the reason why I'm stuck, other than that it's not any sort of punishment. If I were being punished, I wouldn't be writing this right now. This is something that I've had on my mind for a while, so, I figured, why not post about it?
Now, for the topic at hand. Most of you know that the Internet as we know it has been around for more than a decade. I still remember when I first started going on there. I found some amazing stuff, most (though not all) of which is now gone. The first two sites I remember going on was Humongous Entertainment's official sites, which was at www.humongous.com, and Scholastic's official page for The Magic School Bus at www.scholastic.com/magicschoolbus. I didn't find either of those pages through a Web search; I just saw the URLs on the covers of their media, and remembered them.
The first thing I remember typing into a search engine was "Scooby-Doo," and I found some great sites then, too. However, back then, search engines weren't what they are now. I remember typing "The Magic School Bus" into some search engine--Lycos, Infoseek, or something like that--and getting several pages of nothing but links to Microsoft.com's pages on the MSB computer games. I was just a kid then, but I knew that there was a lot more to that franchise than just computer games. (A modern equivalent would be doing a search for something like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings and finding nothing but sites about the video games.)
Despite later success with typing "Mork and Mindy" into a search engine, which was how I found Mork & Mindy Online, search engines still were somewhat wonky. I remember back in Summer of 1999, when we had just gotten Internet at home, and my mom wanted me to find information about the wren. So, I typed "wren" as well as "North American Birds" into Yahoo!, and didn't find anything close to what she was looking for. I wasn't doing anything different than I had done when I was looking for Scooby-Doo or Mork & Mindy, yet the results were nowhere near as pleasing. My mom claimed that I wasn't trying as hard as I did when I wanted to find stuff that I liked, and, although she was wrong, I can understand why she would have thought that. It was just because they were still working out the kinks of search engines.
Nowadays, you can pretty much find whatever you're looking for with a Google search. I'm thankful for that, because it makes looking up stuff online for other people much easier. Google hasn't always been as good as it is now, but I'm sure they'll continue to improve it for years to come.

Teach Me Something I Don't Know

NOTE: Okay, first off, I know some people might find the original song annoying, but I just can't think of another song that would work so well for this topic. Also, I want to leave this parody open for interpretation, but I feel I have to say that this is in no way talking about my current situation. I know what this parody means to me, but, unless you know my history, you might not understand what I'm talking about. I don't feel the way the parody describes about anything mentioned in it, so, please don't say, "I know you've traveled far!," or, "You're a baby-hater!" because what this parody says isn't even true for me anymore. Anyway, enjoy!

TEACH ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW
Parody of "Tell Me Something I Don't Know" by Selena Gomez & the Scene

(Teach me something I don't know!)

Everybody tells me
That I'm such a real smart kid.
I don't agree with it,
but still everyone says it.
Everybody says that I need kindergarten,
but my brain is beyond
the things that you're teaching!

PRE-CHORUS:
I come here every day!
It's such a waste of time!
The other kids here learn so much.
Why are their minds not like mine?
Oh!

CHORUS:
Teach me (3x)
Something I don't know! (3x)
Teach me (3x)
Something I don't know! (3x)
Why I don't go many miles,
What it takes to make you smile,
How to totally rid this world of little babies.
Teach me (3x)
Something I don't know! (3x)

Teach me, teach me something I don't know! (2x)

Everybody tells me that I know what I'm doing,
Whenever I'm reading,
But not when I'm writing.

Everybody tells me that I'm not any different,
But I know that I am unlike any of my friends.

REPEAT PRE-CHORUS

REPEAT CHORUS

RAP:
You're bored with that?
Well, I'm gonna give you books of higher levels
So, you'd better get to reading!

Can you read all of that?
Yeah, I can read all of that!
Are you sure about that?
Yes, I'm sure about that!
Oh, I don't believe this!

SUNG:
I'm on my way!
I could read all this in a day!
If this is it, then, I say:
School's so easy!

REPEAT CHORUS 2x

You Are My Number One

NOTE: As with my other parodies about crushes, this one is a joke. Also, those of you who are Smash Mouth fans may know that there is an actual song by them called "You Are My Number One," which is not the song of theirs parodied here. There are a couple of reasons why: 1) I have heard Smash Mouth's "You Are My Number One," and I love it, especially the lyrics, so I wouldn't want to change them; and 2) "Walkin' on the Sun" (the song parodied here) is much better-known. You understand, right? Enjoy!

YOU ARE MY NUMBER ONE
Parody of "Walkin' on the Sun" by Smash Mouth

It ain't no joke, no lie, yes, all my friends do know
About my humongous crush on Miss Anne Hathaway
Yet, most of the world, they say, "Why?", yeah, they inquire
They wonder how anyone could be obsessed with a celebrity
Well, then, I say, they're wack! Anne Hathaway is all that!
This is so not a fad! It's lasted too long for that!
Yeah, I'm still crushin', there's no question, I don't care if it's hip!
I'm still cool, 'cause my Facebook friends are over three hundred!

CHORUS:
She's a hottie, and how! She's seen in theaters right now!
As long as she is alive, my crush on her will not die!
And, if you watch her, you'll know just why I like her!
This I say to Anne: You continue to be my number one!

It was five years ago, yeah, '05 when I found out
That her actin' and her talent is just great, you know!
Just sat there in front of my big white computer
Was cryin' and laughin' to Ella Enchanted!
I knew right then it was Hil's end!
Anne had the crown, Hil's time was up!
Take the Lizzie pics down!
Within one week, I mentioned it to all my friends
'Cause they're the ones who know the true meaning of it!

REPEAT CHORUS

It ain't no joke, yeah, you'll know that when the pictures load
I'm still in full-on celebrity crushin' mode!
Yes, Anne woke me up, I woke up to the celebrity stuff!
The stuff you just can't get when you love Hilary Duff!
So, I sit back, kick back, and watch my favorite actress!
Yeah, Princess Diaries still isn't old hat!
No one can act anything like that looking that way!
My absolute number one hope is to meet Miss Annie one day!

REPEAT CHORUS

Anne, you will always be my number one! (4x)

Anne, I know you've never met me, but, thanks for a great five years! You continue to amaze in almost everything you do! Now, here's to five more years! -- Mr. Autistic

On Romantic Relationships

Okay, first off, for those who don't know: I've been single my whole life. The closest things I've had to girlfriends were celebrities whose pictures I put all over everything. There's been more times than I can count on one hand where I was hoping for a relationship with a female friend, but, I got shot down every time, sometimes before I even mentioned the thought of a relationship. This post is not an attempt to find a date; unless I personally know and have met you, if you offer me a date online, I'm going to refuse. I sincerely hope that a romantic relationship is part of my future, but it may not be God's will.
Now, I'm sure most of you reading this, especially if you are in or have been through high school and/or college, either are or were in some sort of romantic relationship. I don't hate or even dislike you for that. Granted, I do wish I could be in a relationship like you are or were, particularly if you are around my age or younger, but I'm not going to hold a grudge because of it. If I were to guess, I would say that there might be some reasons why I'm not ready for a relationship yet. Plus, I really don't want to rush into a relationship. I have/had friends, and I won't name names, though most of my long-time friends know at least one of these people, who got into a relationship, married, then started having problems and ended up divorced. I don't know what the stories behind why their marriages ended were, but they are really not any of my business. I know how painful a divorce can be, at least from a child's standpoint; my biological parents divorced when I was six weeks old, and it was hard growing up not having anyone to call Dad, while pretty much all of my friends' parents were still together. I definitely don't want to end up in a broken marriage. In fact, I wouldn't wish a divorce on anyone, no matter who they are.
Some of my friends may wonder why seeing them in a relationship bothers me at times. Well, friends, it isn't you; it's me. To illustrate my point, I'll share a story from my childhood. I've told this one before, but some of you might not remember it: Way back in the late 90's, I had some friends who lived in my neighborhood. On some weekends, they would go to some theme park or other fun location--I can't say the names of the places, because that would give my location away--while I was stuck at home with computer games I'd played a thousand times and no one to have any fun with. I wanted to go to those places back then, believe me, but I couldn't. So, I didn't want to hear my friends even talk about those places. If all they said was, "We went to [insert theme park here]," what I would hear was, "We went to [insert theme park here] and you didn't! Na-na-na-na-na-na!" Even then, I knew that wasn't my friends' intent, but, I wanted to go to those places so bad, and I couldn't, but they could, and I really didn't like that. Fast forward to the past few years, and it's pretty much the same story; just replace going to theme parks with having a romantic relationship.
Now, let me be clear: I'm not faulting any of my friends for posting stuff about their love lives; there's nothing that says I have to look at it. More than anything, I want my friends to be happy. I would hope that my friends would wish the same for me. It's like the book of Romans says: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." It's hard for me to rejoice about a friend's engagement while I'm their age or older and dateless, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be happy for them. After all, I don't want someone sitting there brooding or sulking because I'm engaged. I'm waiting to see how many "likes" I'll get when I'm finally able to truthfully post on Facebook that I'm actually in a relationship. I would hope it would be a lot.
In closing, I'll just say this: I'll keep waiting for the day when I find the right one for me. I'm still going to pursue a romantic relationship, despite the fact that I've been doing it for a decade and have had zero luck. While I'm waiting, Anne, Ashley, Siobhan and friends will keep me company. You may think that's stupid, but, if you really knew me, you'd realize that giving up the whole celebrity addiction is out of the question. As an autistic, I need some sort of obsession/addiction, and celebrities are mine. Maybe some girl will come along that has a bunch of celebrity crushes herself, and we'll have that in common. Who knows? Only time will tell...

On the Topic of Art

Everyone, autistics included, likes at least one type of art, whether they know that it's art or not. People usually think of art only being visual, like the paintings you see in museums. That is art, but that's not the only type of art. Webster defines art as "fine arts", and their definition of fine art is "art (as painting, sculpture, or music) concerned primarily with the creation of beautiful objects." So, what you hear on the radio could be considered art, too. Maybe I have a broader definition than most, but I also think that movies, video games, comic strips, and even writing could be considered types of art. Seriously, it takes a lot of effort to write a good novel, make people laugh every day, make a playable video game, or entertain people for two hours.
In fact, I've always had a broad definition of art, which got me into a lot of trouble in elementary school art class. I always wanted to put speech bubbles into my "artwork." (I say that in quotes because I never have been able to draw very well; probably my lack of coordination causes that, although there are plenty of perfectly coordinated people who can't draw.) However, my art teachers had a strict "no words, no letters" policy. I don't blame them; it was my fault, because I didn't know how to make my art "speak" without putting words in it. Pretty much all the visual art I grew up with had words in it, like a comic strip or children's novel, and/or moved and made noise, like a computer game or cartoon. I just didn't get how to make art without using words.
Everyone has types of art (visual and non-visual) they do or don't like. For example, I at least somewhat like most genres of music, but I cannot stand hardcore metal like P.O.D. It's the same with everyone. I'm not sure why, but there used to be an ad campaign about eight years ago or so that said, "Art. Ask for more." The only parts of the commercial I remember is some girl turning her parents' car radio from pop music to news, and the same girl handing her father a book titled Zoning and Variances: Volume XVI (or something like that) and saying, "Read me this one, Daddy." Truth be told, that probably is how some autistics are. The things that most people like--music, movies, TV, etc.--autistics hate. I'll admit that I'm not the biggest fan of current television (aside from American Idol), but I still like some shows. I also like several movies that were box office smashes, like the Star Wars movies, and songs of all different genres, a good part of which you can hear on most popular radio stations. That makes me at least somewhat normal. In the past, well before that ad campaign, I hated music and wasn't too big on movies. It wasn't until I heard dc talk's Supernatural album and started going to the theater more often that I began to like those things. I wonder if that aforementioned ad campaign was supposed to combat some problem. If it was, I never knew anyone besides myself that had it.
There will always be a debate over what is and isn't art. I have my own views about what art is, but I'm not going to sit there and debate with someone who disagrees with me on that topic. It's like that old sports debate: everyone agrees that football, basketball, baseball and such are sports, but some people say that things like bowling or even band/orchestra are sports, while others disagree. I couldn't care less about sports at all, so I have no opinion; I'll just let them debate. It's like they say: Art is in the eye of the beholder. You like the kind of art you like, and I'll like the kind of art I like. Fair enough, right?